


Two Hearts, One Roof

by iblamethenubbins



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Kara lands on time, Pining, Slow Burn, lots of gay panic, more angst than I had previously anticipated, rom sitcom AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 70,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iblamethenubbins/pseuds/iblamethenubbins
Summary: Kara and Cat have been best friends since high school and now, after graduating from college, have decided to move in together. Domestic fluff and quiet longing ensue.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU set in the early '90s, where Kara is a budding artist and Cat interns at the Planet. They're both in their early 20s which means Superman is not Superman yet, but only a tween still back in Kansas.  
> I'm picking and choosing from canon according to my needs, especially regarding Cat, so beware. 
> 
> The rating is now M, but it's a slow burn so don't expect things to heat up anytime soon. 
> 
> Special thanks to beta reader extraordinaire and writing buddy, [zoethart](http://archiveofourown.org/users/zoethart/pseuds/zoethart). Without our long distance writing sessions this would probably still be a cute idea in my head and nothing else.
> 
> And here is a [link to a pinterest moodboard](https://www.pinterest.com/stellapiumata/roommate-au-moodboard/) I have created for this fic to inspire me and to offer some visuals to go along with the story, which I update every now and then :)

It’s not easy, but they finally find an apartment. Kara would have been fine with the first fifteen they viewed, but Cat kept finding something wrong in all of them. True, Kara admits that having only one bedroom shouldn’t be an option but she had been willing to sacrifice her personal space for a good location and an even better price. It’s not like they were making millions, with her occasional exhibitions at tiny, virtually-unknown galleries and Cat still trying to make a name for herself as a reporter at the Daily Planet. But Cat had been her usual picky self, behaving as if she already was the millionaire she’s convinced she’ll become one day.  
The first place wasn’t bright enough, the second was too damp, the neighborhood wasn’t trendy enough in the one after that, in another the smell wasn’t right and in the latest one an old man in the building had given her the stink eye. Whenever Kara thought they had found the right one, Cat would come up with a ridiculous objection. And Kara’s legendary patience had started to crumble. The same patience and saintly understanding that had gotten them through four years of high school (and college after that) without killing each other. 

Kara had been the new kid in town, shy and awkward and clumsy. Cat had been the class overachiever, top grades, bitch face and no friends. Kara hadn’t exactly tried to be friends with her, not when anytime she looked at her, Cat would hiss at her. Kara had thought that Cat truly lived up to her name. But then one day Kara had left her jacket in the bathroom after school, and had walked in on the local girl gang cornering Cat. They had already emptied her bag all over the floor and they were busy stomping on her neat folders and pretty pens, when Kara shouted, “Leave her alone!” She had slammed two of the bullies onto the two opposite walls and the rest of them scrammed horrified. The girls Kara had slammed onto the wall never reported her, probably too embarrassed to admit that one scrawny, clumsy girl had kicked their asses. And Cat had sort of stuck with her from then on. It hadn’t been easy. They were, and still are, almost polar opposites, but somehow they had clicked. Maybe they had simply needed each other at first. But they had slowly learned to really like each other. And the need had become something more, something bigger. A bond that neither of them would ever be able or want to sever now. 

They are friends for life, even though sometimes it’s hard to remember why.

“So, this is it!” Kara beams, twirling around their soon-to-be living room.

“Hm,” Cat says.

“No,” says Kara, stopping her twirl midway. “Do not ‘hm’ me now. This is it. You’ve agreed. The landlord is coming back now with the lease. There is no going back.”

“Yeeees,” says Cat. “But…”

“No, no ‘buts’. Stop it right there .This is perfect! It’s a ten-minute walk from the Daily Planet, it has two rooms, it’s bright, no funny smells, no stink-eye neighbors. It’s good. We’re good.”

“Okay, but I’m getting the room overlooking the park.”

“Fine."

“And we’re not buying the furniture in vintage shops.”

Kara scrunches up her nose but agrees to that too.

“Ikea?” she says.

“Hmpff. I suppose. That’s all we can afford now. But at least it’s not second-hand.”

“Ah come oh. It’ll be fun! We get to decorate our own place! No more dorm rooms!”

Cat smiles at that and nods. And Kara heaves a sigh of relief. It seems like they really did it. They are finally proper grown ups. With proper jobs. Sort of. As soon as they sign the lease, they’ll be given the keys and their new life will begin. 

“So pizza and potstickers for dinner to celebrate?” she says.

Cat smiles and nods. “And champagne.”

“You mean bubbly wine, right?”

“Whatever.”


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering, Kara and Cat's apartment looks like Ally and Renee's in Ally McBeal, only a bit smaller. And they have a separate kitchen, not an open space.  
> I got the idea watching that show, so that's how I imagine it :)

“Are you really just gonna sit there the entire time?” says Kara, dropping a pile of cardboard boxes on their living room floor.

Cat looks up from her fashion magazine. “Um. Yeah?”

Kara gives her a look and puts her hands on her hips. “I should have known that bringing in the couch first wasn’t a good idea.”

“What, do you mean to tell mean that you’re tired?”

“No… but--”

“So why should I risk pulling a muscle when you can do all the hard work without breaking a sweat?”

“But, like, what are the neighbors gonna think?”

“That you’re my assistant? It will be good for my image of future media mogul,” she says, flipping through another page.

“I can’t believe this. At least you could pretend you’re helping.”

Cat huffs. “Fine. If it makes you feel better, I’ll carry something.”

Cat goes out and comes back holding a tiny plant. She carries it up a window sill and leaves it there. “Yes, nice,” she says looking at it.

Kara comes in with another huge load and just rolls her eyes. This is all her fault for suggesting they’d do the move all by themselves while Cat wanted to hire a moving company. They both know they can’t afford it and Kara’s foster family had lent them their truck so it had been an obvious choice. They had made a road trip out of it, driving all the way from Kansas to Metropolis and it had been fun. But now that Kara feels like Cat’s servant, she’s starting to regret this whole idea.

Cat goes back out and comes back with a coat rack. Well, that’s a step up, Kara thinks. Cat leaves it by the door and huffs.

“Okay, are we done yet?”

“Just these last few boxes, I think,” Kara says carrying another load.

“Great. We can rest now,” Cat smiles.

Kara rolls her eyes, but says nothing. They both flop down on the couch and look at each other.

“We finally made it,” Kara says. “We have our own place. Our stuff is in it. Our cushions are on the couch,” she says, taking one and hugging it.

“Do you think we’ll survive this without killing each other?”

Kara laughs. “Well, we have survived our friendship all these years, I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Yes, but living together. You know it’s not going to be easy. I’m not going to be easy.”

“I know. But I wouldn’t want to live with anyone else.”

Cat smiles at her and Kara smiles back. Yes, they can do this.

“Hey, how about a housewarming party?” Kara says.

“What about it?”

“Don’t you want to have one?”

“Um. Sure!”

“Gee, don’t sound too enthusiastic.”

“No, no, that’s a great idea. Let’s have a big party and invite all of our zero friends. I’m sure they’ll be delighted.”

“Hey, we have friends! I have plenty.”

“Name one.”

“Um. The - um - the secretary at the gallery!”

“Right.”

“And-- and my cousin!”

“He’s 12.”

“Fine. What about you? Anyone at the Daily Planet?”

“Sure, plenty of colleagues there. No one I’d actually care to invite to my party, though.”

Kara frowns. “We really suck at this. OK, the first mission of our new life is to Get Friends!”

Cat purses her lips to the side and nods. “Good plan. Let’s go purchase some.”

Kara throws the cushion at her and laughs. “See? That’s exactly why we don’t have any. No, we’re gonna have a party, we’re gonna tell people to bring their friends, spread the word. It’ll be fun.”

“Fine. But we might need more than one couch, two cushions and a coat rack.”

“Ugh. Unpacking,” Kara says, dropping her head back.

“Yes. Although, we have the whole weekend for that. We should just order cheeseburgers and rent out a movie”

“Yes!” Kara says, bouncing up.

Cat holds out a finger and shakes her head. “I’m not watching Free Willy again.”

“Fine. Sleepless in Seattle?”

Cat rolls her eyes. “OK. But you go get it.”

“As if it was ever a question.”

“I’ll warm up the couch,” says Cat.

“Or better, you could dig out a blanket so we can snuggle properly.”

“Deal.”

“And the TV! Don’t forget the TV. It’s in the same box as the VCR,” she says grabbing her coat and her keys.

The first night together in their new apartment and they’re already going to snuggle on the couch watching movies. Kara feels something warming up in her chest. She stops in her steps and checks. Yes, this is what happiness feels like. She is happy. So why is she also scared? She shakes her head and chalks it up to probably just the anxiety of this new beginning. She skips down the road and thinks only of Cat, waiting for her in their new home, wrapped in a blanket and her chest fills up with joy again and this time she tries to hold on to that feeling, and that feeling only.


	3. Three

“Who _are_ all these people?” Kara shouts.

She had trouble finding Cat in the crowded little apartment. People are smoking, canoodling on their couch, dancing. There is loud music playing and they don’t even own a stereo. Not even in their college years had they had a party this wild. Probably because they didn’t have their own apartment and they had both stayed away from almost every socializing night they were invited to. So this is new to them.

“Ugh, please don’t shout into my ear,” Cat says. She’s leaning on their window sill, trying to breath in some fresh air, holding a glass of red wine in her hand.

“This is not a housewarming, this is a housewrecking! Have you seen what’s happening in the kitchen? People are doing body shots. And I didn’t even know what body shots were until tonight.”

“I thought this was what you wanted? A big party, a chance to make friends?”

“Well, I was wrong, okay? I wish they would all go away.”

Cat turns around to face the crowd and smirks. She sips her wine and then waves her arm at the living room. “Maybe we should just go with the flow. Find some hot guy, enjoy the moment…”

“Are you enjoying this?”

“Hell, no. Why do you think I was here at the window drinking alone? ”

“Do you even know anyone here? I think the two people I knew have already left.”

“I do, actually. Some of these are interns at the Planet, others I’ve seen around… The rest is anyone’s guess.”

“We could just put our foot down and tell everyone to leave. Or at least to stop smoking.”

Cat finishes her wine in one go and says, “I’m going in.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean…”

Cat laughs. “Calm down. I’m just going to refill my glass. Be right back. In the meantime, try to…” Cat gestures with her arms towards the room, “mingle.”

Kara scrunches up her nose. “Mingle?”

She watches Cat sway into the crowd, headed towards the kitchen. She wonders how much she’s had to drink already. Probably a lot, judging by her unsteady legs. She watches her while a tall guy moves to let her through and then turns his head to look at her. She can’t blame him. Cat does look stunning tonight. She’s wearing a tiny low-cut black dress that shows off her perfect legs and rides up slightly as she walks, her hair is curled and bouncy, and her makeup is flawless. Like everything she does, of course. Kara sighs and feels that familiar tug at her heart anytime she thinks about Cat this way. A sense of pride and affection mixed up with sadness and a quiet longing that she has long learned to live with. It’s just how she feels about Cat. She’s always wanted to keep her near her, protect her, be there for her. But no matter how much time they spend together, how close they are, she always feels like pulling Cat towards her. Because it’s never enough.

Being a displaced alien means that all her relationships on Earth always felt precarious, somehow. Aside from her cousin, who adores her and always asks her to talk to him about their lost planet, and her adoptive family who do their best to love her as their own, she has no one else who would love her unconditionally, whose love isn’t something she needs to earn. So maybe that’s why she feels like constantly pulling Cat towards her. No matter how close they are, no matter how many times they say they’re like sisters, Cat will never be her family. Will never be someone who would love her no matter what. She could lose her anytime, and she’s lost so much in her life already, she can’t bear to even think of losing Cat. So she keeps pulling, keeps needing more.

She shakes her head, trying to push the maudlin thoughts away. Maybe Cat is right. Maybe she does need to seize the moment. She looks around, surveys the crowd for someone who she might remotely want to get to know, and then she sees it. The same guy who had stared at Cat, is now leaning against the wall with one arm, towering over her. Rage suddenly rises inside her and she launches herself at him, pushing him away and going “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

The only reason the guy doesn’t fall to the ground is because Kara uses almost none of her super strength and the people around him catch him.

“Kara? What the hell?” Cat shouts. She is looking at her with her eyebrows raised and a very displeased expression on her face. Oops.

“I-- I thought… Wasn’t he, like, bothering you?”

“Oh, Kara,” Cat says, rolling her eyes.

The guy rubs his arm and frowns at Kara. “Wow, you must work out a lot. That hurt!”

“Greg, this is Kara, my roommate. We actually live here,” she says to the tall guy, smiling. “Kara, this is Greg.”

“It’s Glen, actually.”

Kara feels sick. She wishes she could disappear into the ground. But she decides to be polite and gives him a weak smile. “Sorry. I thought you were…”

“A jerk?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry to disappoint. So, you’re the house-warmees, huh? Nice party.”

“Yeah, well. I’m glad you’re enjoying it, I’m just gonna…” she gestures vaguely to the room and tries to leave.

“No, wait. Stay. Let me introduce you to my friends here.”

She glances at Cat who apparently has stopped listening and is leaning her head back to the wall with her eyes closed.

“Um. OK.”

The Greg-Glen guy whispers something to Cat’s ear and Cat opens her eyes. She looks at Kara and then at the guy again and shrugs. He takes Cat’s hand and guides her into the kitchen and Kara can only follow them.

 

***

 

“Ugh, why did you let me have so many margarita jello shots. I don’t even like jello.”

They’re both sitting on their couch. The crowd has left and the sun is almost up.

“It seemed like you were having fun.”

“Oh, please. The fun wasn’t in the shots.”

“No?”

Cat shakes her head and then groans again. She holds her head with her hands and says, “No, dummy. The fun was in watching that guy, what’s his name…”

“Glen?”

“No, pff. The other one. I can’t remember. I just liked how fascinated he was by the way I was eating the jello.”

“Right.”

“He was cute. Soooo cute. I could have had him like that,” she says, snapping her fingers.

“I’m sure you could have. Like with half of the people at the party.”

“And the other half could have been yours.”

“Yeah, right.”

“No, really,” she slurs. She leans towards her, with her index finger raised at her. “You have no idea how pretty you are, Kara.”  

Kara stares at her and swallows. Then she adjusts her glasses and gets up. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“I am perfectly capable of doing that myself, I’ll have you know.”

“Sure you can,” she says, while she grabs Cat’s hands and pulls her up. Cat stumbles a little and Kara catches her.

“Hold on to me, okay?” she says, while she wraps Cat’s arm around her waist.

“Wait, wait, I need to…” Cat flings her heels across the room, “…there. Much better. I can totally do this alone now.”

“No, you can’t. Just hold on to me.”

“I’m not even that drunk. I could have gone on. Not like you, of course. But that’s cheating. You’re a cheater, Kara Zor-El.”

“Just keep walking. We’re almost there.”

Kara is grateful for her super strength, because Cat is making this difficult. Leaning heavily against her, and rarely putting one foot in front of the other, so that Kara has to basically carry her. They make it to Cat’s bedroom and Kara gently sits her on the bed.

“Do you want to change into your pajamas?”

Cat makes a sound between a growl and a moan.

“That’s a no, then.”

“The room is spinning. Make it stop.”

“I wish I could, but unfortunately it’s not one of my powers. Just, get into bed. I’ll get you some water.”

Kara goes into the kitchen. Tries not to pay attention to the utter mess their guests have left. Manages to find a clean glass by some miracle and comes back to Cat with the glass filled with water. She finds her still on top of the bed, curled up and asleep. She leans against the doorframe and looks at her with a resigned smile. She leaves the glass on the nightstand, and then lifts Cat with one arm and with the other pulls the covers down. She puts her down and pulls the covers up again, tucking her in. She brushes her hair off her face and wishes she could prevent the headache she’s definitely going to have when she wakes up. All she can do is leave some aspirin beside the glass and let her sleep it off.

She sits there for a little while, watching her breathe, until she sees the morning light coming through the curtains and she takes it as her cue to leave. She could do with a couple of hours of sleep.


	4. Four

“Why don’t I smell food?” Cat asks, hanging her jacket on the coat rack.

Kara turns from her work in progress, paintbrush in hand and skewed glasses, to look at Cat. She hasn’t even heard her coming in.

“Huh?”

“It was your turn to make dinner, remember? Or at least have something ready?”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry! I completely…”

“Yeah, yeah, you forgot,” says Cat, with a dismissive wave of her hand. She flops down on the couch and removes her shoes.

“How was your day?” Kara asks.

“A fucking joke is what it was. I had to suck it up to Perry fucking White and his staff, proofreading pieces of fucking garbage that needed to be re-written completely, or better yet, trashed. And now he wants me to write the fucking gossip column.”

“Oh-kay.”

“The gossip column, Kara!”

“Does it mean he’s offering you a job?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “He hasn’t even mentioned paying me.”

“But he’s going to put you in charge of the whole section?”

“Kara. My sweet, lovely Kara whom I love so much. No one wants to be in charge of the gossip column. It’s like being queen of the sewers. I will never be taken seriously if I start writing about who is cheating on who and who got the latest boob job.”

Kara sets her brush down and wipes her hand on her dungarees. She walks over to Cat and kneels in front of her. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be brilliant at it.”

Cat narrows her eyes at her.

“No, hear me out. You have a real knack for sarcasm. You’re witty, you’re smart, you’re funny. You poke fun at everyone and you always manage to find people’s vulnerable spots, using them to your advantage. Cat, gossip doesn’t have to be mindless reporting on celebrities’ whereabouts. In your hands, I think… I think it could become a form of art.”

Cat purses her lips and chuckles. “I knew there was a reason I keep you around.”

“I only speak the truth,” Kara says, slapping her legs and standing up again. “And now I’m going to feed you.”

“With what, oil paint?”

“No. I’m going to make you Kara’s world famous cheese omelette.”

“Kara, darling, it’s not that I don’t trust you, but…”

“You don’t trust me.”

“No.”

“But it _is_ my turn.”

“Yes! And in your case I thought it meant ordering pizza. I am perfectly fine with pizza.”

“I promise, you won’t regret it.”

 

***

 

“What the hell was that?” Cat shouts from the living room.

“Nothing!” Kara replies, closing the door to the kitchen behind her.

“Kara…” Cat says in a menacing tone. “What did you do?”

Kara laughs nervously. “It’s nothing! It’s just… the kitchen will be out of service for a while.”

Cat glances at the kitchen door. “Um, Kara? Why is there white smoke coming through the door?”

“Oh, that? That’s just… the, um, ice. I told you, nothing to worry about.”

“The _ice_?”

“Yes. Well. I-- I kinda had to use my freezing breath to put down the fire that was sort of spreading after I used my heat vision to, um, cook the top of the omelette…” Kara says, grimacing.

“Oh dear God, Kara. I can’t believe that sentence is even possible. And what is this freezing breath thing? I never heard you mentioning it before.”

“No, it’s a new thing I’ve been trying. I knew it needed work, but I panicked. I didn’t want to destroy our brand new kitchen.”

“Instead you froze it.”

“Sorry.”

“And what’s going to happen when all the ice melts?”

“I haven’t thought this far.”

“Well, you better start thinking about it, ‘cause I’m not going to mop it up for you. Go, go, do something about it. I’ll ring the pizza place. But this is the last time I let you in that kitchen.”

 

***

 

Their pizzas arrive half an hour later. By that time Kara has managed to clear out most of the ice in the kitchen, while mentally swearing to never ever try to use her superpowers to cook again.

They eat sitting with their legs crossed on the couch, watching TV, until their bellies are full.

“So, how was your day,” Cat asks. “Sold any paintings?”

“No. I haven’t even left the house. I got stuck working on this new project and I lost track of time.”

Cat gets up to get a closer look.

“It’s not finished,” Kara warns.

“Oh my God, Kara, this is stunning.”

“You think so? It’s still a little rough.”

“No, I love it, I really do. I mean, I think your paintings are always incredible, but this… this might be my favorite.”

She had decided that morning to start a new series, trying to merge her memories of Krypton with the place where she lives now. So she started painting the forest just outside her city on her home planet, where she used to go on holidays and on special occasions with her family, and then added the skyscrapers of Metropolis all around it. She wasn’t sure it would work, but Cat’s reaction is making it all worth it.

“Thanks, Cat. It means a lot.”

“I wish I had the money to pay you, I would buy it in a heartbeat. This is Krypton, isn’t it? I would recognize that sky anywhere.”

Kara laughs. “You sound like you’ve been there.”

“In a way I have. You’ve been painting Krypton since I’ve met you. The kids in our class used to think you were really into fantasy and sci-fi, remember?”

“I do,” she laughs. “While they never suspected _you_ were the closeted nerd.”

“Whatever. You really have to start putting your name out there, Kara. Hanging your work in that tiny gallery and doing the street art market once a week is not going to get you noticed. You deserve so much more.”

“Thank you. But it’s hard. And I feel like I’ve only just gotten started. I wish I could just paint and not worry about anything else.”

“I know. But first you need to organize an exhibition somewhere really cool, and then I’ll write a piece about it for the Planet. That should get you started.”

“You’ll write a piece? In your gossip column?”

“Oh shut up. I can still contribute to the rest of the paper. Or… or maybe you could, I don’t know, do something scandalous. Like, show up naked at the opening. That would give me some material to work with.”

Kara just throws a pillow at her.

“What? Think about it. There is no such thing as bad publicity.”

“Says the one who doesn’t even want to write for the gossip column because she’s afraid of being stigmatized.”

“Touché.”

Cat picks up the cushion and returns to the couch. She sits down and hugs the cushion. “How about your superpowers?”

“What about them?”

“Why not use them?”

“You mean to create some scandal at my next exhibition?”

“No, I don’t mean that. Although, now that you mention it…”

“Well, then what _do_ you mean?”

“Why not start charging? Use your strength to your advantage. You could, I don’t know, fight crime for starters?”

“OK, you want me to enroll in the police now?”

“No, not the police, dummy. Just freelance work,” she shrugs.

“You know that would mean exposing my powers, my whole identity, to the world. I can’t do that.”

Cat is silent for a while, and then says, “How about a mask?”

“What, like Zorro?”

Cat frowns. “No, you’re right. We’re not in a swashbuckling pulp novel. But you’d need something to hide.”

“Well, I’ll think about it. In the meantime, learning how to control my powers would be a good start.”

“How’s the flying going?”

Kara shrugs. “It’s not. Ever since I moved here, it hasn’t been safe. Too many people could see me.”

“OK,” Cat says putting the cushion down and turning towards her, “you need to find a safe place to practice.”

“Such as?”

Cat thinks for a bit. “How about one of those abandoned warehouses you always see in the movies. There must be a few around in Metropolis, right?”

“I guess. But I need to find one.”

“I’ll help you. We’ll take the truck this weekend and we’ll drive around the seediest areas of this city.”

Kara laughs. “You know, we’re going to have to return it at some point.”

Cat shrugs. “All the better reason to make the most of it while we have it.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Of course.”

“That would be really amazing, Cat. I really miss flying.”

“I know. You get really fidgety when you don’t for a long time. Like a bird in a cage. And then you end up setting our kitchen on fire and then freezing it all in the same night. You need an outlet.”

“Thanks, Cat,” Kara says and then wraps her in a bear hug. Cat hugs her back and squeezes. Then she lets go and kisses her cheek goodnight. Kara smiles, keeping her eyes closed, and resists the familiar need to pull Cat back to her and hold her just a little bit longer, just a little bit tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: The extra long Thanksgiving episode with the Kents and a surprise guest. Expect DRAMA (and fluff. Always fluff.)


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Thanksgiving special!
> 
> Lots of fluff and a sprinkle of DRAMA and then some more fluffity fluff. ENJOY and Happy Thanksgiving people ♥♥♥

“So, Martha just rang, she wants to know what we’re doing for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh God. Does she want to know now?”

“Well. It  _ is _ next week.”

Cat groans. She pours herself a glass of white wine and sits on the stool by the kitchen bar, while Kara heats herself a cup of cocoa.

“Has she invited us over?”

“Well, actually, I was wondering if maybe we could have it here?”

“What? No. No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because this place is tiny. And we barely have any furniture.”

Kara narrows her eyes. “Do you really not like my family?”

Cat’s shoulders drop. “No, Kara. It’s not that I don’t like them…”

“It’s that they like you too much.”

“Precisely.”

“What if I make Martha promise not to squeeze your cheeks and tell you to put on some weight?”

“Yeah, that would be a good start. And if Jonathan asks me one more time why I don’t have a husband yet, I’ll scream.”

“Yeah, well. Join the club.”

Cat raises one eyebrow and tilts her head. “I do have good points, Kara.”

“OK, but consider this. Cooked food. Stuffed Turkey. Mashed potatoes. Cranberry sauce. Hush puppies. Pumpkin cheesecake.”

“OK, alright, I get the point. We’d get fed. That’s… something to consider.”

“And I’d love to see Kal-El. I’m supposed to look after him, protect him, even teach him about our planet and stuff, but I can’t do much from here. I’m dying to know how he’s doing, how school is, how his powers are developing. You know, family stuff.”

“You really want to do this, huh?”

“Yes. I’m sure it would be a much better housewarming than what we’ve had.”

“Ha! I certainly won’t be able to get as drunk as then.”

“Which is a good thing, right? Remember the headache that lasted for two days straight? Remember the hot water bottle? Remember the toilet bowl?”

“OK, fine! Let’s do this damned Thanksgiving dinner. As long as neither of us is cooking.”

“Nope, no cooking shall be done. Only eating.”

“So trip to Ikea this Sunday?”

“Yes! Meatballs!”

Cat rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her wine.

 

***

 

“Sweetheaaaaaart! We’re here!”

Kara almost has a heart attack when she hears Martha. She’s still in her PJs, happily eating ice cream out of the carton and watching TV. She is not expecting the Kents to arrive now.

Cat is still in the shower. Kara is sure she’s going to have a fit when she sees them invading their living room at 11 o’clock in the morning.

She quickly gets up and goes to the door.

“Martha! Jonathan!” She forces herself to look delighted. They both hug her at the same time and hold tight.

“Honey, we’ve missed you so much,” Jonathan says.

“Me too,” she says when they release her. “Where’s Kal-El?”

“He’s getting the food from the taxi’s trunk. He insisted on carrying everything. Oh, by the way, we’ve started calling him Clark when we’re in private too. You know, to get used to it. He doesn’t mind it.”

“Oh. I see.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

“No! No. I mean, it’s weird. But I can try. If it’s for his protection.”

“Here he is.”

“Kara!” he shouts from below. He almost flies up the stairs. He puts the cake down and flings himself at her. She squeezes tight and lifts him up.

“Hey little man. It’s so great to see you! And look how much you’ve grown.”

“Kara, put me down. We saw each other last month?”

“Yeah but still. Anyway, did you bring cake? I hope it’s what I think it is.”

“Of course,” Martha says. “Pumpkin cheesecake. I’ve actually made three. One for you, one for Clark and one for everyone else.”

“Good thinking.”

“So, aren’t you going to show us around?” Jonathan says, peeking in.

“Sure! Sure, come on in. Oh, and do you mind taking your shoes off? We have a strict no-shoe policy at home. You know how Cat feels about germs. We have slippers for everyone.” 

While they’re all busy taking their shoes off and donning fluffy slippers, Kara says, “Anyway, I wasn’t expecting you so early. I thought you were going to tell me what time you were landing so I could come pick you up.”

“We actually caught an early flight and decided to surprise you. We really couldn’t wait to see you.”

“Great!” Kara says, and looks around. The place doesn’t look too bad. It’s one of the perks of living with Cat Grant. She might be leaving her glasses and pens all over the place, but she does like to keep the house almost spotless. Still. Cat is going to kill her.

“So, this is our living room.”

“Hmm, nice and cozy. I like it,” Martha says.

“You can leave everything here on this table and…”

“Is that a Sega Mega Drive?” Clark gasps. “Ma and Pa won’t let me have one!”

“Yes, well, that is actually Cat’s… I don’t know if you should…”

“Do you have the latest Sonic?”

“I… don’t know. Let’s just--”

“Oh, please let me play with it!”

“OK, guys. I really need to go and talk to Cat. I’ll be back in a minute, OK? I am so glad you’re here. I really am. And Kal-El, do not touch that if you want to live.”

She darts out of the living room and knocks on the bathroom door.

“Yes?”

“Cat, it’s me, please let me in. It’s an emergency.”

She hears the lock turning and then the door opens. And Kara blinks. Because Cat is still not dressed, she’s in her underwear and it’s not like she’s never seen Cat in her underwear before but it’s been so long since the last time and this is tiny. Like, minuscule. And what’s even the point of wearing such tiny panties. Aren’t they uncomfortable? And that bra can’t be pushing her breast up this much, how does it even do that?

“Kara?”

“Hm?”

“Kara, what’s the emergency?”

“Oh. Yes. Wait, close the door. And…” she gestures with her hands “maybe put something on.”

Cat frowns. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, what’s going on is that my family is here. Like, in the living room here. Now,” she says, trying to focus on Cat’s eyes and nothing else.

“WHAT?”

“Yeah. I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not even noon!”

Kara grimaces. “I don’t know what to say. They just showed up. And Kal-El… I mean, Clark. Whatever, my cousin, he wants to play with your game thingy?”

“Ha ha. No. He’s not touching that. If he’s anything like you, he only needs to even look at it to break it.”

“OK, well, he’s really excited about it, so maybe you can play with him?”

Cat sighs. “Fine. Just let me get dressed and I’ll be out. But you’re gonna have to make it up to me, Kara Zor-El.”

Kara closes the door and takes a second to calm down. Things are happening way too fast for her liking. She can only hope this is the last emergency she has to deal with before the end of the day.

“So!” she says, cheerfully, returning to the living room. Martha is not there, so she’s probably unpacking everything in the kitchen. Jonathan is already watching TV on the couch and Kal-El is sprawled on the floor, flipping through some of Cat’s comics. She decides to let that one go, at least he’s stopped thinking about the Sega for now.

“Kara, can I borrow these? They’re so hard to find at home,” Kal-El asks.

“You’d have to ask Cat.”

“Seriously? Wow, you have the coolest roommate.”

“Kal-El, you know Cat. She’s the one who bought you that Masters of the Universe castle for Christmas last year? And you went to Disneyland together the year before? You know she’s cool.”

“Yeah. She is. And pretty. Isn’t she pretty, Pa?”

“Real pretty. Has she found a husband yet?” Jonathan asks Kara.

“Yeah, about that. Remember how you promised not to mention the husband thing?”

“I do. But I’m talking to you, now.”

Kara sighs. “No, she hasn’t. She lives with me. Neither of us have husbands, OK? I’m not even sure she wants one. She’s really focused on work.”

“Of course she wants a husband!” he scoffs. “Every girls wants a husband! Why, don’t you?”

“Um, I… do we have to talk about this now? Let’s have coffee first. I’ll make you coffee.”

“Maybe I’ll marry Cat. When I’m older, like.”

“Who wants to marry me?” says Cat, emerging from the bathroom, looking like her usual perfect self. She has put on blue jeans, a pair that Kara knows are new because she’s never seen them before and they look soft and comfortable, and they hug her figure much better than any other pants she owns, and a maroon jumper that is loose on one shoulder, so that it leaves a little bit of skin bare. And her hair is freshly curled and bouncy, she’s practically glowing. And she hasn’t even put any make-up on yet.

Kal-El leaves the comics on the floor and runs to hug Cat. 

 

“Hey buster,” she says, hugging back.

“You look really pretty. Can I play with your Sega?”

Cat tilts her head, amused. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, mister. Try again.”

“No, dear, it’s true, he’s been going on about you since we got here,” Jonathan says. “ ‘Cat is so cool, Cat is so pretty’,” he says mockingly.

“Pa!” Kal-El says, blushing and unwrapping himself from Cat’s embrace.

“It’s OK, honey,” she says, ruffling his hair. “It just means you have eyes.” Then she turns around and says, “Mr Kent, so nice to see you again. I trust you had a good flight?”

“We did, thanks. Nice little place you got here.”

“Hmm yeah. I mean, it’s not the best but…”

“HONEY! Look how beautiful you are! Come here, let me give you a big hug!” Martha says, coming from the kitchen.

Cat looks horrified for a second, but she lets herself be bear-hugged by Mama Kent.

“Hi Martha, lovely to see you,” she manages to say, while Martha engulfs her in her arms.

“Oh my lord, you’re skin and bones. Does Kara eat all your food?”

“Martha,” Kara says narrowing her eyes, “what did we say?”

“Oh, yes, of course, I’m sorry. But I can’t help it when I’m hugging a twig! Promise me you’re gonna stuff your face today.”

“That’s the plan,” Cat says, and this time her smile isn’t forced.

“OK,” Kara says, looking at her watch. “What do you say we go out and have a nice big breakfast? Or we could buy coffee and bring it back here. Get some fresh air?”

“Can I stay in and play video games with Cat?”

“Shouldn’t you ask Cat first if she wants to play with you?” Martha says.

“You’re on, mister,” Cat says. “Are you ready to have your butt kicked?”

Kal-El smiles and runs to get the Sega from under the TV.

“Nuh-uh!” warns Cat. “Hands where I can see them. Sit there and wait while I set it up.”

“You sure you don’t mind?” Kara says.

“As long as you bring me back a latte, I’ll be fine.”

“Skinny and scorching hot?”

“That’s the one.”

“Great, okay. Just give me a second to get dressed, guys. I can’t wait to show you around, this neighborhood is really cool.”

 

***

 

They come back half an hour later and they find Cat and Kal-El still in front of the TV, playing some game with two little blue monster things running around, Cat lying sprawled on her stomach and Kal-El sitting with his legs crossed.

“We’re back!” she announces.

Neither of them reply. They’re both completely focused on the screen. Kal-El’s tongue is hanging out and he looks like he would be sweating if he wasn’t a super alien from another planet. Cat is smirking and dangling her legs behind her.

“That is not fair!” Kal-El says, dropping his joystick on the floor.

Cat raises an eyebrow. “What’s not fair? Your incompetence?”

“It’s not fair because this game is yours and you get to play with it all the time and I don’t.”

“Just learn how to lose graciously.”

“Whatever.”

“OK. Who wants coffee?” Kara says, offering a cup to Cat.

“Oh yes, please,” she says, standing up.

“Shoot, wait, I forgot!” Kara says, taking the cup back.

“What?”

“It’s not hot enough.” She takes the lid off and starts focusing her eyes on the coffee.

“Are you sure this is wise?” Cat says slowly. “Remember the omelette incident?”

“No, I’m sure. I’ve been practicing. Watch.” She shoots her heat ray on the latte and she only spills a little bit of it on her hand, without setting anything on fire.

Cat takes the cup and sips. “Oh. Perfection.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re getting really good at using your powers, Kara,” Kal-El says.

“Thanks! It’s a work in progress but I’m learning. And Cat has been taking me to this huge warehouse downtown to fly at the weekends.”

Kal-El gasps. “No way.”

“Yes way. You should see me now. My landings are so much better. I can actually hover now. It’s so cool.”

“Wow, I’m so jealous. Will you take me some day?”

Martha clears her throat and they turn to look at her. “Kara, honey, can I have a word with you. In private?”

“Um. Sure. Let’s go to my room.”

They both sit on her bed, side by side.

“Kara, I’m concerned about you flying around. Even if it’s in some warehouse, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Why not? I need to learn how to control my powers.”

“I know dear, but what if someone sees you? Your whole life would be turned upside down. You don’t want that, do you?”

“No, but…”

“You can’t risk everything. You would be putting Clark in danger too. And we’ve worked so hard to keep you safe all this time.”

“I know.”

“There must be some other way.”

“Cat thinks I should wear a mask. Or something.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“And she said I should start charging. You know, for my services.”

Martha frowns. “That’s… less of a good idea.”

“Why? I mean, I have this gift, I should use it.”

“Yes. You should use it, but for good. You can’t ask people for money. It should come out of the kindness of your heart. You should inspire people. Be a hero.”

“A hero. Like Wonder Woman?”

Martha smiles. “If that’s your inspiration, yes. Like Wonder Woman.”

“She’s supercool. And no one knows her identity, and she doesn’t wear a mask.”

Martha is silent for a moment and then she says. “You know what you need?”

“What?”

“A costume. A nice costume. With a cape.”

“You think that’ll be enough?”

Martha nods. “It’s the power of illusion. Stick to the costume, act like a hero and people will leave the real you alone. The glasses will do the rest. Trust me.”

“I do.”

“Come on, let me get your measurements now. Do you have a tape?”

 

***

 

At around 3 pm Kara and Kal-El start groaning that they’re starving. Martha had tried to stall the actual eating part for some reason, often looking towards the door nervously, but eventually the infamous Kryptonian appetite wins. They all help bring out the food to the table. And as per tradition Jonathan is on turkey-carving duty.

There’s everything Kara had hoped for. Buttery mashed potatoes, roast potatoes, cranberry sauce, minty peas, sesame carrots…

She and Kal-El start filling up their plates when Martha and Jonathan both clap their hands to get their attention.

“Children!” Martha says. “Put your hands down.”

Kara and Kal-El pout. Cat, who is sitting across from her, mouths the words ‘Every fucking year’ and shakes her head. Kara looks at the food longingly and feels her mouth water.

Jonathan clears his throat and starts. “We are here today to give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. I am thankful for the gift of my family. I am thankful for my health and the health of everyone I love. For this food that my beautiful wife has prepared with all her love. And I am thankful to be here today, with all of you.”

“That was beautiful, darling,” Martha says, squeezing his hand. “I am thankful to be able to see my children grow into beautiful people, with such amazing and powerful gifts. I am thankful that they’re safe and well, even though Kara has left us now and I can’t protect her anymore. She has become a beautiful woman and I am so proud of her. And my little Clark, who is not so little anymore. I am proud and thankful for all of you,” she says, wiping a tear off her face.

Kara smiles at her and then says, “I am thankful for everything that life has given me. A loving family. An amazing friend. This perfect little house. And this food. I am so so thankful for all this food.”

They all laugh. Then Kal-El says, “I am thankful for being here, for playing Sonic with Cat and for the comics she’s going to lend me…”

“Wait, what?” Cat says.

“Aaaaand for all this food. Can we eat now?”

“No, honey, it’s Cat’s turn,” Martha says.

Cat smiles and takes a deep breath. “Well, first of all I’m thankful for Kara. I don’t know what I would have done if we had never met all those years ago. And I’m thankful for my job, even though it’s not ideal. And for this apartment because I share it with the best person I know. And I should stop now or this is going to get way too touchy feely for my liking.”

Kara blushes and looks down.

“So, we can eat now?” Ka-El says.

“Yes, stuff yourselves,” Jonathan says.

Kara quickly piles up her plate with everything she sees. She even gets the brussels sprouts, because she knows Martha’s cooking can do no wrong. Her cousin does the same. They used to have eating contests to see who could eat more. Kara used to win all the time but recently Kal-El has started giving her a run for her money.

They have barely started eating when there’s a knock at the door.

Cat frowns. “Are we expecting someone?”

Kara shakes her head with her mouth full.

“Well…” Martha says.

They all turn to look at her. “I may have invited someone. I hope you don’t mind, Cat.”

“Me? Why would I-- Oh.”

“I just thought it was only right to have the whole family together.”

Kara gasps and looks at Cat. Cat closes her eyes and sighs.

Martha hurries up the door and a second later Katherine Grant appears in their living room.

She drops her coat and bag on the couch and says, “You wouldn’t believe the traffic today. It was absolutely awful. I had to stand on the street for almost thirty minutes before I could find a free cab. I honestly don’t understand all this fuss to sit around a table and eat a disgusting, tasteless bird.”

“It’s great to see you too, Mother,” Cat says.

“Kitty, darling, I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner, I had a last minute deadline I absolutely couldn’t miss. And then Anne Tyler called me to thank me about the gift I sent for her birthday last month. I thought she never received it, but it turns out it had just been delayed and she loves it! So we started talking about her family and her new book and I just lost track of time. But here I am,” she says, spreading her arms theatrically.

“How wonderful,” Cat says.

“Hi Ms. Grant, it’s lovely to see you,” Kara says, standing up.

“Kiera, darling, hi.”

“It’s  _ Kara _ , mother,” Cat says, enunciating her name as if she was talking to an annoying five year old. “You’ve known her for ten years, you’d think you would have learned her name by now.”

“Yes, well.  _ Kara _ . How are you?”

“I’m fine, Ms. Grant, thanks.” Kara knows it’s better to keep the conversation with Cat’s mother to a minimum and so she does.

“Why don’t you sit down, Katherine,” Jonathan says, “we’ve only just started eating. Clark, go grab another chair for Ms. Grant.”

Kal-El comes back so quickly that Cat’s mother doesn’t even realize he’s gone before he’s back. She just blinks and sits down at the table, beside Cat.

“Turkey?” Jonathan says.

“Um. No thanks. I’ll have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc if you don’t mind. I had a quick snack at home and I’m not hungry yet.”

“We have bubbly wine, Ms. Grant. But no Sauvignon, I’m afraid,” Kara says.

“Oh. No, it’s OK. I’ll be fine. You go on eating, don’t mind me.”

“Oh-kay,” Cat whispers. “This is not awkward at all.”

“So, Katherine, have you been in Cat’s and Kara’s new apartment before? It’s just so lovely and cozy, isn’t it?” Martha says.

“No, my daughter never bothered to invite me. I can see why. It’s definitely, um, cozy,” she says, looking around.

Cat looks ahead and narrows her eyes, breathing hard.

“Is this all you can afford with your job these days, Kitty? I knew times were hard, but this is quite below your standards.”

“Well, clearly it isn’t. I happen to like it very much, in fact.”

“And it’s only ten minutes from the Daily Planet!” Kara says, cheerfully.

“Oh right, of course, that’s where you’re interning, isn’t it, Kitty? I’m surprised Mr. White hasn’t gotten rid of you, yet. His temper is legendary, even in literary circles. You must be really good at… whatever you’re doing. Sending faxes, making coffee?”

“Mother, I am a journalist. That’s what I do there. I write.”

“And she’s been put in charge of a whole section now,” Kara says.

Cat looks up sharply at Kara and flashes her one of her murderous looks. Kara gulps. Why doesn’t she just keep her mouth shut?

“Oh, have you? How marvelous. What section? Do tell.”

Cat mumbles something while taking a mouthful of turkey.

“I didn’t quite catch that, darling.”

“The gossip column,” she says, under her breath.

“I’m sorry,” her mother snorts. “I must have heard wrong. I thought you said the gossip column?”

“You heard right,” she says, dropping her fork and cleaning her mouth with her napkin.

“Oh,” she says, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh my,” she snickers. And then the snicker becomes a cackle and then the cackle a full-on laughter. “Oh dear Lord, Kitty, are you serious?”

“Mother, please stop,” Cat says.

Everyone else has stopped eating and they’re looking at the scene, horrified. Cat’s mother can’t seem to contain her laughter, so Kara decides to intervene.

“She happens to be very good at it.”

“Good at it? How hard can it be? Honestly, Kitty, is this what I paid your college fees for? For you to write gossip at the Daily Planet?”

“First of all, I am still paying off my  _ own _ student loan. And second of all… no. There is no second. Just shut up.”

“And… and second of all, you should just read one of her pieces, because they’re excellent,” Kara continues.

“Oh, please, what would you know about the written word, Kiera? All you know how to do is paint those cute little pictures to sell on the streets.”

“OK, that’s enough!” Cat says, standing up. “You’re going.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard right. I need you to go. Now.”

Cat’s mother looks at her stunned.

“I would be very  _ thankful _ if you could leave my house right now,” Cat says slowly.

No one speaks. They are all petrified in their seats, watching the drama unfold before their eyes.

“Well, I never…” Cat’s mother says, standing up.

She goes up to Martha and Jonathan and says, “It was nice to see you again, anyway. I can only apologize for my daughter’s lack of hospitality.” They barely smile at her, looking completely mortified.

“Bye, mother!” Cat says.

No one gets up from their seat. Cat’s mother grabs her coat and her bag from the couch and leaves, closing the door behind her.

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Kal-El says.

“I am so, so sorry, dear, I had no idea things had gotten so bad between you too,” Martha says.

“No, it’s OK. You couldn’t know. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Cat gets up and leaves the room.

Kara sighs “I’m just going to check on her, I’ll be right back,” she says while leaving the table to follow her.

She finds her sitting on her bed, clenching her fists and holding her back straight.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t cry this time,” she says, when Kara comes in.

“It’s okay to cry,” Kara says, sitting beside her.

Cat shakes her head. “I don’t want to give her that power over me.”

“She did say some pretty hurtful things.”

Cat looks up and bites her bottom lip. “No, it’s my fault. I know she’s like this. She’s always been like this. And yet, somehow I always hope she’d be different. That one day she’d wake up and I’d suddenly be enough for her. But no matter what I do, how hard I try, I’m never enough.”

“Cat. Listen to me. You _ are _ enough. You are more than enough. You’re extra enough.”

Cat chuckles sadly and one single tear escapes from her eyes. “Oh, fuck,” she says, wiping it with her hand.

Kara stands up all of a sudden and offers her a hand. “OK, come on.”

Cat shakes her head. “I’m not ready to go back out.”

“I don’t want to go back either. Come on, get up.”

Cat frowns but she takes Kara’s hand and lets herself be pulled up.

“I think you need a little change of scenery,” Kara says, opening the window.

“What? Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Don’t make me drag you.”

“It’s freezing out.”

“Then grab a blanket.”

“Someone might see you.”

“Everyone’s too busy stuffing their mouths to take their eyes off their plates, let alone look out the window. You’ve got no excuse.”

“Oh sweet Jesus,” Cat says, but she does take a blanket from her wardrobe. Then Kara goes up to her and sweeps her up. “We haven’t done this since high school graduation,” Cat says, smiling at her.

“I know. It’s about damn time, right? Hold tight.” And then she’s out the window. She flies slowly up, careful not to freak Cat out, like the last time, and then she lands softly on the roof. It’s one of those flat concrete roofs, with hardly anything there, except for some water tanks and a washing line.

“You can let go now,” she says softly to Cat, who has squeezed her eyes shut and is holding on to Kara’s neck for dear life.

Kara puts her down and they sit side by side on the wall, dangling their legs. Cat wrapped in her blanket and Kara holding her waist, keeping her safe.

“This is beautiful,” Cat says. “This city is beautiful.”

“Yes. I wish I could fly you over it.”

“Ha ha. I don’t. This is enough for me.”

“Not even when I have learned properly?”

“Hmm. Maybe,” she says, smiling.

They sit there in silence for a while. Then Cat says, “You know, up here all our problems don’t seem as important anymore. They just seem… little.”

“Yeah.”

“Like those tiny cars down there,” she points.

“You know it’s all bullshit, right? What your mother said. You shouldn’t believe a word of it. I don’t know why she is the way she is, but you are worth so much.”

Cat purses her lips. “I used to be jealous of your family, you know?”

“I know.”

“Even though I knew they weren’t your real family. Sometimes I wished my mother was dead so you could have all adopted me.”

“Don’t say that.”

Cat shrugs. “I’m not an angsty teen anymore. But at the time, it seemed like a great idea,” she chuckles. Then she shivers. “It’s getting chilly here.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yeah, my hands are cold. Should have brought gloves.”

“Here, give them to me.”

Cat looks at her sideways. “What are you going to do?”

“Just a little trick I learned.”

“You know I happen to love my hands very much. They’re beautifully shaped and, most importantly, I need them for work.”

“Just give them here. Look.” She cradles Cat’s hands in hers and then brings them slowly up. She concentrates and then a feeble ray of warm blue light comes out of her eyes and illuminates Cat’s hands.

“Oh”, Cat says. “Neat.” She rubs her hands under the ray and smiles at Kara. “Thank you.”

“That’s nothing. It’s just something I learned in my spare time.”

“No, I mean, thank you. For being here for me.”

“Where would I be?”

Cat shrugs. “I don’t know. Sometimes I do wonder why you even stick around. I’m not the easiest person to be friends with.”

“Who says I like easy?”

Cat raises her eyebrows and tilts her head. “So you’re my friend because I make your life hard?”

“I’m your friend because I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t your friend and I wouldn’t be myself without you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. I just like hearing you say that.”

“Fishing for compliments now, are we?”

“Totally. I think I need to fish more.”

“OK. Well, I think you’re super smart. And funny. And can make a mean spaghetti carbonara. And your fashion sense is amazing. And you kick ass at video games. And you’re really good at being bossy and getting stuff done. And you’re going to be an amazing, famous journalist and people are going to be jealous of me because I know you. And you’re so pretty you could be in the movies.”

Cat laughs. “You know, I’m almost not sorry that my mother showed up to ruin Thanksgiving.”

Kara shrugs. “It’s only the truth.”

“Come here,” Cat says, and she wraps her arms around her, squeezing her tight.

“Do you think you can bring me back now,” she says, when she lets go. “I think we’ve defied the laws of gravity enough for one night.”

“Of course.” She scoops her up and they land in Cat’s bedroom again.

“You think you’re ready to go back out there?” Kara asks.

“Oh, God, yes. I’m starving.”

“Me too.”


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets her superhero suit and Cat meets a new reporter at work and she’s not happy about it.

She’s on the living room floor, doing push ups, wearing a tank top and shorts, when she hears Cat’s bedroom door open. She keeps going, expecting Cat to pass by to have breakfast in the kitchen. A second later she sees out of the corner of her eye Cat’s bare feet by the living room door. She does a few more push ups and then she stops, confused, because Cat hasn’t moved from her spot and it appears like she’s staring at her.

“Something wrong?” she asks, blowing a strand of hair off her face.

“Um,” Cat says, looking adorably sleepy and all flushed for some reason. “What are you doing?”

“Push ups?”

“Why? Do you even need to do them?”

“Well. Not exactly. But it feels good. I’m restless,” she says, sitting up and crossing her legs. “My costume will be arriving soon. Martha sent it by courier.”

Kara looks at her a bit more and then says, “Are you sure you’re OK? Are you sick? You’re all…”

Cat swallows visibly and shakes her head. “No, it’s just… it’s very early and I haven’t had coffee yet.”

“Is the heating on too high? I can’t feel it, but I can turn it down if…”

“I’m fine! Relax, will ya? I just need, um,” she scratches the back of her head, “coffee.”

“Oh-kay,” she says. Then she springs up and follows her into the kitchen. “I can make you pancakes!”

“I don’t have time for pancakes. Angry White wants us all there early for some stupid editorial meeting or whatever.”

“Oh, exciting. You’re now included in the team.”

“Yuppy doo,” says Cat, placing the coffee filter on the brewer.

“You’re not in a good mood this morning.”

“When am I ever in a good mood in the morning?”

“Good point.”

“So. New costume, huh?” she says.

“Yeah. I’m really excited.”

“Does it mean you’re going to start flying around saving people?”

“I guess.”

“You’re going to need a name. A hero name.”

“That’s weird. I haven’t even done anything yet. I’m kinda nervous about that, actually. Martha and Jonathan seem convinced I’ll be the next big hope for Metropolis and I’m not really sure I’m such a big deal, you know?”

“Kara. You can fly. You could move this whole building to a different neighborhood if you wanted. You are the very definition of a big deal.”

“I’m just feeling the pressure. It feels like all I know how to do right now is painting pretty pictures to sell on the streets.”

“Stop that right now, you dumbass. You’re amazing and the world is going to love you. And now I gotta go.” She hops off her stool and pours her coffee in her travel mug.

“Good luck with your meeting thing,” Kara says.

“Thanks. Good luck with your costume thing,” Cat says back.

 

***

 

“Tell me you’re home, I need moral support. You won’t believe what… Oh.” Cat closes the front door and looks at Kara.

“Please don’t laugh.”

Cat shakes her head and stifles a snort. “I’m not.”

“Stop it!”

Cat tries to stop herself from laughing, covers her mouth with her hand, and fails miserably.

“No, this is great, Kara,” she says in between fits of laughter, “I really needed something more ridiculous to focus on than my professional life.”

Kara is standing in their living room, her arms crossed over her chest, wearing her brand new suit. It has a cape and it fits her perfectly from the top to her waist. But the skirt would have been appropriate for an Irish Catholic girls school uniform.

“I mean. I like the material. It’s from Krypton, you know. It’s made from a blanket I had with me in my pod.”

“Right,” Cat nods, smirking.

“That means it’s also bullet- and fireproof.”

“Uh-uh. Amazing.”

“And look”, she says uncrossing her arms and pointing at her chest. “This is the coat of arms of the House of El.”

“The S?”

“It’s not an S. It’s Kryptonian for ‘hope’. She really thought this through.”

“Except about how you’re supposed to be able to fly in that thing, not inflate like a balloon in the wind.”

“Right,” she says, hanging her head in shame.

“I might be able to do something about it.”

Kara snaps her head up. “Really?”

“Sure. How do you think all my clothes fit perfectly on me. You don’t think it’s by magic, do you?”

“I never even thought about that.”

“Of course you didn’t. Fashion is obviously not high up on your list of priorities. I can’t do anything about the garish colors but…”

“Hey!”

“...but we can work on the length and flair of that skirt. Let me get my sewing kit.”

Once Cat has her kit, she kneels in front of her with a pin in her mouth and then lifts the hem of the skirt up high.

“How’s that?” she asks.

“Um. Maybe a little lower?”

“Here?” she says, lowering the hem a bit.

“A bit more?”

“Kara, honey. This isn’t Smallville High.”

“I know but…”

“And you want to show off those legs. I mean, look at you.”

Kara feels the blush creep up on her neck and pulls the skirt down self-consciously. “I just don’t want people to focus on my legs.”

“Well, take it this way. If they focus on your legs, they won’t focus on your real identity.”

“That’s a good point,” she says. “But just a tiny less short.”

“OK, that’s it,” Cat says lowering it another inch. “I’m not conceding more than this. Like this, or you’re on your own.”

“Fine. I like it actually.”

“Great. Take it off.”

“Wh--what? Here?”

“Whatever, Kara. Just give it to me. I’ll get my sewing machine out.”

Kara runs to her room and less than two seconds later she’s back wearing her tracksuit bottoms and an old t-shirt. She hands the suit to Cat who starts working on it on her desk in her room.

Kara looks at her standing by the door.

“So, bad day at the office?”

Cat groans and rolls her eyes. “The worst. Angry White introduced us all to this new reporter. Lois fucking Lane.”

“What’s so bad about her?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She is smart, beautiful, younger than me and she’s already been appointed investigative reporter. She’s not even interning. He actually read us one of her articles aloud to show us how great she is.”

“And how was it?”

“Amazing,” Cat says. “I hate her.”

Kara chuckles. “And have you talked to her at all? She might be nice?”

“Yes. I have. It was unavoidable, really.”

“And?”

“She’s great, OK? She’s perfect. But why am I not allowed to hate her? Why do I have to like her straight away just because she’s going to be the star of the Daily Planet and she hasn’t even started yet and everyone loves her and she’s probably going to win the Pulitzer and the Nobel Prize and gonna be the first fucking female president…”

“Whoa. Slow down there. Does my skirt really need another round of stitches?”

Cat stops the machine and drops her shoulders. “Sorry. No. It’s done.” She hands it over to Kara and then says, “It’s just… you work your ass off to make a name for yourself, you suck it up to all the important people, you work for nothing, you make coffees and answer the phones, you write stupid gossip articles and you strive to make them funny and smart and entertaining. And then one day someone shows up and steps over you as if none of this hard work mattered and snatches the job out of your hands with a smile on her face.”

Kara sighs. “Yeah. It sucks. You’re right. But it still doesn’t mean you can’t be a reporter too? If you want to? I believe you can be anything you want, if you put your mind to it.”

Cat shrugs. “On any other day I’d agree with you. Right now I just want to punch a wall.”

“Hey. You can punch me? I haven’t been your punching bag in while.”

Cat smiles. “Hm. Try on your new and improved suit and I might take you up on your offer.”

Kara changes in her room in a heartbeat and shows up at Cat’s door with her hands on her hips.

Cat nods approvingly.

And then Kara invites Cat over with her hand.

“Come on, Cat. Show me what you’ve got.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I have created a [Pinterest mood board](https://www.pinterest.com/stellapiumata/roommate-au) for these two for my own amusement and inspiration. Feel free to take a look :)


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat goes out on a date and Supergirl makes her first appearance

It’s December and the Christmas art market has started, which means now Kara is on the street all day, every day, until Christmas Eve. She actually likes it. People are more cheerful, they want to share their thoughts on buying gifts, they want recommendations, and she’s happy to help them, tries to find something for everyone, even if it’s just a small Christmas card.

And she gets to wear her fluffy hat, gloves and scarf. Not that she needs them, but they put her in the mood, make her feel like it’s really Christmas. All she needs to do now is decorate her own apartment. She hasn’t had time yet and she knows it’s up to her. If she leaves it to Cat they’ll end up with a tiny aseptic plastic tree that won’t leave any needles on the floor, but it also won’t smell of real Christmas. For now all she has are the fairy lights of the art market.

She has just finished selling a small print of one of her Kryptonian Metropolises to a couple of teenagers when she sees a smiling Cat, wrapped in a soft grey cloak and wearing a woolly hat and gloves of the same color, holding a steaming cup of coffee out to her.

"Hey gorgeous,” she says.

Kara’s eyes widen. “Is that for me? Pumpkin spice latte?”

Cat nods, looking really pleased with herself.

“You are a real angel ascended from heaven, do you know that?” she says, holding out her hands.

“Nah. Just the very best friend in the world.”

“No kidding. So, did you just come by to brighten my day with coffee?”

“That, and to introduce you to Jason.” Cat takes some guy’s hand and pulls him closer. Kara hadn’t even noticed he was standing beside her.

“Jason, this is my dear friend Kara.”

Kara stands there holding her coffee with both hands, looking at this random guy and blinking. 

“Nice to meet you, Kara. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he says, offering his hand. 

She takes it and says, “I can’t say the same for you, but nice to meet you too.”

He laughs nervously. She looks at this Jason guy, instinctively trying to find something wrong with him. As if the shape of his face could tell her if he’s a jerk who’s going to break Cat’s heart or not. But he just looks like your average, boring, good-looking white guy and honestly she can’t tell him apart from all the other boring, good-looking guys who came before him. And, as with all of them, all she can think is that Cat could do so much better.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be home tonight. Dinner and a movie. So don’t wait up.”

“Oh, great. Have fun then.”

Cat lets go of his hand and leans in to whispers into Kara’s ear. “I’ll tell you all about him later.”

Kara forces a smile. “I can’t wait.”

She watches them leave and she has to put her cup down lest she squash it. It’s not that she’s not happy for Cat. She is, really, deep down. She doesn’t want her to be alone forever. But these relationships never end well, and it’s always left to her to pick up the pieces. Whether it’s because she dumps them or because they dump her, it doesn’t matter. The result is always the same. And she hates it.

 

***

 

She’s at home munching on breakfast cereal sprawled on the couch watching TV, flicking idly through the channels, when she sees the local news. It’s a fire. A whole building is aflame and it looks like the firefighters are losing the battle. She doesn’t stop to think. She changes into her new suit and darts out the window. She’s there in less than a minute. She doesn’t have time to survey the damage or think about strategies. She flings herself into the fire and starts pulling out as many people as possible. Thankfully it’s evening, so the office building is not nearly as full as it could have been, but it’s falling apart and parts of it are collapsing to the ground. She doesn’t have much time. She’s not aware of people taking photographs of her flying around, or of TV cameras trying to capture her heroics. She’s completely in the moment, focused on the task. She has just finished saving the last two people, leaving them beside an ambulance, when she looks around her and she sees Cat, on the pavement, behind the ambulance. She’s just standing there, her hand covering her mouth, looking both terrified and in complete awe. She’s shivering and she’s covered in soot and she definitely doesn’t see the burning bit of metal that is falling from the building, about to hit her. Kara is there in a split second, she scoops Cat up and she flies away as fast as she possibly can. She flies until she’s away from crowds and smoke and falling debris. And Cat holds on tight to her, coughing and shaking. She lands in a back alley and puts her down. Cat leans on the wall and Kara looks at her, unsure whether to unleash the anger that she feels or reserve it for later, when they’re both calmer.

“What the hell Cat?” Now it is then.

Cat looks up and for once is speechless. She just bites her upper lip and rubs her arms.

“You could have died there!” she shouts.

Cat shakes her head and leans on the wall behind her. 

“I can’t be worried about you when I’m trying to save the city. You were lucky this time but…” 

And then she sees Cat sliding down the wall to sit on the ground and she knows that she needs to shut up. Because no matter how angry and scared Kara is, Cat Grant is sitting on the ground hugging her knees in a dirty alley which means now is not the time to lash out at her. So she goes to sit down beside her, mimicking her pose, and just waits. 

“I just wanted to be there. To see you,” Cat says, finally.

Kara looks at her and sighs. She rubs her forehead and says, “Weren’t you supposed to be on your date with whats-his-name?”

“Yes. Well. I was. And then I saw you on TV and realized you were only two blocks away and I ran.”

“You left him there?”

Cat scrunches up her nose. “I did. God, he’s gonna be so mad.”

Kara feels a lot of the tension ebb away. “Well, that’s something at least.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Never mind. Come on, let’s get you up and away from here,” Kara says, standing up and offering a hand to her. 

Cat takes it and then starts dusting herself off. 

“Hey, do you have your camera with you?” Kara asks.

“Yes, I always do. It’s in my bag. Why?”

“Well, if you’re going to be in the news, you might as well get something out of it.”

“What, you’re not mad at me, anymore?”

Kara shrugs. “What happened happened. No reason to waste a precious opportunity for you to be a reporter.”

“I’m listening.”

“How about I, like, slowly fly away and you snap one. You think Perry White would like that?”

She sees Cat brimming with excitement and she knows she just said exactly the right thing. “You’re a genius and I love you.”

“But don’t make a habit of this. Next time, I want you to be safe, away from danger, OK?”

“Yes, boss.”

Kara beams at her, turns around and reaches for the sky. 


	8. Eight

“Honey, I’m hooooome,” Cat says. “And I bring treats!”

Kara jumps off the kitchen stool where she was distractedly sketching something and grabs her copy of the Daily Planet. The picture that Cat took is on the front page under the heading “Mystery Supergirl saves hundreds”.

She’s been dying to see Cat all day. At the art market she had been paranoid that people would recognize her so she had kept her hair inside her hat and never looked anyone in the eye, which hadn’t been good for business. But now all she wants to do is talk to Cat.

“We made it to the front page!” she says, literally jumping up and down with excitement, holding the paper.

Cat takes off her coat, letting it drop to the floor and joins Kara in the jumping. “I know!”

“I’m a superhero!”

“And I’m a reporter!”

“We rock!”

“We do. Which is why I have brought champagne and chocolate to celebrate.”

“Real champagne?”

“Damn right. Real reporters and superheroes don’t deserve anything less.”

They sit together in the kitchen and toast to their success.

“So. 'Supergirl', huh?” Kara says, popping a chocolate candy into her mouth.

“What, you don’t like it?”

“No, no. It’s just… I don’t know. I kinda thought it’d be something like Amazing Woman. Or Incredible Woman.”

“The world already has a Wonder Woman. You want to be your own hero, Kara.”

“You came up with it, didn’t you?”

Cat smirks. “You’ve always been my super girl. And the S thing helps. Anyway, Perry White loved it, which is what counts. You should have seen his face when I showed him the photo. I thought he was going to kiss me.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, I know. I just told him that I wanted full control of the main article and my name printed at the top of it. Of course Lois tried to steal the job from me, claimed she’d already written something. But the boss wanted a first-hand account so... what can you do?” she shrugs. “And even then, I couldn’t get her off my back. Kept asking all sorts of questions, what it felt like to fly, how you looked like up close. I swear, I thought she was going to ask me how good you smell. If I didn’t know she wanted to beat me I’d think she has a crush on you.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” Kara laughs nervously. “I’ve never even met her.”

“Oh sweet baby Kara. You really have no idea, do you? Anyway, enough about stupid Lois. I bet you haven’t even looked at the rest of the paper.”

“Why? Should I?”

Cat just raises an eyebrow, so Kara grabs the paper and flips through the pages until she gets almost at the end of it. It’s on the Events page. Half its space is taken over by a feature article on Metropolis’s emerging artist Kara Kent. There’s even a small photo of her behind her stall at the Christmas art market. 

“No way,” Kara says.

Cat just looks at her, more smug than ever.

“This… Cat. Oh, Rao, this is amazing.” She feels tears welling up, because this is too much. “It’s even better than making the front page” she says, shaking her head. “What have I done to deserve you?”

“Ah, pff,” Cat says, shrugging. “That’s nothing. I just saw a chance and I took it. But you, you’re freaking Supergirl, Kara. You’re our new hero.”

Kara takes a deep breath. “Wow. It did feel amazing. Saving all those people. Using my powers for good. I’m not saying I wish for another tragedy, but I am so ready for it.”

Cat laughs. “Oh and you know who’s also a fan of yours? Jason.”

“Who now?”

“My date? The guy I stood up to witness your first superhero appearance?”

“Oh, that Jason. Right. He still in the picture?”

“Apparently. He’s a local news reporter for the Planet. That’s how we met. He came up to me today and wanted to know everything about the new hero, and wasn’t mad at all that I ditched him. Isn’t it sweet?”

“Yeah. Adorable,” Kara says flatly.

Cat doesn’t seem to notice Kara’s lack of enthusiasm. “So, anyway, I told him how you were the most perfect hero, scooping me up out of danger and all. But he was mostly impressed by the photo I took. So thank you, again,” she says, beaming.

Kara presses her lips together. “Great. I’m so glad I could help.”

“And then he asked me out again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Like, tonight.”

“Tonight?”

Cat nods. “But I told him I had to check with you first.”

Kara scoffs. “What? Why?”

“You know why! This is your day. I should be with you, if you want me to.”

Kara purses her lips, unsure how to feel about this. “And what did you tell him? That I’m your jealous girlfriend?”

Cat pushes her shoulder. “No, you ass. I told him that it was our weekly night in and that we usually eat pizza and watch movies.”

“Which it is.”

“Yeah. So, what do you think?”

Kara knows that she only needs to ask and Cat would stay. Because that’s how Cat is. She would put their friendship before anything else. And she also knows that she would love to ask her to stay. To curl up on the couch, watch a silly romantic comedy, make popcorn. But she also knows that Cat needs a life outside of Kara. And she can’t be selfish. She needs to be the good friend, the one who sits at home while the other goes out on dates with boys and has a great time without her. The one who will be there when the other comes home, to listen to all the details, to be supportive and happy for her. She can do it. She owes it to Cat.

“I think you should go,” Kara says, sighing.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. He seems like a lovely guy.”

Cat scrunches up her nose and smiles. “I know.”

Kara looks at her friend. At her glowing eyes and her big smile and she can’t find it in herself to resent her for it. Because It’s worth seeing her like this. So happy and hopeful and giddy. She just hopes she won’t have to regret it, because if this guy ends up hurting Cat, she doesn’t know if she can restrain herself from hurting him back.

“So, help me choose what to wear?” Cat asks.

“Sure.”

“I reserve the right to have the final say, though.”

“Of course.”


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas special y'all :)
> 
> Featuring: excessive Christmas decorations, a road trip across the country, cold bedrooms and snuggles.

“What the hell?”

Kara lifts her head up to see Cat step into the living room and smiles. She had gotten up early and decided she needed to do something about the lack of Christmas spirit in the house. She had retrieved the Christmas decoration box from the closet and used every single piece of decoration in it. Once she was done with it, she had cut out silver and gold stars and stuck them to all of their windows with tape. And now she’s sitting on the floor wearing a Santa hat surrounded by red and green paper triangles which she’s lacing together with ribbon to make festive bunting. There’s glittery tinsel and multicolored fairy lights everywhere, candy cones hanging from all the windows and she’s even decorated their house plants with plastic baubles. The only thing missing is the actual Christmas tree.

“Good morning to you!” Kara says.

Cat frowns. “Am I still asleep? Is this my subconscious’ not-so-subtle way to remind me that I haven’t bought you a Christmas present yet? ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’m more than happy to go back to bed and forget this ever happened.”

Kara keeps smiling. “You know, you’re so cute with your bed hair. It’s all…”

“Cute is not an adjective I aspire to be associated with.”

“Whoa. Such big words so early in the morning. And before coffee. I’m impressed.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Cat says as she makes her way through the living room.

“And cranky too. That’s even cuter.”

“I feel like I’m going to trip over one of Santa’s little elves on my way to the kitchen. It’s ridiculous.”

Kara just keeps smiling and starts humming to the tune of “Santa Claus is coming to town,” bobbing her head and working on her bunting.

She doesn’t see Cat’s disgusted face but she knows it’s there.

“What’s with all this annoying chirpiness, anyway. Is it just the Christmas spirit? I mean, I know you love it, but this is way over-the-top cheerful.”

“I just love Christmas,” Kara shrugs

“Yeah, I just said that.”

“Aaaaand I’ve also run out of paintings and prints and anything to sell because your piece has done wonders for business. And now I have enough money to pay for last month’s rent and the next and the one after!”

“Are you serious?”

“Look around you. Does it look like I am not serious?”

“I’d rather not answer that.”

“I am super serious. I can’t actually open the stall today, I have nothing left to sell! I had to send people to the gallery to buy my stuff there, and now they’ve run out too. It’s nuts! And guess what, I’ve had requests for private lessons. There’s actually people who trust me enough to let me teach them art. For money.”

“That’s… amazing.”

“I know right? Hence the extra chirpiness.”  

“OK. Let me just have my coffee and I’ll congratulate you with the right amount of enthusiasm. I’m not equipped yet.”

“Got it.” 

A short while later, Cat comes back to the living room, carrying two steaming cups.

“Here,” she says to Kara, sitting on the floor beside her.

Kara sniffs it and her heart starts beating a little bit faster. “Is this… Is this hot chocolate caramel? With cream?”

Cat smirks. “Just wanted to see if you could get even happier. Turns out you can,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee.

Kara tastes her chocolate and closes her eyes. “Hmmm, so good,” she says. She opens her eyes and smiles at Cat. “And you know what would make me even more happy?”

Cat licks her lips and clears her throat. “Um. What?”

“If we went to buy a Christmas tree and then spent the day decorating it.”

Cat’s shoulders drop. “I knew there’d be a catch.”

“We can’t not have a Christmas tree.”

“Didn’t you say you ran out of paintings to sell? Shouldn’t you be, like, painting?”  
  
“Yeah, but I also said I made enough money to pay rent for the next two months. Come on! Unless you made plans to spend your Sunday with local news guy.”

“His name is Jason.”

“Whatever.”

“And no, I don’t have plans. We’re taking it slow.”

“Great! So it’s a date then! And we could make sugar cookies later.”

“All right, don’t push it.”

 

***

 

They do end up baking sugar cookies together. Right after they finish decorating the tree. Because they’re both craving sugar and it turns out they have all the ingredients and Kara is just very convincing today. Except “together” is a misleading term which seems to suggest an equal division of labour. In their case it means Cat having to show Kara the basics, and then Kara happily taking a step back to observe and take notes and ending up sketching Cat while she’s wearing her pink apron and has flour specks on her nose and reddened cheeks instead. Cat doesn’t say anything. She seems completely focused on the task, but every now and then she looks at Kara sideways, and Kara is not sure if she’s pleased to be her model or quietly annoyed that she’s being left to do all the work alone. Except Cat is never one to be quiet when she wants to complain so Kara feels pretty safe on her stool, just looking at her bake.   

“You know it’d be easier if you just took a picture,” she says, finally, without looking at her, as she places the cookie dough wrapped in film in the fridge.

“I know, but I like the challenge. Capturing the moment with my own hands. Why, do you mind?”

Cat shakes her head and wipes her hands on her apron. She tucks her hair behind one ear and smiles. “No. I like it.”

“Good. ‘Cause I was thinking, I need a subject for my new series. And since we live together, and, you know, you’re always around…”

“I’m convenient?”

“Well, no, that’s not what I meant. Just, that it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle for you. You don’t need to do anything, really. Just be OK with me looking at you intensely every now and then while I sketch you.”

“That… doesn’t sound too, um, unpleasant.”

“Exactly. That was my point. So we’re good then?”

“I suppose. Do I get royalties?”

Kara narrows her eyes. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“What? Muses don’t get paid for their fundamental contribution to the Arts?”

Kara rolls her eyes. “I could pay you for your modeling work?”

“Kara. I’m teasing. Sketch me as much as you want. Profit from my undeniably flawless features. Mother nature didn’t charge when it granted them to me after all.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Kara puts the sketchbook down and goes to grab the mixing bowl.

“Not a chance,” Cat says grabbing it first. “No cookie dough for you, Miss I-can’t-be-bothered-to-actually-help-I’d-rather-sit-on-my-ass-and-draw.”

Kara pouts. “You said you liked it.”

“I never said it meant sharing the mixing bowl.”

“Pleeeease?”

“OK, fine, you can have the spoon.”

Kara claps her hands happily and grabs it, while Cat takes a spatula and hugs the bowl possessively, scraping off the rest of the dough.

“So, you know how I’m kinda loaded now?” Kara says, as she finishes licking her spoon.

“So I hear.”

“And Christmas is in two weeks?”

“Hu-huh. Wanna blow everything in Vegas?”

“What? No!”

“Wanna buy me a car?”

“OK, I’m not _that_ loaded. But I do have enough to pay for a road trip to Smallville.”

“Oh, that’s what this is about.”

“Come on, it will be fun!”

“You said that the last time your folks were here.”

“Yeah, and it was. OK, bar a minor incident with your mother. But Martha is not going to make that mistake again, you can be sure of that. Do you really want to stay here, for Christmas?”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“We could fly back and be home in time for New Year’s, if you want.”

“What about your Supergirl duties? Are you just going to leave the city alone for Christmas?”

“Cat, it’s only for a couple of days. And there are people in Smallville too that might need saving.”

“Oh yeah, because Supergirl going around saving people in Kara Kent’s hometown at Christmas, exactly when Kara happens to be there is so stealthy.”

“Not everyone is as smart as you. I’m sure it’ll be fine, if it comes to that.”

Cat still looks displeased so Kara sighs. “OK. Look, I’m going. If you want to stay here on your own, go ahead. I really need to return the truck to Jonathan anyway.”

“That’s mean. I thought you were in a good mood.”

Kara takes a deep breath and tries hard to keep her cool. “Just come with me. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. I can drive all the way, you know I don’t get tired.”

“Ha ha, not a chance. I’m driving.”

“Deal. You’re driving. We’re going then.”

Cat purses her lips. “You know, people are terrified of me at work. Older women know they have to watch their back. Grown men step away when I walk through. Why is it that I can never say no to you”?

Kara squeezes in her shoulders. “‘Cause I’m irresistible?”

“I hate you.”

 

***

 

They leave early on the morning of the 22nd. It’s a long 2-days drive and they need the head start. They have packed everything, including all the presents for the Kents. They already have exchanged theirs. Cat had gotten her an amazing 120-colored-pencil-set case, which must have cost her half her wage probably and over which Kara had drooled for the rest of the day. Kara had gotten Cat a whole reporter hamper. A new camera case, camera film, a parker pen, a moleskine notepad and the black leather bag Cat had been lusting over for a month. Cat had been speechless and a bit embarrassed she had only gotten her one single present, but Kara thinks that by now she has probably managed to convince her it was more than enough, judging by the amount of time she’s been caught just looking at it, stroking the pencils lovingly.

And now they’re finally on their way. Kara checks that her Christmas mixtape is on the dashboard, along with the usual car music they listen to. They have stocked up on M&Ms, assorted candy, chips, sugary drinks, water, and they have filled the thermos with hot coffee.

“Do we have everything?” Kara asks.

“Have you taken pillows and blankets?”

“Why? We’re not driving through the night, are we?”

“No, but you’d regret not having them when it starts getting cold and dark, trust me.”

“You are wise. What about the road map?”

“Got it here.”

“Alright then. Let’s go. You sure you want to drive?”  
  
“Gimme the keys.”

“OK, here you go. You know I have a licence too, right?”

“Yes, and how many times have you actually used it?”

“It’s not that hard.”

Cat doesn’t answer. She just grabs her brand new bag and is out the door. Kara follows her.

“You’re only doing the first stretch, you know that, right?”

“Get in, loser,” Cat says already at the wheel.

Kara sits in the passenger seat and puts on her mixtape. “Last Christmas” starts playing. She stretches happily and says, “OK, we can go now.”

They’re not even on the motorway yet when Kara sheds her coat and her sweater, pulls the window all the way down and leans out, savouring the fresh air.

“Kara Zor-El Kent, get your ass back inside,” Cat says.

Kara just leans out even more, pushes herself out with her arms, holding the car door from the outside and letting her hair flap in the wind, laughing.

“Wheeeeee!”

“Kara, it’s fucking freezing.”

“I can’t hear you. The wind is too loud!”

“Fucking four-year-old,” she mutters.

“Hey!” Kara says, sitting back down.

“Oh, you heard that now.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m plenty fun. But not when I’m freezing my ass off driving.”

“It’s not that cold.”

“Says the invulnerable Kryptonian who can actually freeze things with her breath.”

“Fair point,” she says rolling up the window. “So, how long till that diner with the divine donuts.”

“You’re the navigator, you tell me.”

Kara unfolds the map and starts making notes of all the essential pit stops. The divine donuts, the incredible sundaes, the to-die-for burgers, the sinful tacos. It’s a food-heaven trail that she had carefully committed to memory when they first did the trip in reverse. She had looked forward to these stops almost as much as to the Christmas holiday itself.

“OK, it’s coming up in about one hour. Any special requests yourself?”

“I’d be happy to just make it there in one piece.”

“You’re a barrel of laughs, aren’t you?”

“Well, unless you can find me a museum of journalism, or something.”

“That is an excellent idea. I’ll ask my tourist guide.” Kara rummages in her backpack and takes out her Rough Guide to the USA. She has owned one copy ever since she can remember and she always buys the new edition as soon as it’s out.

“No, no museums of journalism. Damn it. They should totally open one. And you should be in it, one day.”

Cat turns to look at her and smiles fondly. “OK, what if we stop in Washington and visit the Smithsonian museums?”

Kara drops her book on her legs. “Are you serious? Would you do that?”

Cat shrugs. “Sure.”

“You know that there’s at least 11 of them in Washington alone, right?”

“Yeah, I know. My mother made me visit them all when I was 9.”

“Oh, so you’ve already been?”

“Yeah, but I was with mother. Let’s just pick one and leave the rest to next time. We can’t stay all day if we want to get to Kansas by Christmas.”

“Cat, I’ve always wanted to go there! I’m so excited. Best Christmas ever.”

Cat smiles and looks ahead.

 

***

 

They make it to the Kent’s farm a little after dark the next day, tired, cranky and stiff. Cat had let Kara drive for parts of the way and had occupied herself by taking snapshots of Kara and anything else she deemed interesting. By the time they got to Kansas she had almost run out of film. They had played every word game imaginable, they had sang along to their tapes and had made up songs with words taken from road signs and stores. They had stopped at every single diner and food truck Kara recognised, and some she didn’t just because they looked promising. And they had stocked up on delicatessen to bring as presents. And now they are totally ready for anything else that doesn’t involve a road, an engine or 1980s Christmas music. Specifically, Kara is looking forward to Martha’s famous mulled wine, her favourite fireplace spot on the rocking chair and her cozy care bear slippers.

She stops the car in the yard and steps out. She breathes in the cold air. It smells of proper winter and of home. Burning wood, wet grass, hay and dung. It has been raining, the ground is soft and muddy. She doesn’t mind getting her own shoes and jeans dirty but she hurries to the other side of the car to warn Cat, who was about to step into a treacherous puddle.

“Here,” she says, offering her arms to Cat. “I’ll carry you to the porch.”

Cat laughs. “How gallant. Why don’t you just get me your rain boots from the trunk instead?”

“Oh yeah, that would do too.” She trots to the trunk and looks for the boots. They’re wedged in the left corner, buried under their bags, presents and coats. As she carries them to Cat, she sees the light of the porch turn on and a second later she hears Kal-El calling out to her.

“You’re here!” he shouts and basically flies to them, he’s so fast. Kara and Cat hug him and a minute later, Martha and Jonathan appear on the porch, too.

“Come in, come in,” Martha calls out. “It’s chilly out.”

“Oh, it’s so good to be home,” Kara says, taking in all the familiar smells as she goes in.

“Merry Christmas, Martha. Jonathan,” Cat says, politely. She is standing in the hallway, barely moving, holding on to her bag, smiling quietly, and Kara thinks that Cat hasn’t changed much since she used to come visit her and have sleepovers in high school. It would always take her a while before she could relax in a foreign environment, even if it was the Kent’s farm. She knows Cat would much rather stay in the comfort of her own home, without having to make polite conversation with her adoptive parents, and she knows she has forced her into this, so she feels extra responsible for her well-being here.

“So!” she says to Cat, “why don’t you just take a seat in the living room and I’ll get all the bags and things into the house. It won’t take a minute.”  
  
 She doesn’t give Cat time to reply. She superspeeds out of the house and starts bringing their stuff in, while Kal-El tries his best to keep up with her.

“Wow, Kal---Clark. You’ve really improved,” Kara says to him, when they’re finished.

“I know, right? I almost beat you!”

“Not quite. But keep at it.”

They all settle in the living room, around the fire. Kara tells them all about Supergirl, because that’s all they want to hear at first. How much she loves the suit, how good it feels to help people and give back to society. Since her first rescue, she’s been helping as much as she can, with robberies and car accidents and even the occasional suicide attempts, which are the worst but also the most rewarding. She tells them about how she’s started going out as Supergirl almost every night, just to patrol and Cat jumps in to say that the city absolutely adores her and can’t get enough of her.

Jonathan and Martha tell them all about the farm, how a new calf was born just a couple of days before, how it’s been raining nonstop for almost a week and how it looks like the river might overflow, but mostly they tell her how much they have missed her, how much the farm is not the same without her. Kal-El fills them in with all his latest school news, how he had to drop out of the track team because he can’t pretend to be normal anymore, how he’s been impressing all the girls with his diving skills, how he got an A in his latest English essay and how his teacher encouraged him to join the school newspaper team.

“Oh, you’re a reporter now,” Cat says. “Impressive.” At which he blushes and stammers something about him not being as impressive as her.

“And what about Santa. Do you know what he might bring you this year?”

“Santa?” Kal-El scoffs. “I’m not a baby anymore, Kara, I know he doesn’t exist.” 

Kara looks horrified. “Wh--WHAT? Who… how…” 

“Relax, honey,” Jonathan says. “He’s known for a while now. He’s fine.” 

“Yeah, no thanks to you guys. Peter McKay and his gang are still making fun of me because of that.” 

“OK, buddy, you and I need to have a nice long chat about it,” Kara says, standing up. 

“What, like, now?”

“Yes, now. Come on,” she says. “Sorry, guys, we’ll be back in a bit. We’re just going for a stroll out.”

“But it’s almost dark,” Martha protests.

“It’s fine, Ma. She needs to do this,” Kal-El says, rolling his eyes.

When they’re outside, they go around the house and take the path towards the woods.

“So, why is this so important to you? It’s only a story.”

“No, it’s not only a story. Kal-El, I just want to make sure… I mean. You’re really OK about this, yeah?” 

“Kara, you’re being weird. I’m 12, I’m not supposed to believe in Santa Claus anymore.”

Kara sighs. “OK. Fine. But the thing is, when I first arrived here, and you were a tiny baby, I didn’t know much about this planet, except what I learned on the pod, and I felt lonely and scared and I missed my family and my world very much. So when I first heard about Santa Claus, this wonderful man who can fly and is fast enough to bring presents to all the children on the planet in one night… well, I thought he was one of ours. I thought he was Kryptonian. I was so convinced of this I firmly believed he’d come see me, one day. But he never did. At first I thought it was because he didn’t know I existed, so one year I left a message for him in the field. A banner this big,” she says opening her arms wide.

“What did it say?” 

“It said ‘Santa, I’m like you, and I’m here. Come see me.’ Something like that?”

Kal-El laughs. “That’s just dumb”

“Hey. I was desperate, OK? Anyway, it didn’t work. And I stopped believing in him after that.”

“How old were you?”

“15.”

“Whoa. Nobody had told you before?”

“Of course they did. But I refused to believe them. They didn’t know what I knew. But I had to give up on that theory when he didn’t show up that year. And I felt so… lost. I realised for the first time how utterly alone I was, aside from you.”

“Sounds horrible,” Kal-El says, taking her hand.

“I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going through what I went through, you know?”

Kal-El smiles. “I’m OK, really. I don’t feel so alone. I have Ma and Pa, and I have you and Cat, and there’s this really cool girl on the newspaper team…”

“Oh, yeah? You’ll have to tell me all about her later.”

“I will.”

“Anyway, shortly after that, I discovered the Fortress of Solitude, where I learned more about our origins, our powers, our history, and that helped a lot… there’s even a hologram of my mother Alura there. I’m sure you can activate one for your parents too. I’ll bring you up there, one day. As soon as you’re old enough to fly all the way to the Arctic.”

“I’m old enough! Let’s go now!”

“No, now we’re going back inside and we’re going to have dinner.”

Kal-El whines for a bit longer while they walk back and Kara lets him. She’s just so relieved Kal-El seems to be doing so much better than she was at his age. He seems so well-adjusted, like he belongs. On a very basic level she envies him. She’ll always be a displaced alien who lost a whole planet, while he is basically just a human being with super powers. But on a deeper level, this gives her a sense of security. Like she doesn’t need to worry about him. He’s going to be just fine.

Back inside, they have dinner together, drink mulled wine and doze around the fire, until both Kara and Cat declare defeat and go to bed exhausted. Martha has prepared her old bedroom for Kara and the guest room for Cat, both with fresh sheets and comfy blankets and they both only have the strength to brush their teeth and collapse in their rooms.

She feels like she’s barely fallen asleep when she’s woken up by the bedroom door opening. She opens her eyes in the dark and waits. She can feel Cat standing by the entrance, looking at her bed, probably unsure whether to wake her or not.

“It’s OK, I’m awake,” Kara says.

Cat exhales. “Oh, thank God. Do you mind if… I mean, nothing wrong with my bed, but it’s so freaking cold.” 

Kara turns the bedside lamp on and pushes herself up to look at her. She’s standing there with her arms wrapped around herself, her feet rubbing each other, in her pink and white jammies, shivering. Kara feels her heart clench in her chest. 

“Of course. Come in here,” she says, pulling the covers down for her and scooting over to the side. It’s one of those double beds so they can both fit in comfortably without having to squeeze in. 

“Thanks. It’s just, you’re always such a furnace, I don’t even know why you bother using covers,” Cat says, climbing in and turning her back to Kara.

“It’s for comfort,” Kara says. “Here, give me your hands.” Kara reaches around Cat and takes both her hands in hers. They’re freezing. “Why didn’t you come in earlier?”  
  
“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Since when do you worry about that?”

“Oh, this is lovely,” Cat says and pushes back a little to get even more body warmth from her, sighing happily. And Kara gets a sudden unwanted flashback of a few unsettling dreams she’s had after Thanksgiving. Of Cat in various states of undress, visiting her at night, looking at her, smiling at her, touching her hair, her cheeks. She had dismissed those dreams as a natural way of her mind of dealing with accidently seeing Cat in her underwear that time, and thought nothing of it. But she had been relieved when they had stopped. And now it’s as if she’s back in those dreams for a moment. She feels weird, guilty, as if she’s being disrespectful to Cat who has simply asked to be kept warm. So she turns the lamp off and wills herself to ignore those images and just concentrate on holding Cat and warming her up. Which doesn’t really help, but it’s all she has.

“Kara?”

“Hmm?” 

“I’m glad I’m here.”

Kara doesn’t know if she means here in Kansas, here in her adoptive parents' home or just here in her bed. And Kara is glad too, of all of these things, so she just says, “Me too.”

Eventually she falls asleep, hoping against hope that the weird dreams will leave her alone tonight.

 

***

 

The soft morning light coming through the thin curtains wakes her. It must be really early because she can’t hear anyone around the house yet. Cat is still fast asleep beside her, breathing slowly. Kara lies there for a while, enjoying the comfort of her bed and of Cat’s soft body pressed against hers. They haven’t moved much during the night, but Cat has turned on her back at some point and now her arm is squashed by her side, while the other arm is sprawled on her pillow beside her face. Her hair is half covering her face, so Kara lifts herself up slowly and gently pushes her hair back, careful not to wake her. Cat just mumbles something and turns her ahead away from the window. Kara really doesn’t want to get out of bed yet, so she leans over the side and reaches for her bag. She takes out her sketchbook, her pencil and starts drawing. She draws her room, her window, her guitar case still standing beside her wardrobe. And she sketches Cat, because she’s there and because she looks so peaceful and delicate in the morning light. She thinks that she already looks like a painting and she’ll never be able to do her justice, but she tries anyway. After a while Cat stirs and opens her eyes, one by one.

“Hmm. So bright,” she squints.

“Happy Christmas Eve,” Kara says softly.

Cat turns and smiles while she stretches. “You too. God, I’ve slept like a queen.”  
  
“Yeah, same.”  
  
“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Just drawing.”

Cat pulls herself up quickly. “Wait, were you drawing me while I was asleep? What a creep,” she says, lightly shoving her shoulder.

“Am not. I was just… I mean, you were so...” Kara starts.

Cat leans towards her ear, puts a hand on her shoulder and says, “Joking. I love it.”

And her voice is so low and her breath is so warm and Kara can feel it tickling her ear and it makes her shiver all over.

“Anyway, we should get up and make breakfast. How do you feel about French toast?” Kara says.

“You know how I feel about French toast.”

“Great! Let’s go then.”

It turns out Martha had already set the table and had gone to pick fresh eggs for them and Jonathan had gone to milk the cows so they’d have fresh milk. The only one still asleep is Kal-El. They wake him up and then they have breakfast. French toast, and scrambled eggs and bacon with maple syrup and Martha has to kick them out of the kitchen after a while lest they deplete the pantry.

They spend the rest of the day lounging. With the occasional walk along the fields, although Cat is not a big fan of the smell or the mud so they mostly stay in. They play board games and Kara plays the guitar just for Cat in her room, because she’s out of practice and doesn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Kal-El and Cat convinces her to bring the guitar back with them because she says she loves her voice so of course Kara says she will.

They wait until midnight to open the presents under the tree and Kal-El is delighted to get a collector’s volume of the X-Men from Cat. He’s more confused and a little creeped out by the other book, the Complete Maus by Art Spiegelman, but Cat assures him it’s required reading which is good enough for him. He’s even more delighted when he sees the Game Boy Kara got him. Martha tuts but the look of pure joy on her cousin’s little face is worth it.

From the Kents Kara and Cat get a hand-knitted sweater and socks and a box of assorted chocolates each. Kara gives them one of her paintings, a Kryptonian Smallville, while Cat gives them a framed copy of the Daily Planet, the one with Supergirl on the front page, which makes everyone squee in awe.

 

***

 

On the night of the 25th, when they’re both in bed in Kara’s room, Cat asks Kara about their flight back home.

“What flight?”

“Um. Our flight back to Metropolis?”

Kara looks at her confused.

“The one you said you were going to book?” Cat continues, the pitch of her voice going up a little.

“I never said I booked a flight. I said we were going to _fly_ home.”

Cat blinks. “Kara. Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“It’s so much faster! And we don’t even have a lot of stuff to carry! We can be home in one hour.”  
  
“I-- I can’t believe this. You’re-- Jesus, Kara, you can’t do this. I am not going to be carried across the country like a fucking--”

“Cat. Cat, stop panicking. I’m joking.”

“Oh. Oh, thank fuck” Cat says, dropping her head back. “Don’t ever do that to me again, I swear to God, I’ve just lost 5 years of my life.”

“But it’s true it would be so much faster. And cheaper.”

“And colder.”

“I’d keep you warm.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can barely survive a farm bed in Kansas.”

“It’s lucky you have me then”, Kara says.

“It is. So what time are we flying and from where?”

“You know, I’m not your personal assistant. What if I hadn’t booked it? What if I had forgotten?”

 “You never forget anything. Stop being an asshole and just tell me.”

“OK, fine. We’re flying back from Wichita at 11 in the morning. Then from Chicago to Metropolis. It really is such a hassle. And I hate flying on airplanes. They feel so unsafe.”

“Tough shit,” Cat says, patting her pillow.

Kara lies down and tucks both of them in, then scoots over Cat and wraps her arms around her, taking her hand in hers like she has done every time since their first night here.

“Cat?”

“Hmm?”

“Merry Christmas.”  
  
Cat squeezes her hands. “Merry Christmas to you too, Supergirl.”


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s trouble in paradise at New Year’s Eve

"So, you're the infamous roommate, huh? We've all been dying to meet you," someone asks Kara.

"Um. Infamous?"

It's New Year's Eve and Cat has dragged her to her work night-out in some bar downtown. She didn't really have other plans and had been happy to be Cat's plus one, except she wasn't really. Cat had quickly and unceremoniously introduced her to everyone (in the “Guys, this is my roommate Kara. Everyone, this is Kara” kind of way) and then had disappeared somewhere with that Jason guy and now Kara is stuck sitting at a table trying to make polite conversation with Cat's colleagues. She's not a natural conversationalist at the best of times, but tonight Kara seems to be especially tongue-tied, what with all these reporters looking at her like she's a rare specimen who belongs in a museum. As if living with Cat Grant and surviving to tell the tale was an extraordinary achievement.

"Don't mind Mark, darling. He's a complete ass," the young woman sitting next to her says. "Hi, I'm Lois, by the way."

"Lois? As in Lois Lane?"

"The very one."

"I've heard a lot about you. Nice to meet you," she says, offering her hand.

"Oh, have you, now?" she says, taking her hand and shaking it. "I can't imagine it was all good things, if it came from Cat," Lois says.

"Um, well, no, I mean..."

"It's OK, sweetie, you don't have to apologize for her."

"No, really. She thinks you're smart and, um, that you're a very talented writer."

"Hmm, of course she does," Lois says, taking a sip of her cocktail. "And I bet she wouldn't hesitate to push me under a bus because of that."

"What? No, she's not like that at all. You're..."

"Oh, enough about the ice queen of gossip," Lois interrupts. "I want to know all about you, Kara," she says, scooting closer and twirling her hair with one finger. "What do you do for a living? Modelling? Acting?"

Kara is not sure what is going on here exactly, and she's not sure she likes it, either. She feels cornered. She's not used to this much attention from strangers, and this girl doesn't seem to know the meaning of personal space. She looks around. The guy who had asked her about being Cat's roommate is sitting across from her now, and doesn't seem to be interested in her anymore. There are people all around them but they're not paying attention to them either. She quickly searches for Cat and she finally sees her at the bar, saying something in Jason's ear. She feels that familiar tug at her heart anytime she looks at Cat from afar in a crowd. That need to pull her close, to feel soothed by her presence. Sometimes she thinks that Cat can sense when Kara feels like this. Sometimes she'd materialize next to her, put a hand on her shoulder, say something funny, or simply smile at her, and that's all Kara would need to feel grounded again. But tonight she feels so disconnected from Cat it almost hurts. As if she's stuck in another dimension, completely out of reach. And Kara hates herself for feeling this way, for being so dependent on Cat and not being able to enjoy a simple conversation with a stranger. A stranger who might actually be a new friend if she let her.

Kara looks at Lois, forces herself to smile and says, "I'm an artist. I paint."

"Oh, of course. I remember Cat did a little piece on you, didn't she?"

"She did," Kara says proudly. And that simple thought spreads warmth all over her chest and cheeks.

"How fascinating. I've always wanted to learn how to paint. It's so... romantic."

"Um, well. I never looked at it that way."

"Do you do private lessons?" Lois says.

Kara wishes she could read people better. She's not sure this undoubtedly pretty woman actually wants her to teach how to paint or if she's just openly flirting with her. Or both. So Kara does the only thing that her panicking mind allows her to do. She backpedals.

"I don't know. I'd have to ask Cat, see what she thinks about having people around the house..."

"Ugh, really? Is she that controlling?"

"No, no, it's not like that."

"You need to put your foot down with that one, Kara, or she'll just walk all over you, trust me."

Kara feels her heart starting to pump faster in her chest. "No. You have it all wrong," she says, louder than she meant. The other people sitting around the table turn to look at her, and Lois looks taken aback but Kara is past caring. She's sick of listening to these people talking about Cat as if she was the Wicked Witch of the West.

"You don't know Cat at all!" she continues. "Cat is the most considerate, caring, kind, supportive friend I have ever known. You have _no_ idea. She might act all aloof and rude, sometimes, but that's all it is. An act! Cat Grant is a wonderful, wonderful human being and you should all feel lucky to have her around." She stops to take a breath and sees that in the heat of the moment she has stood up without even realizing it. She looks around her and sees that the whole room is staring at her, stunned.

Including Cat.

Kara realizes she's still breathing heavily and her cheeks feel like they're on fire, so she makes an effort to regain her composure. She clears her throat, smooths down her dress, and doesn't look at anyone, especially not at Cat. She goes to sit down, to try and go on with the night, pretend nothing happened, make more small talk. But she sees Cat approaching her table slowly, the crowd parting to let her through, clearly unable to stop watching the drama unfold before their eyes.

"Kara," Cat says, her tone so sharp it could cut through ice. "May I have a word with you? In private?"

She phrases it like a polite request but Kara knows that no one in their right mind would even contemplate defying her now. She knows she's in trouble. She has no idea why, but she's definitely in trouble.

"Of course. Let me get my purse." Kara glances towards Lois who quirks her eyebrows and mouths "good luck."

Cat doesn't wait for her. She pointedly turns her back to her and makes for the back door. Kara can only follow her.

When they're outside Cat closes the door, looks around presumably to check they're alone and then crosses her arms.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" she says.

It's chilly outside, Kara can see Cat's warm breath forming puffs of white vapor, can see goosebumps on her bare arms, and her first instinct is to go back inside and bring her her coat, but she knows Cat won't take it well if she leaves now.

"What do you mean?"

Cat looks up and laughs sarcastically. "What do I-- Kara, are you shitting me? I heard your little Disney princess speech. Everyone did."

"So? I wasn't the one badmouthing you. They were! They all think you're some kind of hideous monster..."

"Yes! I know! Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, that's what I want them to think?"

Kara frowns. "Wh-- but why?"

"You've single-handedly undone months of hard work in one night. Now they'll all think I'm a phony. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Kara blinks. "All I did is tell your co-workers how great you are. Stood up for you."

Cat doesn't look like she's listening at all. "And to Lois of all people. You went and spilled the beans to freaking Lois. Of all the backstabbing, treacherous, hurtful things you could have done, this is the absolute worst."

"Have you actually gone insane? Are you drunk? Please tell me you're drunk."

"Just tell me this, Kara. How would you feel if I went out there and told everyone you're Supergirl?"

"That is not the same thing and you know it."

"It's _exactly_ the same thing! Don't you realize it? Not everyone can be like you. Not everyone is a walking personification of a fucking ray of sunshine. You have no clue what it's like for me. I worked my ass off to get to this point. To be feared. To be respected. That's _my_ power. And you just took that away from me. With your charming smiles, your cute little ways, and your-- your stupid awkwardness that everyone loves. And you know what? I can't stand it. It's sickening. Sickening. I should have never let you come here."

Kara is floored. She feels deflated, like she she's been punched in the stomach and there's nothing left inside of her. And yet, tears are welling up in her eyes. Not so empty after all.

"I-- I'm just going to get out of here," she says.

She turns around and puts a hand on the door handle.

"No, Kara, stop. Please, I'm--"

Kara wipes a tear off her cheek and turns around. "You know what I think? That maybe you're not a phony at all. Maybe deep down you really are the heartless bitch they all think you are."

***

She goes back inside and heads straight for the main door. Doesn't stop, doesn't let the tears come out yet. Finds the nearest dark alley to change into her suit and shoots up in the air. She flies as fast as she can. Faster than she's ever flown. Doesn't matter where. She just flies. She's in the Arctic before she knows it. She hadn't meant to go there, but it seems only fitting. She finds the Fortress of Solitude and hides there. But she's too restless even for the Fortress. She comes out and flies away again, somewhere even more remote. She stops and lets out a scream so loud she causes an avalanche. She lets herself be buried and then melts it all with her heat vision. And then doesn't stop. She stares and stares until she melts everything around her. Massive chunks of ice turning into lakes around her in seconds. When she feels her heat vision start to weaken, she drops to the ground, exhausted. Then she flies back, slowly. So slowly she fears she won't make it. But she does, eventually. She sees the rooftop of her building and she almost crashes on its concrete floor. The impact actually hurts her legs. She doesn't sit on the edge. She huddles by the side of it, where the wall meets the next building and hugs her knees.

She has no idea what time it is. She knows it's still New Year's Eve at least, because she can hear the faint noise of firecrackers going off in the distance. Too faint for her ears. She can't hear people's laughter in the streets at all. She looks up and sees the stars, but they're just hazy dots in the sky. She can't single any of them out. She looks for Rao, but she can't see it either. Of course. It seems only fitting that the one night she needs the comfort of her own God, he's deserting her. She drops her head on her knees and feels even more lost than before.

She doesn't hear her coming up the stairs, but she hears the metal door creak when she opens it. She looks up and there she is. Cat, standing there, wrapped in her coat, short of breath and flushed, holding something in her gloved hands. A bottle, maybe. Her eyes are too glazed with tears to know for sure. Kara knows she should still feel anger, but she thinks she's poured it all out tonight and has nothing left. No anger, no sadness. Just a dull pain in her chest, her legs, her arms. Everywhere. She wishes she had the strength to fly away again but she knows she doesn't have it in her.

Cat silently sits beside her, mimicking her pose. She nudges her shoulder with hers and says, "There's still a few minutes to midnight. Want to toast with me to the New Year?"

Kara doesn't reply. She just looks ahead, holding her knees even tighter.

"To new beginnings?"

"I'm not ready to talk to you right now."

"OK. I deserve that. No talking." She sees Cat taking out two plastic cups from her coat pocket and then pouring some fizzy drink from her bottle in each of them.

"Here," she says handing one out to her. "No need to talk while you drink."

"Stupid little Disney princesses don't drink, remember?" She looks up and sees Cat wincing at her words.

"You know I didn't mean any of that."

Kara stays silent. Cat sighs and puts the two cups down. "I really didn't. I was a complete asshole. I just--" she shakes her head. "No, there's no excuse. I fucked up, OK? I wish I could say it was the alcohol, but it wasn't. It was all my stupid selfish ego. And I'm sorry. I really am. But I understand if you don't even want to look at me now, so I'll-- I'll just go."

She's about to leave when Kara says, "No. Stay."

"You sure?"

"I'm not ready to talk to you, but I'm not ready for you to leave either."

Cat hesitates for a second and then nods. "OK."

They sit there in silence, Kara looking at the sky, Cat at her own fidgeting feet. And then suddenly the sky explodes with colors and bright lights and loud noises and they both hold their breath looking at it.

Cat turns to her and says, "Happy New Year, Kara." She grabs the two cups and holds one up for her. This time Kara takes it. Cat taps the brim of her cup to hers and says, "Cheers." And Kara drinks the sweet fizzy wine in one gulp. She feels it go straight to her head and it's not an unpleasant sensation. The weird feeling spreads to her chest and legs and she feels light and dizzy and slightly happier than before.

"Hey, I've got our own fireworks here." Cat takes two sparklers out of her pockets, finds a lighter there too, and lights both of them up. She hands one to Kara and holds hers in her gloved hands. She looks at Kara and smiles softly. And the glow of the sparkler on Cat's face and the warmth of the alcohol in Kara's body and the pure magic of the moment makes her feel like they're suspended in time, in one single perfect instant. For a second Kara doesn't think about Cat's hurtful words or what their fight will mean for their friendship. She just looks at Cat and Cat looks at her, and it's enough.

And then the sparklers die out and so does the moment.

Kara puts the stick down. "What's happening to us, Cat?"

Cat shrugs and shakes her head. "I don't know."

"We never fight. We bicker, yes, we disagree, sometimes. But we never do this. Ever."

"We’ve also never lived together. We knew it wasn't going to be easy."

"Do you think that's the problem? We see too much of each other?"

"Maybe?"

"Do you... do you think we should stay away for a while? Take a break?"

Cat doesn't hesitate. "God, no. No. I don't want that at all. Do you?"

Kara thinks about it. "I don't know," she says honestly.

"I see."

"No, I just-- I don't want to ruin this friendship. And we came pretty close tonight. We need to figure this out," Kara says.

"I know. And it's all my fault. I lashed out at you. And the worst part is, I don't even know why I did that. I just felt all this anger... And yes, I was a bit drunk, sure, but..." she shakes her head. "It came out of nowhere."

"No. It's not all your fault. I wish you hadn't said those things, but I see what you mean now. I didn't think about your position at all. I just rushed to your defence without thinking."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm pretty sure they still think I'm a grade A bitch. I dumped Jason tonight. Right after you left."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah. He didn't seem that upset about it either."

"But why? You guys seemed to be going along great."

"Yeah, when I didn't talk too much and just listened to him. Or when I only talked about that time Supergirl rescued me. It seems like it was the only subject matter that kept him interested. It was cute at first, until it wasn't."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Are you? I got the feeling you never really liked the guy. I thought you'd be happy."

"It's not that I didn't like him..."

Cat looks at her skeptically.

"OK, all right, he wasn't exactly my favorite person. But if he made you happy..."

"He didn't. Hence the dumping."

Kara smiles. The first genuine smile since their fight. "What an idiot. Talking about Supergirl when he has you in front of him."

"Well, Supergirl is pretty cool. It's hard to compete."

Kara shrugs. "I don't feel very super tonight. I can't even see Rao anymore."

"What? How is that possible?"

"I don't know. I'm sure it'll be fine in the morning. I must have used my powers too much."

Cat frowns. "What do you mean 'your powers'. What did you do? You've only been away one hour."

"Yeah, well. I was really angry."

Cat scoots closer to her and scoops an arm around Kara's elbow. "I'm so sorry," she murmurs.

"I know. It's fine."

"Is it, really?"

"It will be."

Cat nods. "I hope so."

She rests her head lightly on Kara's shoulder and says, "Is this OK?"

Kara nods and Cat squeezes her arm. "Show me where Rao is again," Cat says.

"I can't see it, I told you."

"Just the general direction."

Kara points with her free arm to some dark patch of sky. "Behind that swirly nebula neither of us can see now. A tiny red dot wrapped in dust."

"I think I can see it."

Kara laughs. "Of course you can."

"No, really. It's the prettiest star in the sky. Red and fierce and powerful. And it's still up there looking out for you. I know it."

And Kara can't believe this woman's capacity to say both the wrong thing and the right thing, at exactly the wrong and the right time, to be hurtful and soothing, harsh and compassionate, all in one single night.  

She puts an arm around Cat's waist and pulls her close.

"So, is there any more of that fizzy stuff?”


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cat pays for her sins and has to be The Mom Friend™
> 
> aka "The Karma is a bitch" episode

_She's back in Argo City, in her family home, she's arguing with a girl who is not Cat but looks exactly like her, she feels like she's been having this argument for days, she's shouting at this girl so hard her throat hurts, there are fireworks exploding outside so loud they make her head pound, she wants to make everything stop but it's as if she's stuck in a loop, forced to keep doing the same thing over and over, shouting, anger, sore throat and headache and then there's a loud crash, glass shards everywhere, a massive green monster shoves its tentacles through the window and grabs the girl and Kara cries out for her, changes into her Supergirl suit and charges at the monster, she tries to throw punches at it but she can barely move her arms, they feel so heavy, like they're stuck in mud and now she is trapped in real mud and she's drowning and drowning and…_

And then she hears her bedroom door open. Someone is here. They've come to save her…

She opens her eyes and sees a hazy, floating being at her door, surrounded by a golden halo.

"Happy New Year's Day!" she says.

Then she floats over to her and says, "I can't believe you're still in bed, it's such a gorgeous day out. And look, I got you coffee and donuts from your favorite-- Oh. Kara? What's wrong? Is it the head?"

"Who are you?" she asks.

The golden being frowns and says "Um. I have no idea what you're saying. Is it Kryptonian?" She crouches down beside her and Kara feels a cool hand on her forehead and it's so refreshing and soothing she feels like melting into it.

"Dear God, Kara, you're burning up."

"Hmm. Hand. Cold. 's nice," she says in English. She feels the hand smoothing her forehead and then something else, warmer and softer - her lips, maybe - light like a feather. "Are you my guardian angel?"

The golden figure removes her lips from her forehead and quirks her eyebrows. "OK, now I know you're delirious. Kara, what's going on? You can't be sick, can you?"

"Did you say donuts?"

The figure smiles. "Yes. Your favorite kind."

"You _are_ an angel."

"Kara, I'm not an angel. I'm just Cat."

"How come you're floating, then?"

The creature puts a hand to her mouth. She looks worried. Angels can't be worried.

"Oh, shit." And they don't swear either. It must really be Cat.

" 's OK, Cat. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Kara. You've got a fever. You're hallucinating. And I can't even bring you to the hospital, can I? Oh God. This is bad. This is really bad."

"It's fine. Look, Imma just get up now and have that donut and..."

"Oh no, you won't. You stay right where you are, miss. OK. Alright. This is what we're going to do. You're going to have breakfast first..."

"Donuts!"

"Yes, donuts. But forget about the coffee, I'll get you some water, OK? Then I'm going to see if I have some Tylenol left. And then I’ll run you a lukewarm bath. That should help bring the temperature down. Also, you're drenched in sweat and it's gross."

"I'm not gross."

"You kinda are. Eat your breakfast and don't leave the bed until I find the Tylenol. Can you do that for me?"

Kara nods.

"Good. I'll be back in a minute," she says, leaving the donut bag on her bed.

Kara pulls the covers down a little to get the paper bag and shivers. She quickly grabs the donuts and pulls the covers all the way up again. She takes one. The chocolate glazed kind, with sprinkled hazelnuts on top. She takes a bite and immediately regrets it. Her throat is so swollen, she can barely chew. But Cat wants her to eat so she makes an effort. She chews slowly, slower than she's ever chewed anything. She takes another bite and then decides she needs a break. She just needs to rest for a bit. With her eyes closed. Eating can wait.

***

"Kara? Kara, wake up."

Floating, non-angel Cat is beside her again, and she's holding out a glass of water and two white things in her hand.

"Have you eaten something?"

"Um. Sure."

Cat takes the paper bag and looks inside. "You've barely even tasted it. Dear God, Kara, you really are sick."

"Throat. Hurts"

Cat sighs. "Well, that'll have to do. Here, drink up. You need lots of fluids. And take these. Just swallow them, OK?"

Kara nods and does as she's told.

"I don't even know if they'll have any effect on you," Cat murmurs. "I wish there was someone I could go to for help. This is insane." She runs a hand over her forehead again. "Anyway, I'll get you some more water and then you'll have that bath."

Kara shakes her head. "Nuh uh. 'is cold."

"I know. But you have to."

Kara shakes her head again.

"Kara, you're having that bath and that's final," Cat says and leaves.

Kara pouts and rolls herself in a blanket burrito.

 

***

 

"It's bath time, sick girl."

Kara groans. She opens one eye and sees Cat standing by her bed and she's stopped floating so that's progress. But her arms are crossed and she's tapping her foot impatiently.

"Come on. Don't make this more difficult than it already is."

Kara groans again but she pulls herself up with some effort. "Ugh. I hate everything."

"I know. I know. But you'll thank me when you're in the bath. Trust me."

"Being human sucks. Would not recommend."

Cat chuckles. "No shit."

Kara leaves the warmth of her covers and whines. "This is the worst thing ever." She tries to get up but stumbles. Her legs feel like jelly. "Whoa. Nope," she says and sits down again.

"All right, come on. Lean on me." Cat wraps her arm around her waist and lifts her up. "Ew, Kara. How much can one person sweat?"

"Sorry."

"Never mind, let's go. The faster you get out of your night clothes the faster you'll start to feel better."

Once they're in the bathroom Cat says, "Now. Here we are. Can I leave you to it? Can you stand?"

"I guess so."

"Great. So, here's your fresh towel. And I got your slippers too. You'll be fine, right? Cool. Just, don't drown." She lets go of her and Kara sways. She puts one arm on the cool wall tiles and shuts her eyes.

"Kara?"

"I-- um, is the room moving or..."

"Oh, good Lord," she hears Cat saying under the breath.

Kara opens her eyes again and pushes herself away from the wall. "No, I-- I'm OK. I got this."

Cat sighs. "No. You don't. Come here."

Cat wraps one arm around Kara's waist again and guides her to the tub. "Sit here. You need to undress and get in before it gets too cold. Can you do that for me?"

Kara looks up at Cat and she hears Cat murmur, "Please say yes."

And her arms feel so heavy and she's shivering and aching everywhere and her head is pounding anytime she moves it and she just wishes she was back in bed but she wills herself to nod and say yes because Cat wants her to and because she doesn't want to cause her any more trouble.

Cat takes a look at her and shakes her head. "You're such a bad liar."  

She runs a hand through her own hair and presses her lips together. "Well. Karma really is a bitch."  

Kara feels Cat's cool fingers pull up the hem of her shirt and she lifts her arm with some effort to help her take it off. She has a tank top underneath, cold and wet on her skin and Cat hesitates. She swallows and sighs heavily before pulling that off too and tossing it aside.

"OK. That's, um... done. Now I need you to stand up."

She takes Kara's hands and lifts her up. Averting her eyes, she turns Kara around, pulls down her PJ pants and gently lifts one foot after the other to remove it completely.

Suddenly the reality of the situation hits her and Kara feels completely exposed. A rush of heat which has nothing to do with the fever runs through her veins and makes her heart pound in panic. She grabs the towel draped over the sink and covers herself. "I-- I can take it from here, thanks."

"Of course. But, first, let me..." She feels Cat's hands on her neck, carefully gathering her long hair and twisting it up in a tight bun. "There. So it won't get wet."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'll be… I’ll be outside, OK?" she says quickly without looking at her. "And... don't forget your-- um, your water. Glass is there. Lots of fluids. Important."

Kara nods. Somehow that sudden rush of fear has given her enough strength to be able to stand on her own without swaying. She's confident she can take a bath without any more help.

After Cat practically runs outside, closing the door behind her, Kara drops the towel back on the sink and puts one foot cautiously inside the foamy water. It's still lukewarm, she knows it, but it sends a shiver up her leg anyway. She plucks up the courage and sticks the other foot in too. Then slowly sits down and hugs her knees. It's actually nice, now that her body has adjusted to the temperature. She rests her head behind her and lets the foam soothe her skin and her soul. Tries not to think about what this means for her, if she'll ever regain her strength, or if she's condemned to eternal weakness, but she can only keep the scary thoughts away for so long. She's never been sick on this planet and she hardly remembers ever being sick on Krypton. She was always so well looked after, pampered even. There was no room for sickness there. And now that her body has turned against her, she is at a complete loss. What a rotten way to start off the year. And she's ruining it for Cat too. What would she have done if Cat wasn't there to look after her? She doesn't want to know. She lets her worried thoughts drift away and she finally relaxes as much as she can.

After a while, she hears a soft knock. "Everything alright in there?" Cat asks from behind the door.

"Yes," she answers. She clears her throat. "I'm still alive. Sort of." Her voice is feeble, her throat so swollen she finds it hard to use it.

"I'm glad. You ready to come out yet?"

"Yep, just give me a minute."

There is a long pause, so long Kara thinks Cat has gone back to whatever she was doing, and then, "Need any help?"

Kara smiles. “I'll be OK."

"Good. good." Kara can clearly hear relief in her voice. "I've changed your sheets. And there's some fresh clothes for you to wear on the bed. Do you need anything else?"

Her powers back. This awful bug to leave her already. To feel like herself again. But she just says, "No, thank you. Don't worry about me."

She hears Cat scoff and walk away.

She really feels much better now. The tablets and the bath must have worked. She's still all stiff and sore and shivery, but at least the room is not spinning anymore and her legs feel stable enough to take her to her bedroom.

Cat hasn't just made her bed. She has tidied up everything, has neatly folded her change of clothes on her bed, and has left a jug of water on her bedside table along with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. She sits on her bed and drinks the orange juice, still wrapped in her soft, fluffy towel. She notices that her blanket is gone, replaced by a lighter throw. She wants to protest. She wants to bury herself under a hundred blankets and sleep until this hell is over, but she also trusts that Cat knows best. So she braces herself and changes into her clean sweatpants and t-shirt and climbs into bed. She pulls the covers tightly over her head and groans. How do humans cope with this on a regular basis?

She hears another soft knock. "Yes?" she says underneath her sheet.

"Are you decent?"

"I'm dying."

Cat opens the door and struts to the bed. "Do not even joke about that, you asshole."

"Sorry," she says, still under the covers.

"I'm worried sick here, you know?"

Kara slowly pulls the covers down and sticks the top of her head out, up to her nose. "I know. But this is dreadful. I hate it."

Cat sits down on the side of the bed and looks truly concerned. "What’s going on, Kara?"

She pulls herself all the way up and leans back on her pillow. "I was hoping you'd tell me. I am not familiar with earthly diseases."

"Yeah, because you're not supposed to. You're the girl of steel, remember?"

"I'm having a hard time now."

"Tell me everything that happened last night, after you left."

"Ugh. Do I have to? My throat hurts."

Cat rolls her eyes. "Fine. I'll make you a cup of hot water with honey and lemon and then we'll talk. For real this time."

True to her words, Cat comes back with a steaming mug after a few minutes. She also has a thermometer. "Here you go. Drink up. And put this under your arm."

Kara does as she's told and then starts talking. She tells her about the Arctic. How her anger made her melt tons of ice with her eyes, letting it all slide over her. How she kept doing it until she almost felt depleted. How she flew back home and almost didn't make it.

When she stops talking, Cat takes a deep breath and exhales. "Wow. The Arctic? You could have died. What the fuck, Kara?"

Kara shrugs. "It's comforting."

"Sometimes I forget you're an alien."

"I never do."

There's an awkward pause when neither of them look at each other. Cat shuffles her feet on the floor. Kara considers apologizing but she doesn't know exactly what she should apologize for, so she keeps her mouth shut.

"Anyway, the thermometer should be ready now," Cat says, when the silence becomes too heavy between them.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that thing." She hands it to Cat, who looks at it and winces.  
"Jesus," she says. "102. I don't even want to know how high it was earlier."

"I feel better now," Kara says hesitantly.

"It's still very high. You need to eat and then take more tablets. I'm making you chicken soup. It's almost done."

Kara smiles. Cat is trying so hard to look after her. "Thank you," she says. She puts her hand over Cat's and squeezes it.

Cat shakes her head. "Don't. I'm the one who got you sick. It's my fault. I'm just trying to undo the damage."

"No, Cat, that's not--"

"Would you have gone and used up all your powers if I hadn't been such a bitch?"

"Used up? What do you mean?"

"Well, it seems kinda obvious, doesn't it? You went all berserk on that glacier and ran out of energy."

"That... does make sense. It did feel like that. I was afraid I couldn't make it back. But if that's the case, I probably only need to wait to be recharged again by the sun.”

Cat quirks her eyebrow. "I’m gonna have to put you outside like a solar panel?"

Kara chuckles. "Kind of, yeah." She expects Cat to say something like "you aliens are weird" again, but she doesn't. She just looks relieved.

"You scared the shit out of me," she says instead.

"I know. I was pretty freaked out myself."

"I mean, I've caught a few nasty bugs in my life but this is a big ass, Godzilla-size flu."

Kara laughs and immediately regrets it. She never realized how many muscles she had in her body until they all started hurting.

"Is that your professional opinion?" she says, when the pain subsides.

"Oh, shut up. You know what I mean. It wasn't... it's not normal. Not unheard of, but still. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you're a pretty delicate flower, Kara Zor-El. You've never been vulnerable to our viruses, which means you've never been exposed to them. It makes sense your immune system wouldn't have a clue how to react. Kind of like when the first settlers came in from the old continent and started decimating the Native Americans with measles."

"Gee, you're such a nerd."

Cat narrows her eyes.

"A very stylish, sophisticated, high class nerd," Kara adds.

Cat rolls her eyes. "I'll go get your soup."

"No, no I can get up..."

Cat turns sharply at her. "You stay where you are. Do not move a muscle. Do you hear me?"

Kara widens her eyes and nods quickly. "Yes, boss."

"Good."

 

***

 

Cat comes back with a tray that smells like heaven. She leaves it on her bed and says, "Do not even think about spilling it. It took me two hours to make."

"Thank you. I don't deserve you."

"Oh, will you stop? I should be the one..." she pauses and exhales. "Never mind. Eat your soup. It's delicious. Then take your medicine."

"OK."

Cat nods and turns to leave, and then stops abruptly in front of the window.

She gasps. "Kara," she says under her breath.

"What is it?"

"Look outside."

Kara stretches her neck, but she can't see anything from where she is. So she moves the tray to the side and gets out of bed. She grabs a light blanket hanging from a chair, puts it around her shoulders and shuffles to join Cat by the window.

The streets are covered in white. Soft, thick, white snow everywhere. Flakes are falling slowly and gently while everything else seems frozen in time.

She snakes an arm around Cat's waist and says, "It's beautiful."

"Yes," Cat whispers, as if not to disturb the quietness of the moment, and pulls the blanket up on her own shoulders.

They stand there for a while, just looking at the snowflakes fall, until Kara feels dizzy and has to lie down again.

"You better heal fast, friend," Cat says, turning away from the window.

"Snowball fight?"

Cat gives her a sideways smirk and nods. "I'm going to kick your ass."

"You wish."


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cat is still making amends.  
> And Lois “The Meddler” Lane drops the L word.

Kara comes back from grocery shopping to find Cat sitting on the couch, with her legs stretched out on the coffee table, a cup of something hot beside her feet, glasses perched on her nose, a notebook on her lap and the tip of a pen in her mouth. So casual and yet so graceful, in her yoga pants and oversize sweater.

"Hey you," Cat says, without taking her eyes off her notebook.

"Hi."

She instantly wishes she could drop everything and start sketching her. Cat's idea of taking pictures instead doesn't seem so bad now. She quickly looks around and sees that, yes, there, on the living room table, is Cat's Polaroid camera. She leaves the plastic bags on the table and snatches the camera. She keeps it behind her back as she stealthily approaches Cat.

 _Click_.

Perfect.

Cat frowns and looks up. "What was that for?"

Kara shrugs and shakes the photograph. "For future reference."

Then she quickly looks down at Cat again. "Uh. Cat? Is that my sweater?"

Cat blinks. She looks down at herself, as if she has no idea what Kara is talking about. "Oh. Yes. It appears so."

"Have you run out of your own things to wear?"

"No. But this one looked more comfortable. Do you mind?" she says dismissively, still chewing on her pen and looking down at her notes.

And Kara doesn't mind. Doesn't mind at all. She should probably feel outraged that Cat had been in her room, gone through her stuff and had taken something without asking. But as she stands there, trying to figure out how she feels about this, she can't find one ounce of anger, or even of slight annoyance in her. She's just surprised. And oddly chuffed. Cat had always scorned her for her fashion sense, or lack thereof, as she'd put it. So the fact that she had purposely chosen to wear something of hers, without any real need as far as she can see, is reason enough to be smug about it. And she does look good in it.

"No. It's just... strange, seeing you wearing it."

"Hmm," is all Cat says in response.

"You can keep it if you want," Kara adds without thinking.

"Really?" Cat says, looking up.

"Yeah. I mean, it's your birthday soon, so..."

Cat smirks. "You're not getting away with it so cheaply. I still want a birthday present."

Kara rolls her eyes. "No, you dummy. I already bought your presents."

Cat eyes widen. "Presents? As in plural?"

"I've already said too much. Anyway, consider this a pre-birthday present."

Cat smiles and wiggles on the couch contentedly. It's amazing how much she resembles her feline namesake sometimes.

“So. New piece?” Kara asks as she goes to unpack her grocery.

“Yes, I'm writing a feature story on that scrawny little one from _Beetlejuice_. She seems to be one of the hottest things at the moment so..."

"Who?"

"She was in _Heathers_ too. Oh, that reminds me. Lame Lane asked about you,” she says, putting her notebook away and folding her legs to the side.

“You mean Lois?”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I? Anyway, she mentioned something about you giving her private art lessons. She wants to know if that’s still on,” she says, looking at her nails.

She sounds calm, relaxed even. Suspiciously so.

“And?” Kara says slowly, going around the couch to face Cat.

“And nothing. I told her I’d let her know after I asked you.”

“You really wouldn’t mind if she came here, in this house, and I gave her private lessons?”

Cat lifts one shoulder. “It’s work, right? And she wants to pay you.”

“You didn’t tell her to, um, get lost?”

Cat snorts. “If I did, I wouldn’t use those words. But no. Why would I?”

“Why would you? Cat, you hate her guts!”

“I do _not_ hate her g--" She takes her glasses off. "Look, if I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t have said so.”

Kara doesn’t know what to think. She is half-convinced that there’s a catch, some trick, a trap. Maybe Cat is testing her, to see what she would do. She sits down on the couch and looks at her warily.

“Are you absolutely, definitely, 100% positive about this?”

Cat rolls her eyes.

“Because I do have quite a lot of people lined up. I’m actually starting tomorrow with the first student and it wouldn’t hurt to say no to her if it makes you uncomfortable or whatever,” Kara continues.

“Kara, I already said…”

“I know what you said,” she interrupts. “But I also know you. And you wouldn’t even think about-- oh.” She stops herself because she is struck by an epiphany. “Oh. Wait a minute. This is about the New Year’s Incident, isn’t it?”

But it’s not a question. It suddenly dawns on her that this is exactly what it is about. Cat still trying to make amends.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“It totally is!”

Cat shakes her head and looks away. “I just don’t think you should pass on this opportunity.”

“It’s Lois freaking Lane.”

“OK. Fine! Yes. It is about that. But so what? She seems to like you and you seemed to get along fine with her before your, um, outburst. And God knows you… we need friends. So why not?”

“We? You want to be friends with her too?”

“Hell, no,” she laughs. “I’ll make sure to be out of the way for the entire duration of your…”

“Lesson.”

“Yes.”

Kara pauses to think about this. So it’s not a test. Cat really is serious. Even if she is doing this because she thinks she still needs to be forgiven, which she doesn’t. But that means she can’t say no, now, can she? She has to do this for Cat. So she’ll stop feeling guilty and they’ll both be able go on with their lives.

“Fine then.”

"Great. I'll tell her tomorrow," Cat says. She leans down to grab her mug and takes a sip.

And that's it. Cat goes back to her article and Kara is left there, to replay their exchange in her head, to make sure she hasn't missed anything. Because what if the catch was so well hidden that she had missed it and failed the test. But no. She is going to give Lois Lane private lessons with Cat's blessing. It is really happening.

 

***

 

It happens only two days later. Lois shows up soon after Cat leaves to "hide in that cute little café around the corner with the heavenly cupcakes." Kara shouldn't feel guilty welcoming Cat's nemesis inside their home but she can't help it. It just feels wrong.

"Wow," is the first thing that Lois says, looking around. "I don't know what I expected. It's..."

Kara holds out her hands to take Lois's coat and waits for her to elaborate.

"Warm. And cozy."

"Were you expecting the Ice Queen palace?"

"Kind of? Well, something less welcoming anyway. But you also live here, so it makes sense."

Kara feels even more uncomfortable than before. "Cat helped decorate it. She's actually the one with the fashion sense, not me."

"Oh, here we go again. Are you sure Cat's not here? You don't want to get in trouble again."

Kara sighs. "So. Can I offer you anything? A cup of coffee, tea..."

"Do you have anything stronger?"

"Um, sure. Is wine OK? I'm sure Cat has some Prosecco left in the fridge."

"That'd be lovely, thanks." Lois grins at her, as if absolutely delighted to be drinking Cat's wine while she's away.

Kara pours the wine for Lois and then adds, "Oh, and can you take off your shoes, please? House rules."

"You mean Cat's rules"

Kara gives her a forced smile. "Hygiene is important."

"Of course," Lois says, taking off her heels and donning their guest slippers.

"So, this is the living room," Kara says handing her the wine, "and this corner here is where I usually work. It’s not ideal, space-wise, but the light is perfect."

"Looks lovely. Nice view, too,” Lois says, glancing through the window overlooking the park, still half-covered in snow.

"OK, are you ready to start?" Kara says, approaching her corner and pulling up the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

Lois takes a sip of her wine and nods. "Hmm. Let's do it."

Kara ignores the obvious flirty tone Lois used and bends her knees to go through her sketching paper on the floor.

She takes a few and places them on the living room table and sits down. "I thought we should start with the basics first. Sketching a real life object. Working on shapes, shading, that kind of thing?"

"Sure. You're the teacher. I trust you." Lois approaches the table and glances over Kara's corner. There's an easel with one of her latest sketches on it. One she is planning on turning into a full painting.

"Is that a drawing of Cat?" Lois asks.

"Um. Yes. That's her."

Lois purses her lips and sits down beside Kara. "Do you draw her often?"

Kara smiles. "Well, yes. I've chosen her as my new project. I'm doing a character study. It's mostly just sketches for now, though."

"I see. Interesting."

Kara scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. "It's just good practice, you know. Sketching real people. It's hard, but I like the challenge."

"Sure, sure," Lois nods and Kara feels uncomfortable again. She feels Lois's scrutinizing eyes on her and squirms in her seat.

"So, I was thinking we could start with..."

"You know Jason has been going around saying that Cat left him because she's a lesbian."

Kara's heart does a backflip in her chest and her cheeks flare up in a matter of seconds. She is glad she's not drinking anything or she would have sputtered all over Lois.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"He says she has a massive crush on you."

Kara laughs nervously and shakes her head. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Lois asks, raising her eyebrows.

"Of course! She's--we're--" she huffs in frustration, lost for words. She's definitely not prepared for this kind of conversation. "Cat is not a--a..."

"Lesbian?"

"Yeah. That. She isn't one."

"It's not a dirty word, you know? You're allowed to say it."

Kara squirms some more and wishes she had been a better friend and called this whole thing off. How she wishes some kind of apocalypse would hit Metropolis right about now so she'd have an excuse to flee this conversation and go save the city.

"Isn't it? Kind of?"

Lois just stares at her, a sly smirk on her face.

"I mean, it's just not... normal. Where I'm from. It's kind of... frowned upon."

"Of course it's frowned upon. This is America. And you're from what, the Bible Belt? But you live in Metropolis now. It's the '90s! I didn't think you'd be so... uptight."

"I'm not uptight!"

Lois just lifts the side of her mouth unimpressed and takes a sip of her wine. "But you think being gay is wrong."

Kara shakes her head. "I just don't ever think about it. It's not... a thing."

"Well, it is. And it's perfectly normal, if you ask me. And fun, too," she says, quirking her eyebrows at Kara.

"Whatever. But you're wrong about Cat."

"I'm not the one saying it. It's Jason, remember? Her ex-boyfriend."

"Exactly! Her ex- _boyfriend_. Who is probably just spreading the rumor to make himself feel better."

Lois nods. "Could be. The male ego is pathetic enough."

Kara exhales in relief. Maybe Lois would let it go now and let her start the actual lesson.

"But how do you explain her dumping him right after she had an intimate exchange with you at New Year's Eve? After you so adamantly defended her honor in front of everyone?"

Or not.

"That is so not what you think."

"Isn't it? It certainly looks that way. Maybe she's just waiting for you to catch up, have you thought about that?"

Kara rolls her eyes. "I think we should start the class."

"I'd investigate it, if I were you."

Kara decides she's done indulging Lois's fantasies and picks up a pencil for her. "Right. Let's start with something simple, shall we?" She picks the apple she had put on the table earlier in preparation for this class and places it in front of Lois.

"An apple? Really?"

"It's not as obvious as you think. I want you to focus on its shape, the texture, the chiaroscuro..."

"The what now?"

"The contrast between light and darkness. The shadows, the way the light hits it... You only have a pencil, so you have to make it clear it's an apple, without using colors."

"Right. Easy peasy."

Kara smiles and hands her the pencil. They start working, Kara giving simple instructions, hovering over her, but letting her make her own mistakes, and Lois being a surprisingly attentive student. She's not a natural, but she is definitely here to learn and to listen, not just to gossip, which is a pleasant surprise.

They are so focused on the work that they almost don't hear the front door opening. Almost. Kara quickly looks at her watch. They have gone overtime without realizing it. She definitely needs to be more careful with her timekeeping.

"Right, our time is up," Kara says getting up, but Lois grabs her arm and pushes her down again.

She puts a finger on her lips, asking her to keep silent. "Follow my lead," she whispers, and Kara doesn't have time to think about what that means, because Lois leans heavily against her and puts a hand over hers.

"I still don't get it," she says loudly. "Can you show me again, please?"

Lois looks at her, batting her eyelashes, so close Kara can feel her warm breath on her cheek. She gulps but doesn't pull away immediately. She glances at Cat out of the corner of her eye and sees that she's standing, frozen, in the far side of the room. And if glares could throw daggers, Kara would have a whole pile at her feet by now and she would have a hard time explaining to Lois why she's not dead. Instead, she goes through a hundred things to say to explain to Cat that "this is not what it looks like." And then she turns to Lois and Lois gives her a smirk and tilts her head in a way that tells her this is exactly what Lois wanted. She has "I told you so" written all over her face. Kara looks at Cat again and this time she does pull away. She gets up and smiles apologetically to Cat, rubbing her hands on her legs, and trying to come up with something to say that won't enrage Cat.

"Working overtime already, huh?" Cat says coldly, beating her to it. "It must have been a hell of a first lesson."

"It was actually," Lois says, standing up. "We didn't even look at the time, right Kara? She's such a good teacher."

Cat glances at Kara with arms crossed and raised eyebrows and then turns to Lois. "Of course she is."

Kara knows what Lois means, she does. But she has also known Cat for long enough to be used to this behavior. Cat's always been possessive of her, especially with people she intensely dislikes. It's only natural for her to be pissed at Lois for being all over Kara. That's just who she is. But it's not something she can explain to Lois.

"Oh-kay. So, see you next week, Lois?" she says, lifting her arm to encourage Lois to leave, hovering on the small of her back, but careful not to touch her.

"I can't wait," she beams. She rummages through her purse until she finds her wallet and then hands the money to Kara, who thanks her and leads her to the door.

Lois turns to give a quick wave to Cat. "Bye, honey."

Cat just looks at her sideways, her eyes showing nothing but contempt. "Oh, are you still here?"

"I love you too," Lois says and blows her a kiss.

Kara opens the door for her and Lois steps out. But before she leaves she grabs Kara's hand, pulls her in and brings her mouth to Kara's ear.

"Investigate," she whispers. And then she's gone.

 

***

 

"Well!" Kara starts as soon as she's closed the door. "That happened."

Cat is scowling even more now. She looks outright disgusted. "Did she just... kiss you on the cheek?"

"Oh. Um. Yes? Maybe? I don't know, she's weird, that one," Kara says, laughing nervously and flapping her arms. She knows she's fumbling, but it's probably her best strategy right now. Act cute and clueless. That normally works.

Cat stares at her for a few long seconds and then decides to let it go. Well. Almost.

"I thought we had a deal," she says, dropping the bag on the couch. "You have your little play date, I stay out of it."

"Play date? It's work! You said so yourself."

Cat just looks up, possibly more annoyed than before. Right. Wrong strategy.

"I'm sorry," Kara says, "I really didn't realize the time. We got talking at the beginning so the actual class started a little later than usual."

"Talking? About what, may I ask?"

"Oh, you know. Stuff."

"Stuff. Wow. Riveting," she deadpans. "I need a drink."

Kara holds her breath when Cat opens the fridge. She hasn't had the time to wash the glass Lois used yet, so the evidence is out there, in plain sight. But Cat just grabs the bottle and fills the glass mindlessly. She takes the glass with her and flops on the couch.

"Want to order Chinese and watch TV?" Kara says, tentatively. "I think that new show, Friends, is on tonight."

Cat shrugs and Kara takes it as a yes.

 

***

 

They finish their noodles and then settle on the couch, sharing a carton of mint chocolate ice cream. Well, Kara is holding the ice cream carton because Cat had said she didn't want any, but Cat keeps stealing the spoon from her hand so Kara counts it as sharing. Neither of them know this new show very well, they don't have much time for TV anymore, but it's easy to follow and it's funny enough, so they keep watching it. And, obviously, it has to be the episode with the Lesbian Couple. Kara had completely forgotten about them. It’s as if the universe is conspiring against her today. She wants to groan, but of course she can't, unless she wants to draw Cat's attention to it, which she really really doesn't. Instead she makes a point of acting cool and casual, stretching her legs in front of her and licking her spoon, while she steals a glance at Cat. She looks for any telltale signs that Cat might be in any way affected by this, but her heart is beating at its natural pattern - the one Kara knows as well as her own - and she looks perfectly calm. Almost bored even. And as the episode unfolds, a new, unsettling thought finds its way into her head. Because this Carol person is pregnant, and the child is Ross's. That doesn't compute. Can she be a lesbian now if she was married to a guy before? Lois didn't mention anything like that. But if this is normal on this planet, it means that what Lois said about Cat isn't so beyond the realm of possibility. The thought sends a new wave of unbidden butterflies into her stomach. It doesn't have to mean what you think it means, she tells herself. Just chill. That's fiction, this is reality. It's completely different. And yet, the thought doesn't leave her alone.

When the episode ends, Cat stretches her arms and grabs the remote to change channels and Kara works up the courage to start the conversation she desperately needs to have.

"So, um. How are things between you and Jason? Have you talked to him since, you know..."

"Not at all. Why?" Cat says, while idly flicking through the channels.

"No reason. Just curious."

Cat nods slowly and leaves the TV on the news.

"It's just..."

"Hmm?"

"Lois told me that Jason has been saying... things. About you." She feels her heart beating like a drum in her ears as she speaks. This shouldn't be so hard, should it?

Cat's forehead furrows. "Things? What things?"

"Like, um. You know, hurtful things. I thought you might have heard them."

Cat gives her a dismissive wave. "Oh, please. They all do that after they're dumped. He's probably been told how I've already replaced him with someone else. So childish."

"You-- you're seeing someone?"

"Oh, yeah. Nothing serious. But we've had lunch a couple of times. He's in IT. Sorry I haven't mentioned him yet. Didn't think you'd be so keen to know."

Kara purses her lips and looks down at her feet. “Right.”

"See? That's what I mean. You’re never exactly enthusiastic when I tell you about these things."

"No! No, it's just-- I was thinking about this... other thing. Nothing to do with IT guy. Sorry."

Cat just nods unimpressed and goes back to watching the news.

And so that's it. Lois's theory debunked, without a doubt, in front of her eyes. She breathes a sigh of relief and lets her shoulders relax, while scraping the last bit of ice cream. It's much easier this way, she tells herself. Less complicated, less confusing. Less... something.

She goes to bed that night still holding on to that feeling of relief. But when she closes her eyes and lets all her daily thoughts float away, she finds that there's still a shadow of a thought, unwilling to leave. A vague sense of loss. Of longing for something that could have been. As if she's just been robbed of a possibility. An idea that had never been hers in the first place. She silently curses herself for being so unreasonable.

It's so much better this way. It has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is curious, the Friends episode they watch is The One with the Dozen Lasagnas, which aired on January 12, 1995.


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Cat's birthday and Kara has PLANS
> 
> In which pancakes are made, presents are given, slow dances are danced and Feelings™ are had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, Cat's birthday was on January 19. Pretend I posted it on time.

She gets up at 5 in the morning. Puts on her softest socks and tiptoes into the kitchen. Takes out flour, eggs, milk, butter and starts working, trying to be as quiet as possible. It’s not easy. She knows Cat is a very light sleeper and she’s not the most skillful cook in the world. But she knows she can do this. She used to make pancakes all the time for the Kents on Sundays when she was still in school. She would make at least two dozens just for herself and for her cousin. She would stack them high and then drizzle a ridiculous amount of syrup on top. She thinks making a pancake birthday cake shouldn’t be too hard, even if she’s never made one before.

She makes the batter, using just a tiny bit of super speed to beat it up, pours the melted butter in and sets it aside to rest. She checks up on Cat, makes sure she’s still breathing deeply, and then starts setting up the kitchen. Doesn’t go too crazy with the decorations. She knows Cat doesn’t like overstated displays of affection. Or of anything really. Just simple hand-painted bunting hanging from the cupboards, a bouquet of freshly blossomed flowers she had hidden in her bedroom, and one of her presents, daintily wrapped, which she places on the table. She has another fifteen minutes or so to spare before she can start making the pancakes, so she grabs her sketchbook and improvises a little cartoon for Cat. She draws a mini version of her, in a big, stylish office, wearing oversized sunglasses and a Chanel bag, holding a copy of a newspaper and shouting orders to a crowd of scared-looking journalists. In a corner she writes, “Make it happen. I know you can.” She considers adding a heart or a smile or something cute, but decides against it. She just writes “Happy birthday, girl,” refrains from adding any exclamation points - she knows how Cat feels about those - and signs it with a simple “K.”

And now for the hard part. She heats up a non-sticky pan, melts some butter and starts pouring in the batter, every now and then checking that Cat is still fast asleep. She knows she doesn’t have much time. Cat wakes up early these days, always wants to be the first one at the paper. So Kara focuses on her task, trying to make perfectly circular pancakes, stacking them in between layers of buttercream and fresh raspberries - Cat’s favorites. She tops it up with maple syrup, frosting and some more raspberries. Floats up to find the birthday candles hidden on top of the cupboards and sticks a single one in the middle. She takes a look at her creation and beams. It’s a little sloppy, a little crooked, but she made it all herself and she’s proud of it. She looks at the clock on the wall. In a minute Cat will wake up. She debates briefly on the best course of action. She’d love to bring it to her and let her have breakfast cake in bed. But she also knows that surprising Cat first thing in the morning is never a good idea, no matter the good intentions. She sets the coffee pot instead. Sits at the kitchen table, rests her chin on her palm and waits.

***

“Oh sweet mother of God,” Cat gasps.

Kara jumps in her seat and her eyes fly open. Damn. Dozing off wasn’t the plan.

“Why are you sitting in the dark? You scared the shit out of-- Oh. Oh my God.” Cat’s eyes quickly scan the room and she slams a hand to her mouth.

““Kara...” she starts, her voice catching in her throat.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Kara says, shaking her head. “That’s the last thing I wanted, I even…”

But she doesn’t get to finish the sentence because Cat flings herself at her and wraps her arms around her neck.

“You’re such an idiot,” Cat says, her mouth buried inside her hair.

A heart is hammering in her ears and she’s not sure if it’s hers or Cat’s. And for a long moment Kara doesn’t move. The hug was so quick and her head is still a little dazed from the unplanned nap. But Cat’s arms are around her and she’s holding her even tighter now, so she slides her hands up Cat’s back and receives the embrace fully.

“You’re welcome,” she says.

Cat disentangles from Kara and immediately eyes the gift on the table. “So… can I open it?” she says, swaying her hips in excitement.

“No! Cake first!” Kara says, with a slight whine in her voice. “Just, give me a second.” She hops off her stool and finds a lighter in one of the drawers. She lights up the single candle and then proceeds to hum the notes to Happy Birthday.

Cat laughs. “No no no. Stop it right there.”

Kara bites her lips and switches to singing the actual song and Cat rolls her eyes, but keeps smiling and lets her finish.

Cat blows out the candle and Kara claps and cheers, which earns her some more eye rolls.

“Okay, okay. Will you let me eat it now? It looks divine”.

“Does it?”

Cat nods slowly. “So very.”

Kara grins and inhales deeply, feeling even more proud of herself then before. “I know, right? I mean. It’s pancakes. But it’s also… cake.” She spreads her arms open. “Genius.”

“Definitely.”

“Oh, and there’s coffee too.”

Cat takes a seat and stretches her arms up. “What have I done to deserve you?”

Kara shrugs while she pours coffee for the both of them. “Oh, I don’t know. Being there for me. Being a wonderful friend. Being you.”

“That was supposed to be a rhetorical question,” Cat says as she stirs sugar in her mug.

“I know. But it’s your birthday, so.”

Cat licks her teaspoon and smiles at Kara and Kara feels her skin flush all of a sudden. She tries to adjust her glasses only to realize she’s not wearing them and clears her throat nervously.

“Thank you. This… all of this. It’s perfect,” Cat says.

Kara purses her lips and looks away. “So. Cake?”

“Yes, please.”

Kara grabs a big knife and turns to Cat. “Half for me and half for you?”

Cat snorts.

“It’s your birthday,” Kara says in a singsong voice.

“Fine. But if I can’t move afterwards you’re gonna have to fly me to work.”

“That would be an honor and a privilege,” says Kara cheerily.

“Yeah. I see how that could have been misinterpreted as an actual invitation. Let me reassure you--”

“Just eat your cake, Cat.”

Unsurprisingly, Kara devours her half in no time, licking the plate afterwards. Cat does her best to do the cake justice, but she soon declares defeat.

“Ugh, my stomach is begging me to stop.”

“Amateur,” Kara says. “Give it here.”

“Like hell.” Cat puts an arm around her plate and pulls it close. “This is going in the fridge. For dessert.”

Kara’s grin is so bright it could probably be seen from space.

“Oh yeah? What’s that gonna be? The Dessert of Losers?” she teases.

Cat narrows her eyes. “I like you better when you’re all sweet and innocent.”

“But you got my joke, right? ‘Cause this was the Breakfast of Champions so yours w--”

Cat smacks her forehead with her palm and shakes her head. Kara sticks her tongue between her teeth and smiles at Cat. She dangles one foot and gently pokes Cat’s leg.

“Anyway. You can open your present now.” She pushes the parcel towards her and hands her the envelope with the handmade card first.

“Wait a minute. I distinctly remember your mentioning the existence of more than one present?”

Kara nods solemnly. “You are quite correct. But good things come to those who wait. Just open the card now.”

Cat opens the envelope and looks at the card. She gasps and stifles her surprise with a hand on her mouth.

“You like?”

Cat nods silently and takes a deep shaky breath. She lowers her hand. “Thank you. I-- I really really love it.” She looks away and quickly wipes her eyes with the tips of her fingers.

Kara rubs the back of her neck and looks down, suddenly unable to process Cat’s reaction.

“Well, that was just a-- a thing I made. That’s the real present.” She swings her legs and points at the wrapped gift.

“Wait, I need to put this somewhere safe.” She gets up and runs out. She comes back a moment later, looking pleased with herself. “I’m going to get it framed today,” she says, and sits down again.

“Come on, open this one, now. You don’t want to be late.”

“Oh, shit, what’s the time?”

“Just open it!” Kara whines.

“Okay, okay.”

Cat unwraps it and looks at it, a little puzzled. “Diplomacy,” she reads. “Hmm. Are you trying to tell me something?”

“No, silly. It’s a board game, kind of like Risk? But much better. Apparently. And we already have Risk, anyway. And the guy who sold it to me said it’s all based on social interactions and interpersonal skills and you have to devise strategies and make alliances and it was J.F.K’s _and_ Isaac Asimov’s favorite game and...”

Cat laughs. “Okay. I love it already.” She rubs her hands. “I can’t wait to kick your sorry ass at this.”

“Hey! I have been known to beat you at Risk.”

Cat tilts her head and quirks her eyebrows. “Really.”

“On at least…” Kara counts on her fingers. “Three occasions.”

Cat laughs. “I was drunk on two of those occasions. And you still struggled.”

“That’s such a lie.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling.”

Kara looks away acting offended and gets up to clear the table. “Don’t you have a world of celebrities to make fun of? Go do that.”

She turns to put the dishes into the sink and freezes when she feels Cat’s arms around her waist, her chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, in her ear, linking her hands on Kara’s stomach. “Everything was wonderful. And I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not,” she says.

Cat pulls her around and looks her in the eyes, her hands still on Kara’s hips.

“You know I am. I can be a real bitch sometimes.”

“Yeah. Well. True,” Kara concedes. “But you’re _my_ bitch.” Kara hears herself and widens her eyes in horror. “I mean…”

Cat stares at her for a long second. She blinks. And then bursts out laughing.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” Kara says, covering her face with both hands and wishing she could sink underground. “I didn’t mean…”

Cat looks up at her and pulls her lips in, trying to keep a straight face.

“It’s OK, sweetie.” She looks at the clock on the wall, “You’re saved by the bell. Your bitch needs to go to work.”

“I’m never gonna live this down, am I?”

Cat shakes her head no as she leaves the kitchen, still laughing.

***

A little before lunch, right after one of her morning students leaves, she picks up the phone and rings Cat. Well, she rings the bullpen office’s extension where sometimes Cat is. She’s lucky enough to be put through to her at the first try.

“Hey. Is everything alright?” Cat asks straight away.

“Hi. Yes. I’m fine. I just wanted to check on you.”

There’s a brief pause and then a muffled sigh. “I’m fine,” Cat says. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I can’t help it. Are you sure you want to do this? I know I always talk about how important family is. And it _is_ important. But your wellbeing is much more important and I’m not sure it’s a good idea for you to--”

“Look, Kara. I understand what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it, but I’m still going. She has a table booked and everything. And it’s only going to be an hour, an hour and a half tops.”

Kara knows this, because she’s seen the card Cat’s mother had sent a few days ago. She hadn’t even bothered to put it into an envelope. Wrote how she didn’t have the whole day, but that she could squeeze a quick birthday lunch in between business meetings. That was it. A tiny card with a hurried Happy Birthday scribbled on one corner. She feels a pang of sadness and anger at the thought. Cat deserves so much more.

“Cat. Please, listen. You know how hard it is for me to say this. But you--” Her voice falters but she needs to say it. Even if Cat won’t listen. Even if it goes against everything she’s been taught and everything she believes in. “You don’t owe her anything. It’s your choice, of course. But please remember that you _can_ step away. You’re allowed to protect yourself.”

She hears Cat exhale through her nose. “She’s not a supervillain, you know?”

Well. Kara tries to come up with something honest to say that would convince Cat, and herself, that what she said is true, but fails.

When Kara doesn’t reply, Cat says, “I’ll be fine, Kara. It’s only lunch. I’ll survive.”

“I know.”

There’s a long pause where they’re both listening to each other breathing, neither of them willing to hang up yet.

“So,” Cat says eventually. “I’ll see you at home, later, OK?”

“Of course.”

She can hear Cat smile on the other side.

“I’m still taking you out tonight, right?” Kara asks.

“Damn right you are. I’m going to need it like air.”

“Good. Good. Just--” Kara sighs deeply. “Take care of yourself in the meantime.”

“Jesus, Kara, I’m not going to war.”

Kara laughs, despite herself.

“Kara?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for calling,” Cat says, softer now.

“Any time.”

“OK, gotta go. Love ya.” Cat speaks those last two words so quietly only an alien could detect them.

“Love you too.”

***

Kara takes Cat out on the town that night, as promised. Earlier that week Cat had suggested some of the most famous and trendiest bars, the kind of places where people go celebrity-spotting and where celebrities go to be spotted, but Kara had objected.

“You need time off on your birthday, not more work,” she had said.

Cat had tried to explain to her the importance of being at the right places, amidst the right kind of people, in case the scoop of her life fell in her hands, but somehow Kara had managed to convince her that one night away from glamorous people wouldn’t compromise her climb to success, and had offered to pick a place herself. Which had left her in a pickle as she’s not exactly known for her Metropolis nightlife expertise. Thankfully, one of her younger students had come to the rescue and gave her a tip for a good spot which seemed to tick all the boxes. Friendly chilled-out crowd. Feel-good pop music. And especially no unwanted male groping on the dance floor or anywhere else. Even the name, “The Nook”, had seemed promising. Kara had expected that at some point Cat would bring up new IT guy, say he’d be joining them, or that, Rao forbid, she’d rather go out with him instead, but neither of these scenarios had occurred, and Kara is certainly not going to point it out now. So it’s just the two of them.

They quickly have a bite to eat at home - Cat refusing to share her birthday cake on principle - and then they get ready. Nothing fancy. No high heels or tight dresses. Before they begin, Kara has to warn Cat about the strict _lack_ of dress code of the place. Meaning people will be wearing jeans, flannel shirts and sneakers.

“So no glitzy, sequin-y, metallic-y stuff, basically. And no heels. Especially no heels.”

“It’s not one of those dreadful grunge bars, is it?” Cat eyes her suspiciously. “‘Cause I’d rather sit on a cactus than rub shoulders with that sort of sweaty, unkempt, mangy crowd,” she says, spitting the words out as if the mere mention of them would disgrace her.

Kara laughs. “I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s just not a shiny people place. It _is_ happy, though. Or so I’m told.”

“Oh, so you’ve never been,” Cat says, glancing at her sideways, as she opens her wardrobe and starts flicking through her outfits.

“Um. No. But I have it on good authority that it is the place for us. Just go with, what’s the term, casual chic?”

“How’s this?” Cat shows her some dark, tight, stone-washed jeans paired with a cropped, black top. “Too plain?”

“Hard to tell. Put them on, while I go choose something, and we’ll talk.”

“Why I even let you have a say on this is beyond me,” she hears Cat mutter as she leaves her room.

Kara comes back wearing a black babydoll dress with tiny white and purple flowers, a black floppy hat on her head, dark tights and comfy leather boots.

Cat is looking into her dresser mirror, while she puts on a pair of long jangling earrings. She turns around, and Kara takes a good look at her. She will never stop being amazed at how Cat can make a simple outfit seem so fabulous.

“That.. is perfect,” Kara says.

Cat smiles. “I know.”

“What about this?” she says, twirling around.

Cat gives her a quick appraising glance. “Are we going to a nighttime picnic? Where’s your wicker basket?”

“Oh, come on!” Kara says, dropping her shoulders.

“Alright, fine. I’ll admit it. It’s kind of cute… on you. I still hope one day you’ll let me dress you properly.”

“Only if I can dress you.”

“Ha ha. Keep dreaming,” she says, as she approaches her dresser. She grabs some thin silver bangles and turns around, holding them up. “Here, you need to accessorize.” She takes Kara’s hand and slips them on. “How’s that?”

Kara shakes her arm and frowns. “They’re kind of… noisy?”

Cat looks up and puffs. “The point is to look good, not to go unnoticed.”

“Still. It’s annoying.”

“Never mind.” Cat slips the bangles off Kara’s arm and puts them back on her dresser. “How about a necklace, at least?”

“Sure, whatever,” Kara shrugs.

“Try this.” Cat shows her a layered chain with three tiny silver birds hanging from it.

Kara holds her breath. “That’s gorgeous.”

Cat gives her a satisfied smile. “Turn around.”

Kara does. She feels Cat’s warm fingers gently pull her hair away from her neck.

“There you go,” Cat says, after buckling the tiny clasp. “Have a look in the mirror.”

Kara steps in front of it. She lifts a hand to touch it and nods. “Yes. I love it.”

“Keep it.”

“What? No, I can’t. It’s yours. And it’s your birthday, not mine.”

Cat shakes her head. “I never wear it. Besides, it’s so obviously you, I don’t even know why I bought it.”

“Alright, then. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Let’s do our makeup and go.”

***

They take a taxi to the place. Kara had tried to pry earlier about Cat’s lunch with her mother, but Cat had brushed her off, saying she didn’t want to talk about it, so Kara had let it drop. She knows better than to push her. But she’s hoping that as the night unfolds, Cat will open up to her. She hadn’t come back from work furious or in tears but she had been purposely silent about the whole affair, which is never a good sign.

Kara insists on paying for the ride and opening the car door for her and Cat huffs and rolls her eyes and says “really?” but she still links her arm with hers as they walk down the road to the Nook and Kara accepts the gesture, smiling silently.

There’s a huge, female bouncer at the door, who nods at them and winks at Cat and they both look at each other, puzzled, but they forget about it as they get in. It’s still quite early so they are able to find an empty table, with high, comfy stools, in a secluded corner. Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car is wafting through the speakers. There are pictures of classic Hollywood divas glued to the walls and the rest of the decor screams vintage-y, shabby chic thrift store. Kara feels immediately at home and Cat leans in and says, “I see why you liked the sound of this place.”

Kara squeezes her shoulders up to her ears. “What do you think?”

“Yeah. It’s… cozy.”

Kara’s heart sinks. “You hate it.”

“No! Really. It’s nice. Very relaxing.” Cat looks around. “Very…” she slows down and narrows her eyes. “... female.”

“How do you mean?”

Cat props her chin on her hand and leans closer. “Don’t you think the crowd is kind of… specific?” she whispers.

“Specific?”

“Shhh,” Cat says. “There’s no need to shout it out loud.”

“I just have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kara says in an exaggerated whisper.

Cat points with her eyes at the small crowd around them. There are no men. Absolutely none. Just women. And they seem to come in twos, mostly. Even the staff at the bar is all female.

“Oh-kay. So, it’s, what? A feminist bar?”

“Kara,” Cat says. “Think again.”

Kara goes back to inspecting the crowd, trying to act as casual as she can. This time she notices the two women behind them are holding hands. One woman standing by the bar is pressed against the lady beside her, gently stroking her back up and down. And the two in the far end of the room are downright smooching on a couch. How had she not noticed that before?

Her mouth forms a perfectly oval ‘O’. Her eyes widen. Her skin flushes. All in the space of a second. “I--” She tries to speak but her voice betrays her. She swallows and tries again. “I swear I didn’t know.”

“Obviously.”

“I’m so sorry. My student… she must have thought… Oh gosh.” She covers her cheeks with her hands.

Cat starts chuckling and Kara gets even more flustered. “We should go. Let’s go now.” She goes to grab her purse, but Cat puts a hand on her arm and stops her.

“It’s fine,” she says, looking into her eyes. “Really.”

“You sure? I don’t mind leaving, we can go to one of the places you suggested…”

“Are you nuts? This is great. I’ve never been to a lesbian bar before.” She sways in her seat, grinning like she did before opening her present this morning. As if this is also part of her present.

“Just think of the opportunity. An insider look into the underground world of the gays.” She says “gays” as if it’s this mysterious and exotic word.

Kara purses her lips and fidgets with her necklace. “I don’t know. It feels weird. And I said ‘no work’, remember?”

“OK, look at it this way. We came out to dance, right? And you always say how annoying boys are on the dance floor. What better situation than this?”

“But-- but what if one of-- them tries to hit on me instead?”

“Oh, is that the problem? Well, what if... you pretended to be my girlfriend for the evening?”

She says it so fast that Kara’s brain takes a few second to process it.

“Your g-- girlfriend?”

“Yuh-huh. Besides,” she shrugs, “you made me leave my heels at home and wear jeans. The bars I suggested are out of the question.”

“You seem very chill about this.”

“And you seem to be making an unnecessarily big deal out of it. Why don’t you go get me a Martini and start lightening up, huh?”

“But--”

“Extra dry, two olives, go.”

Right.

So that’s it, she thinks as she crosses the room. This is what’s happening right now. This is what they’re doing. Playing happy couple for the night. It’s cool. Nothing to panic about. It’s completely, totally, 100% fine.

She glances at the two on the couch, who are enthusiastically exploring each other’s tongues and she feels queasy. Like she would feel sometimes when she was still learning how to fly and dropped down too fast. She hasn’t felt it in a long time and it terrifies her.

She takes a deep steadying breath, remembers she’s Supergirl, the girl of steel, and adjusts her glasses. She’s got this.

“Hi.” She waves at the bartender, who dries her hands on a dish towel and approaches her. She’s a young woman around her age, with short messy brown hair and a tan.

“Hey sweetie. What can I get you tonight?”

“A Martini, please. Extra dry, two olives. And a Diet Coke.”

“You got it.”

Kara makes a point of looking at nowhere else beside her linked hands on the bar.

The bartender returns swiftly with her order.

“Are you new around here? I’ve never seen you before,” the girl asks as she takes Kara’s money.

“Yeah. First time.”

The bartender nods knowingly. “That your girl over there?” she says, jerking her head in the direction of their table.

“Oh, Cat? No! She’s not, she’s just my--” she shakes her head automatically. “I mean, yes. Yes, she is. That’s, um, her, over there.”

“I see. First time _out_ , am I right?”

“Um. Yes? I mean, out _here._ It’s our first time out here. It’s not like we’ve never been out before, we go out all the time, it’s just--”

The bartender chuckles. “You’re adorable,” she says, and Kara flushes violently. “And your girlfriend is really hot. I’d keep an eye on her if I were you.” She winks and leaves to serve someone else.

She turns around and sees that Cat is not alone anymore. There’s a tall, dark-haired woman leaning on the table and she seems to be deep in conversation with Cat.

Kara speeds up and drops the two drinks loudly on the table. Both Cat and Tall Woman do a little surprised jump and look up.

Cat recovers quickly and smiles. She takes Kara’s hand and puts it around her back, pulling her close. “Honey,” she says, “this is… uh, I didn’t catch your name?”

“Sam.”

“Hmm. Sam here was telling me all about this place. Did you know that when it first opened homosexuality was still illegal in this state? Can you imagine? And they do weekly Karaoke nights. You love Karaoke, don’t you, darling?”

Kara gives her a tight-lipped smile and wonders how these two could have gone into such a detailed conversation in the short time she was gone.

“Yes. I do,” she says, still smiling. “And you hate it so much you once said you’d rather share a bed with George Bush than be subjected to that kind of human degradation ever again.”

“I did not say that. That’s gross.” She makes a disgusted face and takes a long sip of her Martini.

“Alright, well. It was nice meeting you ladies. I’ll see you around.” Tall Woman gives them a quick salute and leaves.

Cat relaxes her grip on Kara’s waist a little. “You didn’t have to be so rude.”

“ _I_ was rude? I turn my back for a second and you’re already flirting with Miss Universe there.”

Cat lifts her chin. “That was not flirting. That was research.”

Kara snorts. “You’re lucky I can’t make dirty jokes, but I’m sure there’s one right there,” she says. She picks up her Coke and puts the straw in her mouth.

Cat laughs. “Come on. Sit, drink and be merry,” she says, patting the seat to her left.

Kara reclaims her stool and looks down, swirling the straw in the glass. “This was your idea. It’s useless if you just let any random stranger flirt with you. It’ll blow our cover.”

“Oh, you want me to be more obvious, do you? More… handsy?” She gives her a devious smile and starts stroking Kara’s forearm. Kara pulls away immediately.

Cat throws her arms in the air in mock frustration and sits back. “So I’m not getting any tonight. How wonderful.”

Kara bites the inside of her cheek and gives her a light shove. “Will you stop? You’re being ridiculous. And how are you in such a good mood anyway?

“Shouldn’t I be? It’s my birthday!” she says loudly.

“Oh-kay. And that’s awesome. But you still haven’t said a word about--”

Cat shuts her up with an eye roll. “I’ve already said I don’t want to talk about it.”

Kara sighs. “I know, and I completely understand. But whenever you’re ready--”

“Ugh. I’m not drunk enough for this,” Cat says and walks up to the bar, leaving Kara with nothing to do but gape at her.

The music in the meantime has gone up and switched to more upbeat tunes. The dance floor is slowly filling up, and as the crowd grows so does Kara’s sense of uneasiness. She wishes she could numb her tension with alcohol the way Cat is doing, but as always, she is doomed to be painfully sober throughout this whole bizarre situation.

Cat comes back a good fifteen minutes later, and if the way she’s swaying her hips is any indication, she has fulfilled her wish to be much, much drunker. She takes a quick sip of her Martini and winks at Kara, beckoning her with her finger to stand up.

“Uh?”

Cat simply points to the dance floor and looks at her expectantly.

“Oh, no.” She panics and chuckles nervously. “I’m not ready yet--” But she knows there is no use fighting this. She’s only stalling for time. Cat is not going to take no for an answer, she can see it in her eyes.

The music is loud enough now that Cat has to lean over and put her mouth to Kara’s ear. “Come on, babe. Time to hit the floor.”

Kara grimaces. She averts her eyes, still lingering, but Cat is on a mission.

“I didn’t get this drunk to sit in a corner and bitch about my sorry excuse for a mother. Let’s go.”

And with that Cat literally drags her by the hand toward the small crowd of people dancing on the other side of the room.

Kara loves dancing, she always has. Loves losing herself to the music, feeling the beat drumming in her chest as she jumps and sings along to her favorite tunes alone in her room with her walkman, or when she plays it full blast before starting a painting session, getting all pumped up and energized. It’s fun, it’s liberating, and it helps her creative juices to flow. What she has always hated is the way dancing in clubs has usually very little to do with actual fun and a lot to do with feeling looked at, judged and appraised by everyone else around. There’s nothing liberating in that.

As soon as they reach the dance floor, she realizes that this is going to be different. The women here are dancing exactly the way she does when she’s alone. They’re not here to be watched and look pretty. They’re here to have a good time. Kara starts to loosen up a little. Cat releases her hand and begins moving to Rhythm is a Dancer with her eyes closed. Kara, still feeling a little like she’s swallowed a cardboard stick, follows Cat’s lead. She closes her eyes and imagines being there with Cat and no one else, the music playing just for them, and with that mental image in her head she slowly lets go of her fears.

They play a lot of her favorite songs, some new, some old, some she’s never heard of, but soon it doesn’t matter. She loves it now. When she opens her eyes, she realizes she doesn’t feel threatened by the people around her anymore. She feels like she’s part of something beautiful, something special, in its simplicity. People - women - dancing together, laughing and sweating and feeling alive.

She looks at Cat and Cat looks at her and Kara thinks she hasn’t seen her so carefree and happy in a long time. Cat skips closer, breathless and flushed and smiling; she takes Kara’s hand and Kara twirls her around and Cat laughs, so Kara does it again; she dances pressed against Kara, shoulder to shoulder; she circles her, puts her hands on Kara’s sides, moves her hips, silently telling Kara to move along with her, and Kara does.

She could do this all night.

There’s a pause in the music, a short moment when everyone is catching their breath and looking around. Cat blows a lock of hair off her sweaty face; she catches Kara looking at her and she bites her bottom lip, still panting. And then the first slow notes of What’s Up start playing, that sweet, beautiful guitar riff she had listened to ad nauseam when it first came out, and Cat’s smile widens into a grin. She steps closer, as couples start pairing up around them. She takes her hands.

“May I have this dance?”

When Kara nods, Cat tugs at her waist and pulls her close. She links her arms behind Kara’s back and starts rocking slowly. Kara suddenly stiffens up. This is different. Doesn’t feel like the same game they were playing just a minute ago. She lifts her hands onto Cat’s shoulders and puts some distance between them. Cat looks up at her.

“You can hold me a little tighter. I won’t break.”

“I-- I know. It’s just--”

Cat steps close again. “It’s okay,” she says in her ear. “You’re my girlfriend tonight, remember?”

Kara hasn’t forgotten. She hasn’t forgotten at all, and maybe that’s the problem. But she forces herself to nod. She tentatively slides her arms up Cat’s back and Cat molds herself into the embrace. She hears and feels Cat’s deep sigh as she rests her head on Kara’s chest and Kara struggles hard not to think about how that sigh makes her feel. She focuses on the music, on the lyrics she knows by heart, on making sure she doesn’t step on Cat’s feet or bumps into any other dancing couples. Definitely not on how Cat’s hands are now stroking lazy circles on the small of her back, and how it makes her toes tingle.

She thinks she has it under control, until Cat’s face slowly moves up, her nose so close to her neck she can feel her breath on her skin. And in a flash Kara is aware of everything. Of where they are, of what they’re doing, of the million different voices in her head screaming at her.

“I can’t do this.”

Cat lifts her head up. “Huh?”

Kara shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I-- I have to go.”

She walks away. She shuts down Cat calling her name, the music, the crowd, everything. She needs air. She sees an emergency door and pushes it open.

She finds herself in a back alley, amid garbage cans and cigarette butts. She leans on the opposite wall, trying to steady her heart. Trying to understand what is going on. All she knows right now is that she can’t go back in there.

A few minutes later, Cat comes to find her.

“Hey.”

Kara doesn’t answer. She looks away as Cat approaches her on unsteady legs.

“You scared me,” Cat says, her words slurred, slowed down by the alcohol.

“I just needed a moment,” Kara says, still unable to look at her.

Cat comes closer and leans on the wall beside Kara, with her hands behind her back. “What have I done this time?”

Kara sniffs and manages to smile a little. “Nothing. It’s not you…”

“... ‘it’s me’,” Cat finishes. “Usually I’m the one who says it. Before I dump them.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she says, sounding stroppier than she intended.

Cat shrugs and makes a dismissive sound. “I don’t know. Drunk talk. Forget it.”

Kara leans her head back and closes her eyes. “It just got… too much, in there.”

“Too much what?”

“I don’t know. Everything.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. Not _you_. Just me… and you. It was all too--”

“Invasive?”

Kara looks up and presses her lips together. “I was going to say confusing. But yeah. A little. Maybe.”

There’s a pause. Then Cat pushes herself off the wall and takes a step back.

“I’m sorry,” Cat says softly.

Kara shakes her head. “Don’t.”

“No, I--” Cat clenches her fists and closes her eyes. “I’m really sorry. It was all me. Stupid, selfish me and my stupid ideas. I fucked up. Again.”

Kara wipes away a stray tear off her face and forces herself to smile, the need to reassure Cat now taking priority. “You didn’t. I just needed a moment, that’s all. No big deal. Let’s go back in.”

“No.”

“No?”

Cat shakes her head. “I don’t feel like dancing anymore. And I probably shouldn’t keep drinking.”

Kara chuckles and breathes a sigh of relief. “You probably shouldn’t. OK, let’s grab our things.”

Cat lifts a finger and points it at Kara. “No, you stay right where you are. I got this.”

“There really is no need…”

Cat keeps her finger pointed and gives her her most determined drunken face. “You. Stay. Here.”

She turns around, takes a second to get her bearings and goes in. A few minutes later, she returns with their coats and Kara’s hat. She puts her coat on, but holds Kara’s things back.

“You should go. Do your…” she does the flying motion with her hand, “... super thing. You have your suit under that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do, but--”

“Please. I think you need it right now. To have some space. Clear your head. Just, don’t go off flying to Antarctica this time.”

“I’m not leaving you alone, Cat. Not while you’re like this.”

“I’ll be OK. The taxi driver will do all the hard work, I promise.”

Kara purses her lips, torn between the itch to take off and the need to keep Cat safe.

“Alright,” she says finally. “But I’ll have a little word with the driver first. In case he has funny ideas. And take his licence plate. And his ID number.”

Cat exhales an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”

“Oh, and one more thing.” She unclips her bird necklace and hands it to Cat. “I don’t want to risk losing it.”

Cat smiles and takes it. “Sure.”

***

She soars into the night sky at full speed, relishing in the feeling of absolute freedom that flying always gives her. She doesn’t think about what happened at the bar. Doesn’t want to understand it, not now. She just lets the exhilaration of her own powers take control and shut everything else out. Still, she doesn’t head straight home. She follows Cat’s cab along, turning on all her super senses. She does a couple of detours in which she stops a mugging, a car theft and a dog from being run over, but all in all it’s a quiet night, and she’s soon back to following Cat’s cab along the busy streets of Metropolis until Cat’s delivered safely at their doorsteps.

She lands on the roof and checks that everything is still in order and then flies down to Cat’s bedroom window. She knocks.

A minute later, Cat comes in and pulls the window up.

“‘Sup, Supergirl? Forgot your house keys?”

“Come on. I need to show you something.”

“Where?”

Kara points up.

“The roof?”

“Yep.”

“Alright, I’ll see you there.”

“It’s seven flights of stairs, Cat.”

“Believe me, I remember.” She shoos her away with her hand and pulls the window down.

Ten or fifteen minutes later Cat shows up at the metal door at the top of the stairs, gasping for air.

“This better be worth it, girl, I’m--”

Kara sneaks from behind the door and puts her hands on Cat’s eyes, and Cat lets out a startled sound.

“What the--”

“Shh. It’s me. I’m going to take my hands down now, but no peeking until I say so, OK?” she warns.

Cat chuckles. “Fine.”

Kara leads her to the spot she had prepared before leaving the house.

“OK, you can open them now.”

There’s a picnic blanket spread near the edge of the roof. One extra woolly blanket folded beside it. A flask full of sweet coffee. And a big telescope already prepped on its tripod, pointed towards the stars.

Cat stands there with her mouth open, blinking.

“You had one present left. Or did you forget about that?”

“I, um, I kinda did, actually.”

“Well? Don’t you want to give it a try?”

Cat grins. “You bet your ass I do.”

Kara sits down on the blanket, pushes her cape aside and pats the space next to her. When Cat sits on her knees next to her, Kara heats up the coffee quickly and hands a cup to Cat.

Cat takes a sip and squeezes her shoulders, grinning. “I hope you realize I don’t know the first thing about telescopes.”

“Just look in.”

Cat pushes herself up and lowers her face on the big lens.

“Do you see a big, red dot, surrounded by a swirl of dust in the right hand corner?”

“Is that…?”

“Yes. That’s Rao.”

Cat’s breath hitches. “Wow. I can actually see it.”

“Yeah.”

Cat pulls away from the lens and looks at Kara. “I can’t believe it. This is incredible.”

“And you can also look at a lot of other planets I’ve been on. They’re still there, most of them.”

“You’re gonna have to show them all to me.”

“That’s the plan.”

Cat shakes her head slowly.

“What?” Kara says.

“Nothing. It’s just--” She nudges Kara’s shoulder lightly with hers. “You’ve just given me the stars, Kara Zor-El.”

Any other day, even this morning, she would have said something like “I would give you anything you wanted if I could.” Now she just hugs her knees and shrugs.

“I can’t actually bring you there. It’s just a telescope.”

“No, it’s not just that.”

“Well. I’m glad you like it,” she says, suddenly feeling uneasy again.

“I do. I love it.”

Kara doesn’t reply. She had imagined this moment a lot, when she was planning it. She had imagined Cat’s reaction, her stunned face and her excitement, and she had imagined her own delight at seeing Cat like that. Because that’s what they do. They make each other happy; day by day, they make each other’s lives worth living. So why is she feeling like she needs to take off again? Why isn’t she getting the usual thrill of pure joy after making Cat happy? All she’s feeling right now is an indefinable tight knot in her chest.

She drinks her coffee and sees Cat looking at her out of the corner of her eye. She looks concerned, pained even; she cradles her cup in her hands and exhales very quietly.

“I can hear you thinking,” Kara says to break the silence.

Cat draws in a deep breath. “Is everything alright, Kara? I know things got a little weird earlier…”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Cat places a hand on Kara’s arm lightly and Kara retreats from the touch, before she can realize what she’s doing.

“OK, that answers it,” Cat says.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean--”

“No, it’s perfectly fine. I understand.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Kara. I was a little drunk, still kinda am, actually. But even drunken me knows when she oversteps.”

Kara is barely listening, lost in her own thoughts. “I’m ruining everything, aren’t I? This,” she gestures vaguely around her, “was supposed to be all for you and I--”

But she has no idea how to end that sentence. She blows her cheeks in frustration and gives up.

“Kara. Look at me,” Cat says.

Kara shakes her head and purses her lips.

“Look at me, goddammit.”

Kara turns her head slowly and raises her eyes to meet Cat’s.

“This,” she gestures around mimicking Kara, “Your thoughtful presents, your card. The freaking pancake cake. Our night out. It’s more than _anyone_ has ever done for me. It was... It was the best birthday I could have asked for. So, no, you didn’t ruin it. You nailed it. Is that clear?”

Kara sniffs and attempts a tiny smile. “Crystal.”

“Good. Now,” Cat says, putting her cup down. “What else can this thingamabob show me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you babies who weren't alive or were too young in the early '90s, this is the music that played at the Nook. It's pretty famous, but you never know:  
> [Fast Car - Tracy Chapman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTIB10eQnA0)  
> [Rhythm is a Dancer - Snap!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMPM1q_Uyxc%0A)  
> [What's Up - 4 non blondes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc)
> 
> In my mind they also danced to:  
> [Saturday Night - Whigfield](https://youtu.be/8DNQRtmIMxk)  
> [Mr Vain - Culture Beat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfWb_60lhw0&list=PLpXJB3zzpYfzNuSxSw5pJjc6_0NFKvshj&index=20)  
> [Technotronic - Get Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6xDiPubxVU)  
> [My Sharona - The Knack](https://youtu.be/BR2JtsVumFA?list=PLpXJB3zzpYfzNuSxSw5pJjc6_0NFKvshj)  
> [Sleeping in my car- Roxette](https://youtu.be/S5fn1DfqPfA?list=PLpXJB3zzpYfzNuSxSw5pJjc6_0NFKvshj)  
> [The Rhythm of the night - Corona](https://youtu.be/u3ltZmI5LQw?list=PLpXJB3zzpYfzNuSxSw5pJjc6_0NFKvshj)  
> Madonna - Vogue: you don't need the link (and now I'm imagining Cat dancing to it and it's doing things to me.)
> 
> And last but not least, I'd like to point out how pissed I am at Settlers of Catan for having only been released in the US in 1996. Next year, girls. Next year.


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long hiatus, due to unforeseen circumstances, I present you Two Hearts, One Roofs season 2!
> 
> The premiere finds our favorite roommate heroes dealing with the aftermath of season's 1 emotional finale, a.k.a. the great lesbian bar night-out feel-fest. Each in their own way.
> 
> It's going to be a bumpy ride.

The following week Supergirl is unstoppable. Crime rate is at a record low. Wrongdoers can’t catch a break; gang members are busted, recidivist robbers jailed, school bullies dressed down. She’s a one-woman army. The Metropolis Police Department is unsure whether to celebrate or to close up shop.

The media is in full hype mode. She’s on the cover of all major newspapers every single day. Radio programs dedicated to chronicling her deeds start popping up all around the country. TV screens keep showing what has been labeled as her “power stance”: floating mid-air, chin up, hands on hips, golden locks and flaming red cape flapping gracefully in the wind, fierce gaze fixed on her target. They can’t get enough of it.

They’re calling her an icon, a role model, the true embodiment of America’s purest values - hope, justice and optimism.

Kara is only peripherally aware of all of this happening. She knows she’s become a superstar, a celebrity. It’s unavoidable. Displays of affection and gratitude from the general public are getting ubiquitous. People ask for autographs after having been saved from imminent death. Little boys and girls wave and clap their hands when they see her flying by. She does her best to make everyone happy, especially the little ones. Their love feeds her powers just as much as the sun does. What she doesn’t have time for is the media frenzy.

She’s in a frenzy of her own.

When she’s out there, pushing herself to the limit, chasing criminals or rescuing people from burning buildings, she is awash with an exhilarating sense of fulfillment, confidence and wholeness she’s never experienced before. She is continually amazed by what her powers can do to help people, to make the world a better and safer place.

So she keeps flying, keeps fighting. Keeps avoiding other, less comforting truths.

 

*** 

 

When Kara’s not busy becoming America’s super sweetheart, she spends most of her (very little) spare time in her room. Out of her suit and the limelight, she spins her cocoon of avoidance by scribbling nonsensical doodles in her journal or making up mindless quiet tunes on her guitar. It works. All thoughts of what’s happening between her and Cat are kept neatly at bay, undisturbed. There is still a chance things might sort themselves out, isn’t there? There is no need to stir more trouble. Let it all settle naturally; it might go away eventually, whatever this “it” is.

In the meantime, she has canceled all her private lessons for this week, blaming some viral flu that’s still doing the rounds. She tells herself it’s to concentrate on patrolling and, for the most part, she believes it. It feels wrong to be cooped up, when the city needs her. Besides, nobody will die if she doesn’t teach a teenage boy how to hold a brush properly, nor will the two of them starve if she doesn’t produce new artworks for a few days.

When Cat comes home, often very late in the evening, and Kara happens to be there, she hears her exhale a deep sigh of relief every time. She knows Cat worries about her being out there for hours on end. If things were normal between them, she’d expect Cat to barge into her bedroom every night, demand to be told exactly what she’s been up to, what kind of danger she’s put herself in and reprimand her about the amount of new wrinkles she’s responsible for adding to her otherwise still flawless skin. Kara would defuse Cat’s anxiety by rebutting that her skin had suffered no visible damage whatsoever as far as she can see. She’d take that opportunity to praise her precious facial features and Cat would glare at her before shoving her shoulder and asking her whether she’d like Chinese or Thai for dinner.

It’s a testament to how shaky things are between them right now that Cat’s reactions to her superhero rampages are so subdued. Cat is refraining from commenting on her behavior - which is a first - and the worst part of it is that Kara is not surprised, not even disappointed; she’s relieved. It’s okay, she tells herself. Things will get better. They’ll be fine. It’s just a matter of time.

They still eat together, chat briefly about each other’s day. Kara tries hard to pretend everything is business as usual and Cat allows her. When Kara excuses herself and goes to her room after dinner, Cat leaves her be and watches the news on her own.

It’s not like she’s shutting Cat out, really. There’s nothing wrong with needing some time to herself. They share so much already. Besides, she’s an artist, she needs to retreat into her own world every now and then, to refill her creative well. It’s a natural part of the process; that’s how she rolls.

A couple of times she hears Cat tiptoeing to her door late at night; her x-ray vision shows her standing there, hesitating, one hand raised, about to knock. Both times she sees her pursing her lips before giving up and retreating to her own room. Kara doesn’t rush to the door to invite her in. When shame appears, lurking in the shadows of her mind, she only needs to put on her suit and fly out the window, faster than the speed of sound, faster than her own thoughts, to dispel it. For another night, at least.

 

***

  
By the end of the week it looks like she has discouraged even the most persistent of petty thieves. Yet she still flies, restlessly looking for any kind of possible threat. She widens her scope to the neighboring cities; she surveils suburbs, towns and villages; she scans the intricate landscape of motorways, glittering like fairy lights at night; she reaches even farther out, until it’s just her and miles and miles of frozen corn fields.

Only there she starts relaxing, for the first time in days. She lets her mind wonder, unbridled, too tired to rein it in. It goes back to only a couple of months before, when they first moved in together. Her excitement of sharing every single day with her best friend was still so fresh and untainted. Things were much simpler then. Lines were much more defined. Now they’re blurred, like when you’re watching an impressionist painting up close and all you see are brush strokes and shapeless daubs of color. She needs to take a step back.

What she definitely knows without having to do much introspection is how ironic it is that just when she’s finally making a name for herself in this world, when she seems to have found her true calling, both as an artist and a service to the community, her private life is crumbling. No, it’s more than that. In all her years on Earth she’s had to learn to cope with being the outsider, the different one, except for some rare blissful moments when Cat made her forget that, made her feel like she truly belonged. It dawns on her that she’s lost that. She feels her alienness more than ever now.

 

*** 

 

The next day is Monday and Supergirl takes the day off. After breakfast she rings up her students and fixes their appointments for the week. She leaves a message on their answering machine when they don’t pick up and writes down the agreed times in her diary for those who do. Later she has a long, indulgent shower and leaves her hair loose and damp on her shoulders to dry. She dons her stonewash denim dungarees over an old faded t-shirt, fishes out her trusted walkman from her desk drawer and puts on the headphones. Roxette’s Crash! Boom! Bang! tape is still in it. She rewinds it to get to the first song; she presses play and nods. Exactly what she needs to get her day started.

She mindlessly lets her brush find its way on the canvas. Doesn’t try to find a meaning or a purpose to her movements. Guided solely by the music and her instinct she dips the brush in paint, bobbing her head and tapping her foot to the rhythm, while her hand creates an explosion of streaks and swirls and dots in front of her. She takes breaks only for quick food and drink refills every couple of hours and to change cassettes when they’re over, and goes back to work as soon as she’s done. When she’s out of canvasses she runs out to the art supply store and stocks up. Until the sunset comes and she’s forced to stop - she doesn’t like working in the dim evening light and her night vision is a poor substitute. She surveys the result, sat crossed-legs on the floor, and can’t decide whether she likes it or not. All she knows is that her inner turmoil has finally begun to subside. It’s not true inner peace, not even close. But it’s something.

 

*** 

 

When Cat comes home later that evening she finds Kara still sitting on the floor, facing her fresh paintings propped up on wooden easels around the living room.

“Hey stranger.”

Kara turns her head. “Hey.”

“No cape today?” Cat says while she takes off her heels.

“Nope. Been busy otherwise.”

Cat walks over to the sofa and leans her hip on it. She crosses her arms. “I can see that.”

Kara pulls down her headphones and leaves them round her neck. “What do you think?”

“It’s… new,” she nods slowly. “Different. Practicing for the Jackson Pollock wannabe contest, I presume?”

Kara scoffs. “You know I’ve always been more of a Monet girl. This is just-- I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Something I needed to do?”

“Actions speak louder than words. And your actions are practically yelling at me right now, I can’t hear anything else. I need a drink.”

Kara takes a deep breath and releases the tension she wasn’t aware she was holding in her shoulders. This is good. This is them returning to normal, or at least trying really hard to. She can live with that.

“You know,” she hears Cat saying from the kitchen while she pops ice cubes into a glass, “I hope our rent doesn’t go up.”

“Huh?”

Cat reappears holding a glass of what looks like hard liquor. Scotch probably. She’s recently bought a bottle just for herself and Kara thinks that it won’t last long if she keeps going at it the way she has.

She takes a sip. “Oh, don’t play dumb, you must have noticed. Metropolis is the new Shangri-La, thanks to Supergirl. Half the country wants to move here now.”

“That’s not--”

“I hear Robin is considering ditching Batman for you.” She raises her glass and downs her drink in one go.

Kara laughs and springs upright with one smooth movement; she pushes her hair behind her ears and puts her hands in her pockets. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant or anything, but it doesn’t look like I’m in dire need of a sidekick at the moment.”

“No. It doesn’t.” Cat says, her voice suddenly lower.

She goes back into the kitchen and this time she returns with the whole bottle of scotch; she flops on the couch, crosses her legs on the coffee table and pours herself another drink.

Kara stands there, aware she should say something, anything, to fill in the gaps in the heavy silence that is building up again between them. They were making progress - weren’t they, a moment ago? Or so it seemed for a fleeting instant. The brave thing to do would be to keep the momentum going, to charge in and defuse the tension, use this brief moment of lightness to fix things. Supergirl would.

Kara glances at Cat, her eyes fixed intently on the amber liquid swirling in her glass, and she feels the moment quickly slipping away from her. The more she stands there, the farther it goes.

“Have you eaten? I could make pasta. There’s not much left in the fridge but--”

Cat shakes her head. She leans back into the couch and draws in a long breath. “On second thought,” she says, waving her hand at Kara’s new paintings, the ice clinking in her glass, “I might have been a little harsh. It’s not a style I’m naturally drawn to but they’re very--” she pauses. “They’re very you. Certainly less demanding than your previous project.”

Kara glances at the pile of sketches and unfinished canvasses of Cat’s face lying in a corner, covered by a white linen sheet. She hasn’t exactly abandoned that project, not consciously, not definitely. It’s just on hold. Kind of like their friendship.

“Oh. That. No, I-- I’m just trying out stuff. It doesn’t mean anything…”

“Of course not. It’s fine. I’m glad you’re working again, Kara.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Cat nods and takes another sip.

“Speaking of work,” Kara continues, “I have booked new private lessons for this week. I left the timetable by the telephone.”

“Excellent.”

“Which means Lois is coming over tomorrow afternoon.”

She hears Cat’s breath catch in her throat. “Ha. Less excellent. But unavoidable. I will make myself scarce, then.”

“You don’t have to,” Kara says. “You’re very welcome to stay. ”

Cat closes her eyes. “I know. But I respectfully decline your offer. One self-inflicted headache tomorrow will be enough for me.”

“Right.”

Cat puts her glass down, lifts herself up a little unsteadily from the couch and smooths her hands down her black pant suit. “See you in the morning?”

Kara hesitates for a second. “I--”

“Never mind. Forget I said anything. Do what you have to do. Keep us safe, make us proud and all that jazz. I’ll see you-- whenever, ‘kay?”

“Sure… ‘night, Cat.” She hears her mind voice the three simple words she has said to her a million times over, words that used to come so readily to her, so freely. Now they’re stuck in her throat, clenching her chest, trapped by a blinding, paralyzing fear.

She swooshes out the window, into the cold night sky, looking for the closest wall to punch.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara talks things out with Lois and Lois comes up with an unexpected solution to her woes (kind of?)

“Are you sure you’re up for this, sweetie? You don’t look so good.”

Lois has been stalling since the beginning of the lesson, which technically hasn’t even started yet; Kara can feel her own patience crumbling at an alarming rate. She’s perfectly aware of being still kind of edgy, to put it mildly, and would much rather spend her afternoon out there, looking for bad guys or for people in mortal peril. Well, right now even hedgehogs about to be run over would do.

Except this is her job too, she can’t keep blowing it off whenever suits her. And Lois is a paying student, albeit not a particularly focused one today.

“I’m fine, Lois, I told you. I’m completely virus-free, totally healthy, absolutely not sick at all,” Kara reassures her with her brightest smile, handing her a pencil. 

“So you say. And yet, your face tells me otherwise.” She takes the pencil, looking suspiciously at Kara. 

Kara sighs. This is going to be a long session.

“Don’t worry about me. You’re here now, so let’s focus, shall we? Have you been practising your chiaro-scuro as I said?”

“I sure have. Done nothing else ever since we parted.” 

“Great!” Kara claps her hands together, forcing enthusiasm in her voice and ignoring Lois’s sarcasm. “Let’s see your progress.” 

She manages to keep Lois’s mind occupied long enough for her to sketch the inside of half a bell pepper but she can soon tell her heart is not in it.

“Okay, you know what?” Kara says, pushing the pepper away. “Stop that. You’re hurting that poor pepper’s feelings.”

“Ouch.” Lois looks up. “What about my feelings?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.” She crosses her arms. “Where’s your attention gone? Because it sure isn’t on the task today.”

“Geez, woman. I hadn’t pegged you for the tough demanding teacher.” She puts her pencil down and gives her a slow grin. “I quite like it.”

Kara squirms in her seat and clears her throat. “That’s… good. I think. But you still haven’t answered my question. If you’re not here to learn, you might as well tell me what’s going on in that meddling mind of yours.”

“Hey!” Lois looks mildly offended for a split second.

“Sorry. That was mean. But in case you haven’t realised, I’m giving you free rein here, so you either take it or we keep going with our lesson.”

Lois bites her lips and seems to gather her thoughts before speaking, which doesn’t bode well. Lois never minces her words; it must be serious. 

“Alright. It’s about Cat,” she says, finally.

Kara tenses up. Of course it is. 

“She said hi to me this morning.” She pauses. “She didn’t even sneer once.”

Kara draws a sharp breath and holds it in.

“And not just today,” Lois goes on. “It wasn’t an accidental slip, Kara. She’s been… odd lately. Very odd.”

“Oh.” Kara pushes her glasses up her nose. “Has she been, um, friendly?” 

Lois scoffs. “Are you out of your mind? No, she hasn’t been replaced by a doppelganger or anything. She’s just been… distracted, I guess. As if she forgot to be bitchy.”

Kara bites the top of her pencil absent-mindedly and nods slowly.

Lois tilts her head a little, looking at Kara with inquisitive eyes. “Did… did something happen? Recently? Between you and…”

Kara looks up sharply. Her first instinct is to deny everything, avoid the uncomfortable conversation that is bound to follow if she opens up; this could backfire horribly. After all, she hardly knows this woman. Who, let’s not forget, is someone who Cat despises with every fiber of her being. This is as close to betrayal as it can get for them. But she feels lonely and lost and Lois looks so willing to lend a listening ear.

“I don’t know,” she groans. “Everything is so messed up.” 

Lois reaches out and squeezes Kara’s hand gently. “It’s okay. What happens in art class stays in art class.”

Kara presses her lips together and fiddles with her necklace. It’s the silver one with the birds that Cat gave her. She has hardly ever taken it off since. A sudden wave of sadness enwraps her and she drops her shoulders in defeat. “Alright. Yes. Something sort of… did happen. At Cat’s birthday night out. ” 

Lois crosses her legs and leans forward, resting her chin on her hand.  
“Cat’s birthday,” Lois repeats, nodding. “Okay. Continue."

Kara instinctively moves back a little. “Right. So. It was her birthday, and it was all going perfectly swell; I made her a cake, gave her a present, but then at night we went out to this--”

“Hold your horses, darling. Define ‘we’.”

Kara regards her with an exasperated look. “Cat and I, Lois. Who else?”

Lois puts a hand up in self defence. “I just want to make sure I have all the facts here. So, to sum up, you and Cat went out on a date…”

“What? No! It wasn’t a d-- God! Why does everyone keep thinking that!”

She’s on her feet before she knows it. “We are not, NOT a couple. How is that so hard to understand!” 

She grabs the back of her chair and clenches her knuckles so hard she feels the wood crack under her fingers.

“Oh, boy,” Lois says.

“We’re friends, OK? Always have been. There is nothing else. No-thing. And by the way, what you suggested that time, about her being… not into men? Turned out to be a big pile of, of.. hogwash.”

Lois snorts. “Hogwash?” 

“Oh, yeah. Big time. She’s seeing someone. As in actual dating. A guy. Of the male variety. So, your theory? Poof, out the window. Never been an option, never will be.” 

It’s only when she stops ranting that she realizes how loud her voice was. She still hears it echoing in her ears. She looks down at her hands, clutching the back of her chair and pushes it out of the way. When she dares to glance at Lois, she finds her blinking. 

“Um. What guy now?”

Kara starts walking up and down the room, too buzzed to sit down again. “The, uh, the guy. The one in IT, whatshisface...”

Lois squints, deep in thought.

“Whatever, Lois. What does it matter?”

“Oh,” Lois widens her eyes suddenly. “You mean Jonathan from the basement? Is he ‘The Guy’?” she air quotes. “The poor sap who comes up to our floor and hovers around Cat’s desk every day hoping her computer will miraculously malfunction until she flicks her hand and sends him to get her a lettuce wrap? That guy? I see. Yes, I’m sure he’s a serious contender.”

Lois’s smirk is infuriating. 

“Although,” she squints, tapping her finger on her chin, “Now that you mention it…”

Kara stops her frantic pacing. “What?”

“I do remember seeing him and Cat leaving the office together the other day at lunch time.”

“See? I’m not making this up.”

“Still. I wouldn’t call it dating. I mean, she doesn’t really--”

Kara huffs. “Lois, please.”

“... seem all that into him, is all I’m sayin’.” 

Kara musters up the little patience she has left and manages to simply glare.

Lois puts her hands up. “Okay, fine. Let’s just… go back to what happened at Cat’s birthday. You two went out. Something happened. Spill it.”

There’s something to be said for Lois’s persistence. It’s admirable, really. 

“You know,” Kara says as she strides to the kitchen, “You’d make a great gossip columnist. You should talk to Cat.”

“You’re stalling,” Lois calls out to her in a sing-song voice.

“I’m just getting some ice-cream,” she replies, mocking her tone.

“I rest my case.”

Kara emerges from the kitchen holding a spoon in one hand, the carton in the other. 

“Wanf sum?” she says, her mouth already full of chocolate chip goodness.

“I’m good, thanks. I’m not the one who needs to compensate for her troubled love life with sugar.”

“Oh, cripes,” Kara says, flopping down on the nearest chair. “You’re like a dog with a bone!”

“Mm-hmm, yes. That has been said to me before,” she says, looking very pleased with herself. “But Kara, dear,” she continues, her voice softer now. “You haven’t given me much to chew on yet. What is so messed up?”

She is looking straight at Kara with her big bright eyes, waiting, and Kara finds that behind the blunt remarks and the cocky attitude, there’s real concern there. It’s reassuring, in a way. It’s a pattern she’s familiar with, knows how to handle it. Or at least she used to. 

Kara pushes away the ice-cream carton and pulls one knee up, resting her chin on it. “Everything,” she sighs. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

She expects Lois to keep probing her for details while she pauses, but she remains dead silent, patiently allowing her to collect her thoughts this time. 

“It used to be so simple, you know. Before we moved in together. It was easy.” She glances up quickly and catches Lois trying to suppress a skeptical expression. 

“Alright, fair enough,” she concedes. “‘Easy’ might not be the best choice of words. We’re two very different people, I know that. But that has never really been an issue. We understood each other, in our own way. We--”, she crinkles her forehead. “We fit. For some strange, unfathomable reason, we really did. And it was easy. To be her friend, to rely on her for every little thing, and for her to rely on me. And now it’s--” she shakes her head. “I don’t know. Things have changed between us. I mean, not just after that night. They have been changing for quite some time.”

It’s only when the words are out of her mouth that she realizes they’re telling the truth.

“Even when we’re relaxed, there’s always this underlying--” 

“Tension?” Lois offers.

“Yeah. And it wasn’t there before. Or at least not as much as it is now.” She groans. “I’m not saying it right.” She retrieves the ice-cream carton and shoves another huge spoonful in her mouth. 

Lois uncrosses her legs, crosses them again, leans back and draws in a deep breath before she says,“I don’t mean to be the insensitive one here. I do appreciate the difficulty to articulate… whatever it is that you want to articulate, but put yourself in my shoes. I feel like I’m sitting through one of those internal monologues in some obscure absurd play downtown. You know the ones, with no plot, a lot of deep-felt emotions...”

Kara smiles despite herself. “OK, I get the point. You want the hard facts.”

“I do. Very much so.”

“Alright. Here are your hard facts. I’m a bigot. Plain and simple. I just couldn’t handle being in a gay bar playing happy couple with my best friend, dancing cheek to cheek, on the night of her birthday. Happy now?”

Lois blinks at her, her mouth slightly open, for once speechless. 

“We were having a great time and all of a sudden I-- I freaked out. I literally ran away. And now I can’t even look Cat in the eyes without feeling the same… shame, that I felt then. I know it’s stupid and it makes no sense at all, but that’s how it is. End of story.”

“Wow,” is all Lois says after a long silence.

“Yep.”

“You actually went to a gay bar.”

“We sure did.”

“The women-only kind. You and Cat.”

“That’s what I said, yes.”

“I am so very impressed. With both of you.”

“Lois, did you mishear the part where I completely lost it and let my friend down?”

“No, no. I’m just-- processing it, slowly. ”

“Well, hurry it up, because it’s almost five o’clock.”

“Hmm.” Lois lazily grazes her throat with her fingertips, seemingly unfazed by that piece of information. “You want to know what I’m thinking? I think it makes all the sense in the world.”

“What does? That I’m an uptight narrow-minded bigot and that it’s ruining my friendship?”

Lois nods. “Yes.”

Kara releases a bitter laugh. “That is comforting.”

“So it’s obvious what you need to do now, isn’t it?”

“It is?”

“You need to start dating,” Lois declares, matter-of-factly. “Men,” she adds.

Kara stares at her, blankly. She doesn’t know what she expected but it sure wasn’t this. “Really? That your big plan?”

Lois shrugs. “You want normal. Then go and get it.” 

Kara wants to dismiss the idea outright. She has absolutely no desire to date right now, she has way too many things on her mind to also worry about finding a boyfriend. But then again, wouldn’t that be the point? To find a way out of this impasse? As much as she hates to admit it, it’s not a completely outlandish notion. She has dated before. Just because it has never worked out for her doesn’t mean it’s never meant to be. There’s only one tiny problem.

“Even if I wanted to go down that road - which I am not saying I am - this whole dating business…” She looks down at her feet. “I am hopeless at it. Always have been. How do I even go about finding one?”

When she looks up, she sees Lois’s usual self-assured, unflappable grin spread all over her face. “Just leave that to me. Do you trust me?”

Kara takes a moment to come up with an honest answer to that question. 

“In a manner of speaking.” 

‘Not really’ would be more accurate. But it doesn’t seem fair to merely use someone as a sounding board without giving them the benefit of the doubt, at the very least. 

“That’s good enough for me. So we’re settled then,” Lois says, slapping her thighs as she hops off her chair. She beams at Kara. “I’m so glad we talked. It’s never healthy to keep everything bottled up for too long. Don’t you feel heaps better now that you poured it all out?”

“Um, Lois. I haven’t exactly said yes.”

“You haven’t?”

Kara shakes her head.

“Okay, not in so many words...” Lois says, as she slips on her coat. “But…”

“Not in any words,” Kara corrects. “I just don’t know if I’m ready right now.”

“Oh. I see. I’ll tell you what,” Lois continues, undeterred. “Why don’t I just stay on a little longer so we can go over the details with more calm?”

Kara shakes her head again. “That is an extremely unwise idea. Cat is bound to be back any minute now.” 

“I know, dear. That is all part of the plan.”

Kara rubs her forehead and sighs. This is a test from Rao. It has to be.

“OK, I’ll bite. How on earth getting your metaphorical head bitten off by my roommate would be in any way beneficial to you? Unless you have a death wish.”

“What can I say. I like living dangerously.”

Kara shoots her an unimpressed look. “Lois…”

“Alright,” she says. She drops her head back, eyes to the ceiling, and exhales theatrically. When she looks at Kara again she’s wearing the smile of defeat. “It’s confession time for me too. What happens in art class... right?”

Kara finds herself reluctantly nodding. 

“Very well,” Lois starts. “The thing is, believe it or not, I really do miss the old ice queen from hell. Her sharp tongue, her spiteful glances any time I walk by, her relentless need to step over anyone and anything to get what she wants... All of that.”

“Huh? But why?” 

“It keeps me on my toes. Drives me to succeed in that testosterone-filled pit more than anything I’ve ever experienced. Makes me a better reporter, even.”

“Careful,” Kara says. “You’re beginning to sound as if you actually like her.”

“I just like challenges,” she says with a dismissive shrug. “And she certainly is one.”

“You’re telling me,” Kara says, her tone unintentionally wistful.

“So. Now that you know my secret...” She twirls a strand of hair between her fingers. “Doesn’t that earn me just a little more time with my favourite art teacher?”

She can’t help but laugh at Lois’s utterly shameless and bewildering behaviour. It’s either that or hurling her out the window. 

“Well, you see, while I admire your honesty, you must understand that this new information is exactly the reason why you can’t stay. I can’t possibly assist you in your self-serving goals towards my friend, whom I love and respect more than-- more than you could ever imagine.”

“Of course,” she says, and for the first time since they met, Kara sees a flash of genuine vulnerability - even hurt? - in her eyes. “And I do. Understand. But it was worth a shot. Can’t fault a girl for trying.”

“I’m not saying it’s never gonna happen…” Kara adds hastily. 

“... Just not tonight,” Lois finishes, and Kara feels real guilt tighten her chest all of a sudden. It seems she’s doomed to make things as awkward and uncomfortable as possible with all of her girl friends - or potential ones in this case. Could it be that Lois simply craves their company for the sake of it? Could she just want to be part of their lives, without any hidden agenda? She can almost hear Cat’s vitriolic response to these musings, and winces internally.

“Anyway. Let me know when you’ve made up your mind about the dating thing. Valentine’s Day is just round the corner. It would be such a shame to miss the opportunity.” 

And with a wink and a blown kiss she’s out the door, leaving Kara feeling even more on edge than before.


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara goes on her date for Valentine’s Date and it changes everything

They say the night brings counsel. Kara’s never been one to believe in this earthly saying. It has always seemed a mere cop out to her, an easy way to procrastinate what should be decided here and now. Besides, sleep has rarely ever brought her anything more than painful dreams about her old home or uncomfortable, disturbing images she’s more than happy to forget in the morning. No, she much prefers acting on impulse, trusting her instincts, no matter how flawed or ill-advised they may be.

Except - she reminds herself -  this is not a life-and-death situation, nor is it of any urgency, despite what Lois says. It’s a silly matter and it should be treated as such, which is why she decides to put it at the back of her mind for the rest of the day and forget about it for the time being.

As expected the night does not bring counsel. It brings tossing and turning, intense and prolonged ceiling-staring and, eventually, a sudden overpowering craving for pie. And that is  why she finds herself inside a telephone box in downtown Chicago at 6 o’clock in the morning, soon after having stuffed her face with the best chocolate pecan pie in the country, feeling foolish and utterly un-herolike, twisting the cord around her finger while she talks to Lois’s work answering machine.

The rest of the day she spends it outside running errands - buying art supplies, taking new works to the gallery, dealing with the art director who passes on to her some commissions - two coffeehouses, a children’s library and an independent law firm, all requesting more kryptonian-style landscapes. She pays bills and buys groceries and averts a rush-hour crisis on the highway due to the last remnants of ice and slush on the roads, and she doesn’t make it home until late in the afternoon.

The window overlooking the street is dark but a quick tuning into Cat’s steady heartbeat tells her she’s home. She leaves her shopping bags by the door, takes off her sneakers and hangs the coat on the rack. The living room is empty and silent, but there’s a sliver of light spilling from the kitchen. She stops by the door and leans her head against the doorframe.

“Hi,” Kara says.

For a few long seconds she fears Cat isn’t going to acknowledge her presence. She’s sitting on one of their high stools by the island, idly dangling one bare foot. She’s still in her work clothes, a glass of amber liquid in her hands, eyes firmly set on the opposite wall. She’s silent long enough that Kara has time to notice the empty china plate beside the bottle of scotch, the dessert fork wiped clean, the soft brown crumbles scattered around it.

Only when she downs her drink Cat turns her head and regards her with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“That was some good pie.”

Kara grins. “I knew you’d like it.”

“Excellent, even.” She turns her head away again, runs a finger along the rim of her glass. “But I have a hard time believing you couldn’t find an equally worthy pie here in Metropolis without having to fly across half the country.”

“I--,” Kara blurts, “how did you--”

Cat rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on Kara. Supergirl doesn’t so much as flip her hair in a different way without making the front page. Did you really think your little Midwest stint would go unnoticed? I wouldn’t be surprised to see the baker who served you on the next Good Morning America.”

She sounds scornful and hurt and Kara doesn’t know where it’s coming from. This can’t be just about her early morning trip. She had brought pie after all. She takes a step back, tucks her hands in her pockets.

“Yes, well. I... I better get to the groceries, and, um… yeah,” she mumbles as she turns around.

“By the way,” Cat says, “your new BFF called.”

“Uh. My what now?” she asks when she returns from the hall. She lifts the plastic bags onto the counter and starts storing the coffee and sugar away.

“Little Miss Wispy Bangs,” Cat says.

Kara puts down a can of black beans and looks over her shoulders.  “You’re talking about Lois, aren’t you?”

So _this_ is what it is about. She should have known this would happen. She makes a mental note to start saving for one of those fancy portable phones everyone has on TV now. Or even a pager would do. Anything to avoid what’s coming next.

Cat grimaces. “A.K.A. the one whose weekly presence in this house shall remain blissfully ignored,” she says.

“Right. Sorry.”

“Thank you. Are there any M&M’s in there?”

Kara fishes them out and tosses them to her. Cat catches them with both hands. “Much better.”

“So, um. You’re saying she called?” Kara asks, trying to sound casual. There is nothing she should feel guilty about, nothing at all.

Cat pours a handful of colorful buttons onto her palm. “She at least had the decency to phone while I was out. Nonetheless, I still had the supreme displeasure of hearing her chirpy grating voice through the machine.”

Kara braces herself and holds her breath while Cat puts one M&M in her mouth.  “You know,” she starts calmly, “if all you needed from this arrangement was to bag yourself an escort for Hallmark day, you needn’t have asked a semi-stranger to provide you one.”

Kara blinks. “Wh-- Excuse me? An escort?”

“You’re probably going to get stuck with some useless dimwit lackey who will bore you out of your mind within the first five seconds. But by all means, go ahead, have your fun.”

Before she can think better of it, Kara crosses her arms and says, “Oh yeah? Do you speak from experience?”

It’s an ill-fitting, delicate limbo they’re in. Talking but not really saying anything, holding back, carefully avoiding to tread on any sensitive spot. So it takes Kara by surprise, her sudden dig at Cat’s personal life. She can’t explain to herself this pressing need to hear Cat’s answer, about something she has intensely stayed away from for so long, and yet, here she is, challenging Cat and the script they have followed for years.

As if to confirm this unscripted reality they’re now in, Cat doesn’t snarl at her, doesn’t even glare. She just averts her eyes and smiles bitterly.

“Touché,” she says. “Truly interesting men worthy of our attention are an extremely rare breed. And frankly, most of them are a hindrance. Can’t weigh yourself down with ties and commitments and--” she flicks her fingers in the air, “feelings. Not when you’re aiming for the top.”

“Why bother, then? If it-- _they_ mean nothing to you, why do you even bother?” Kara asks.

Cat looks her in the eye, lifts one shoulder. “Sex. Boredom. Distraction.”

Kara breathes in deep, tries to reign in a burst of sudden irritation. She feels cheated, somehow. Because of course here is Cat again, rehashing her old detached, jaded act that has nothing to do with who she really is and even though Kara knows this is a well-rehearsed act, it still stings. She doesn’t need this Cat now, and even though it’s completely irrational to demand this of her, she’s annoyed that Cat doesn’t realize it on her own.

“That… is profoundly sad.” And she means everything. Cat pretending to be a cold-hearted man-eater, the two of them still not being able to talk honestly. The possibility that Cat might be slowly turning into the person she tries so hard to appear. That if they keep going the way they are, Kara won’t be able to tell the difference one day.

“No, it isn’t. It’s just convenient,” Cat says. She gives her an apologetic smile and somehow it makes it worse. She doesn’t want to be patronized by Cat, not now. She needs to get out of this conversation before she lets it escalate. She purses her lips, feeling the irritation turning into real anger, dangerously bubbling up to the surface. She quickly finishes storing the groceries away and makes for the door without another word.

Cat stops her. She reaches out as Kara is walking by and hooks her fingers in hers. Just a light, loose touch. Doesn’t try to pull her in or to tighten her grip, the contact ends almost as quickly as it starts, but it’s enough to make Kara pause and look up.

Cat shakes her head. “You shouldn’t listen to a hardened cynic like me. You should go, meet someone. Enjoy it. Okay?”

Her voice is soft and soothing and there’s a tiny part of Kara who wants to give in to that feeling, who wishes to pull Cat in and seek comfort in her arms. But most of her is fighting the bigger urge to snap at her, to rebel against her condescending tone, to yell that she doesn’t need her permission or approval or whatever this is. She doesn’t snap though, she knows she doesn’t have any right to, when all she’s done recently is pull away, avoid, shut her out. How can she demand honesty from Cat now? And yet, frustration and disappointment are there, as irrational and uncalled for as they may be.

“Sure,” she says, under her breath. She closes the door behind her, resisting the urge to slam it.

One thing is certain. If she had been doubtful about her date before, she’s dead set now.

 

***

 

The first thing she thinks when she steps up to the little restaurant by the docks at 7pm on February 14th is that this is her kind of place. It’s busy, being Valentine’s day and all, but not rowdily so; a white wooden deck decorated with tiny fuchsia paper blossoms and twinkling fairy lights looks out over the bay; all tables are lit with candles burning from inside glass mason jars while the rest of the lighting is coming from the city skyline across the canal; there’s a small live jazz band playing in the far corner, but it’s quiet enough to not drown out a conversation; she can even hear the sea water sloshing beneath the deck without super hearing, and this, more than anything, calms her, gives her the final small push she needs to see this night through. She starts scanning the tables for her date. All she knows is that he has dark hair, that his name’s Philip and that he’s a musician. Soon a tall guy with a mop of messy dark hair walks up to her. He’s holding a bouquet of wild flowers.

“Kara?”

“Hi, yes. You must be Philip,” she says.

They stand there for a few awkward seconds, unsure of what to do next, until Kara says, “So, those are for me, huh?” pointing at the flowers.

“Right, yes. I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I got a mix of, well, everything.” He hands them out to her and she takes them.

“They’re lovely,” Kara says, smiling. “Thank you.”

“By the way, I booked a table outside, it’s so much more beautiful out here. But they can move us inside if you’re cold.”

There’s a light breeze and the air is cool and fresh on her face but she knows it’s perfectly bearable for a human properly covered in warm clothes as she is.

“No, no, this is perfect. I don’t… I don’t mind the cold.”

“Great,” he grins. “Me neither. Shall we?”

She follows him to their table, it’s right by the edge of the deck, away from the jazz band and next to the banister. All the tables around are occupied by young couples, whispering, holding hands on the tables, looking into each other’s eyes. Kara is not sure how to feel about this. It’s too early to decide whether she likes the guy or not, but the place is nice and apparently it serves the best seafood in town so she might as well enjoy the night.

She’s grateful that he doesn’t try to be overly chivalrous by pulling the chair out for her; he just sits across from her and smiles.

“Thank you for coming, Kara. Blind dates aren’t usually what I go for. But Lois-- well, Lois can be pretty convincing.”

Kara laughs. “She can indeed. Have you known her a long time?”

“Oh, yes, we go way back. College.”

“And she said you’re a musician? What do you play?”

They make perfectly comfortable small talk while they wait for the server to take their order; he tells her he’s in a rock band, travels the world, but would like to settle one day; she tells him about her job and they talk about the difficulties of making a living with one’s art alone, and pretty soon she realizes how surprisingly easy it is to talk to him; he seems interested just the right amount, he listens, he asks relevant questions and she starts to unwind, lets her shoulders relax; it doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s just a silly date, she tells herself, but she doesn’t find it hard to keep an open mind.

The waiter brings them the menu along with two glasses of complimentary prosecco, so they clink their glasses and sip it, taking a break from their constant chatting. While he studies the menu she takes a moment to study him, trying to gauge how she feels. He’s certainly good-looking and he doesn’t have dirty fingernails or greasy hair or bad breath. He’s pleasant and he’s charming; he’s… he’s fine. Try as she might, despite the easiness between them and the general pleasantness, she can’t stir any deeper emotions than that. He’s fine and the place is lovely and she can’t wait to have the food in front of her, so she focuses on that and forgets about the rest for now. She orders a lobster sandwich, mussel soup, prawn skewers and fried calamari as the guy looks at her utterly amused.

“Are you sure that’s enough?” he laughs.

“I don’t know”, she says seriously. “But I want to leave some room for dessert.”

The guy laughs again, orders a more reasonable amount of food and a bottle of white wine and they settle back to chatting about anything and everything and it’s all going perfectly fine, so much so that Kara has to constantly ask herself what it is that she’s missing. Maybe it’s her, maybe it’s a Kryptonian thing, maybe it’s genetic that she isn’t attracted to humans, she doesn’t have it in her blood.

The food is positively divine, though, which means the conversation is reduced to a bare minimum until she’s finished every last crumb of her chocolate and raspberry tart, licking the spoon clean.

“And that, my friend,” she says, dropping the spoon as if it was a mike, “is how you do a tart justice.”

The guy props his chin on his palm and grins. “You mean ‘destroy’.”

Kara shrugs. “I don’t make the rules.”

The guy, or Philip as she should probably start calling him, shakes his head slightly and sighs, looking out over the bay. “This place is really something, isn’t it?”

Kara nods. “Good choice.”

He makes an apologetic face. “Actually, it wasn’t mine. It was Lois’s. I asked for her help and she delivered.”

“Oh. Well. Then good job asking her.”

Philip chuckles. “See, I have a little confession to make. I’m not a great believer in this whole  yearly collective celebration of love,” he air quotes. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am very glad I got to meet you, and tonight has been great. And you’re probably going to think I’m just playing the cool rock ‘n roll dude, but... I don’t know, I think it actually kinda cheapens it.”

“It?”

Philip pauses, shrugs. “Love.”

Kara is caught off guard which might explain why she blurts out her response without thinking. “Oh, I wouldn’t know about that.”

Philip frowns and tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

Kara smiles apologetically, adjusts her glasses. “I’ve just never been in love, so I can’t judge.”

“Oh.” He looks startled, as if that option had never occurred to him. “Ever?”

Kara shakes her head. “Sorry.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Starting to make me feel awkward here,” she chuckles.

He puts his hands up. “God, no, I’m sorry. It’s just--,” he pauses, looks away towards the city blinking in the distance, purses his lips, seemingly deep in thought, until Kara thinks maybe she has to say something to remind him she’s still there. But then he takes a long deep breath and leans over, looking her straight in the eyes. ”Has there really never been anyone who has made your life worth living?”

“Um…”

Who has made your stomach flutter, your chest burn with longing, your heart race with anticipation?”

“Well...”

“Someone who you think about constantly, who is the first thing on your mind in the morning, the last one at night; someone who fills your dreams and your nightmares and whose presence makes everything brighter, softer, warmer. Someone who you’d want to spend the rest of your life with, whose smile fills your whole world, whose opinion matters the most and whose imperfections are perfect to you. Someone who is so far above anything else that they make the rest seem dull and lifeless in comparison.”

She has been listening with her eyes wide, her hands trembling, her pulse hammering in her ears, faster and faster. When he stops talking there’s only one thought repeating in her head over and over.

Oh no. Oh no no no.  

She slams her hands to her mouth. “It can’t be,” she murmurs. “It just can’t.”

“Kara, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asks, reaching for her arm.

She shakes her head. “No. I’m sorry, I just--”

Because of course there is only one person who fits that description to the letter, the only one who has ever made her feel this way and--

How could she have been so blind, all this time?

How has this happened without her knowing? She feels so stupid.

“Kara, you’re scaring me.”

She wants to get up, wants to fly away from there as fast as possible. But as soon as she tries to stand, she stops. She feels lightheaded and her stomach is in knots.

“I’m okay. I’m fine. It’s fine,” she says, gripping the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white.

I’ve only just realised I’m in love with my best friend. That I’ve always been in love with her. Sure, no big deal. It happens all the time, business as usual. She chuckles at the absurdity of this whole mess, then looks up to meet Philip’s quizzical stare.   

“Why do I feel like I need to put a blanket around you right now?” he says. He sounds as if he’s trying to make a joke but his face is genuinely concerned. “Your face has gone paler than this candle. We can leave if you want? Do you want to leave?”

Kara swallows hard and nods. “I’m sorry. I--”

“No need for apologies. We’ll just go for a walk, alright? You don’t need to explain anything.”

He pulls out his wallet, leaves the money on the table. She stands up still feeling queasy, still feeling like her world has turned upside down and she’s the only one left standing the wrong way. She looks at the bouquet still lying on the table where she had left it and feels a pang of regret for the start of that night, when she was still oblivious and hopeful and open to anything the night could bring. She grabs it, sticks it in her purse. He offers his arm and, to her surprise, she takes it. She’s grateful for the support. Despite her initial reaction, she’s not ready to be left alone with her thoughts.

They reach the boardwalk and start walking towards the city lights. The light breeze ruffles her hair and she pushes it off her face with her free hand. It’s cold enough now that they both breathe out little puffs of white air from their mouths. He shoves his free hand in the pocket of his coat and exhales.

“This is not how I expected to end the night,” she starts.

He chuckles lightly. “No? And how did you expect it would end?”

She shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know, but not--” A sudden thought strikes her and she lets go of his arm, stopping in her tracks. “Wait a minute, did Lois put you up to this?”

He frowns.“Put me up to what?”

“Did she instruct you on what to talk about? Prepare you in any way?”

“OK, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but contrary to popular belief, I don’t need prepping to go on dates.”

“No, I don’t mean that. It’s just… You seemed awfully knowledgeable about this whole “being in love” business. I thought maybe that you’d--”

He smiles and shrugs. “ I’m no expert, I’ve just had my heart broken big time. That’s all. Just speaking from experience.”

“Oh. I see,” she says. She pauses, then says, “I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t respond. He just keeps walking and after a brief moment she follows him.

“You haven’t answered my question, earlier,” he says, after a long silence. “Something tells me that the answer is yes. There is someone. Am I right?”

Kara bites her bottom lip before answering. The wave of anxiety that had briefly left her comes rushing back in. But she can’t keep running away from it, she’s run away long enough.

She nods. “Yes. There is. I’ve just… never seen it before, I guess.”

“It figures. Sometimes the hardest things to see are those right in front of our noses. We’re just so used to living with them that we don’t realise what they mean, until someone points them out to us.”

“Even something as big as this?” Kara asks.

“Especially,” he nods.

And she still feels like the dumbest person in the galaxy and she knows that she’s completely screwed, that it’s not something she can fight with super strength or leave behind with super speed, she has no idea how on earth she’ll ever deal with this, and yet in this moment, she feels strangely comforted. She can go back to panicking in a minute, for now she’ll just enjoy the walk.


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet and sweet interlude before the storm

It’s another sleepless night for Kara and she spends it outside, flying aimlessly. She’s not ready to face being at home yet. Her first instinct is to fly to the Fortress. This is uncharted territory for her, she can’t do this on her own, she needs help. Except, what good would that do? Does she really think that her parents would have provided her with information on how to navigate feelings for your best friend, who also happens to be a woman? They wouldn’t even have been able to comprehend such a concept. All that’s left for her now is anger. Anger at herself for being this way, for feeling things she has no right to feel, anger at her own blindness. When she tries to suppress her anger, shame replaces it. She can’t help but feel like she’s betraying her heritage, her whole house. Nobody in her family ever even dared talk about same sex relationships; the few times she had heard of such things she had overheard them whispered in corridors; at best they were alluded to by her friends as something to mock or be scared of. She had been too young to really learn anything more. That’s all she has to go on, whispers and rumors. And it’s not like Earth has shown itself to be more open than that, regardless of what Lois says. People are still hiding in special bars, away from public scrutiny. They have vulgar words especially devised to describe and offend homosexuals. Even saying the word makes her squirm, makes her think of sordid affairs and illicit encounters in dark alleys. That’s not who she is, it’s not how she feels. She’s vaguely aware of being a victim of the social norm, which has covered the word in dirt to make it sound alien and wrong. And she knows all about feeling alien, like she doesn’t belong. But knowing this doesn't help. It just makes her angrier, makes her feel even more alien.

She comes home at dawn and crashes on her bed on top of the covers, with her suit on. A quick check before falling asleep tells her Cat hasn’t come home tonight. She has no strength left in her to feel anything but exhaustion.

***

When she wakes up she’s more restless than ever, and because she can’t keep flying until things clear up in her head, she cleans the house for the rest of the day instead. She starts with her room, she dusts every inch of it, mops it, changes the sheets, beats the carpets and washes the curtains; she then moves on to the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, in the hope that keeping her hands busy will automatically translate into keeping her mind busy too. No such luck. Flashes of memories of Cat keep playing in her head mercilessly. Them cuddling up on the sofa, their fingers entangled under the blanket; them keeping each other warm in bed, falling asleep listening to each other’s heartbeats; casually hugging and combing each other’s hair and dancing a slow dance so close there is no space left for breathing. All those times, in every single one of those moments, she had been completely in love with her. It seems so clear now, so obvious. And her head won’t leave her alone, it has to keep screaming it at her.

Once she’s done deep cleaning the house, it’s not dinner time yet and her head is still spinning with thoughts of Cat, so she calls the Kents - she hasn’t talked to them in a while and she’s glad to just hear their voices, talk to Kal-El, make sure everything is fine. Martha asks if she’s okay and she lies, of course she’s okay, never been better. She knows Martha can see through her but doesn’t push her and she’s grateful for that. Then she gets dressed and heads to town. She walks all the way to the gallery, chats to the secretary, signs some new prints; she walks the long way back, crosses the big park, looks at the ducks, at the kids laughing in the playground and takes her time sketching people, the late afternoon sunlight coming through the leaves in the trees, the pigeons, the ducks, and it’s no use. She’s in love with Cat and there’s not much she can do about it, she can’t fight it anymore. As she’s walking slowly home, she decides that all she can do now is try to repair the damage her obliviousness has caused. For starters, she can stop hurting her, pushing her away. She can own up to her own mess and be the good friend and flatmate Cat deserves. It’s not Cat’s fault that she feels this way, she can’t keep making her pay for that. As for the rest, well, she doesn’t think further than that. She’s not the first person with an unrequited crush and she won’t be the last. She’ll survive.

***

She starts with making dinner, keeps it simple, just a stir-fry, some rice, a big salad, doesn’t even use her powers once. She doesn’t know when or even if Cat is coming home, but she does it anyway. Cleans up after herself and then sets the coffee table in the living room, because it’s cozier and warmer there, and she knows that Cat prefers it in the evening.  
She eventually does come home. It’s dark out and the dinner is cold, but Kara hasn’t put it away yet. She hasn’t eaten either and she’s starving but she’s determined to make this right. She hears the lock turning and her heart starts racing. Okay, she tells herself, you got this, you can face her, it’s the same old Cat, nothing has changed. Except, she knows that’s a lie, nothing will ever be the same.

She jumps up, smooths down her pants, dries her sweaty palms, tucks her loose hair behind her ears and walks up to Cat with a big, wide smile on her face.

“Hi! You’re home!” she says.

Cat tilts her head, narrows her eyes slightly as she hunches down to remove her heels.

“Yes,” she says, slowly, sounding suspicious. “I am. What’s with the excited puppy treatment?”

Hearing her voice is enough to send her melting into a puddle of longing. But she’s dealt with this feeling for years even when she didn’t know what it was, she’s an expert at shoving it aside and pretending everything is normal.

“Nothing,” she says, still smiling her best smile. “I’m just glad you’re home.”

Cat groans. “Ugh, I’m glad too. Longest day ever. Please tell me there’s food ready or I’m going to pass out.”

Kara beams even more, if that’s possible. “Yes! I made dinner, just give me a second while I heat it up.”

Within five minutes she has the food plated and piping hot on the coffee table again.

“Um, Kara? Has the cleaning fairy been visiting us or…” Cat says, looking around.

“Oh, right, that was… that was me. I just had a lot of time on my hands so..."

Cat lets herself sag down gracefully on the sofa - and how she even does that is a mystery for the ages - and exhales loudly. “You are a godsend, have I ever told you that?”

Kara feels her chest swell with warmth, feels it all the way down to her toes. She nods. “On multiple occasions.”

“And I was right on all of them,” Cat says, pointing the fork at her, before she takes her first bite.

They eat in comfortable silence, with the TV on at the lowest volume, until Cat stretches her legs in front of her and asks, casually, “So, you seem to be in a good mood. I take it your date went well last night?”

Kara makes a conscious effort to not tense up. She nods. “Yes, actually, it was… really nice.” She can’t bring herself to look Cat in the eye so she just keeps staring at the screen.

“Oh. Good. Great,” Cat says. “So, are you gonna see him again?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Why ever not?”

“Oh, no reason. He just wasn’t, you know…” she clears her throat. “What about you, anyway? You didn’t come home last night. Must have been quite a date.”

Cat pouts and lifts one shoulder. “It was adequate, I suppose. I didn’t absolutely die of boredom.”

Kara shouldn’t feel so relieved by Cat’s lack of enthusiasm for her night out, and yet. She presses her lips together, trying to suppress a smile.

“Wow. A ringing endorsement.”

Cat looks at her sideways but doesn’t retort.

“Anyway…” Kara says. “I was thinking I should do more. I need to branch out, you know, with my work? There’s a children’s art project near the big park and I thought, I could propose something to do with them? Like a kids workshop, maybe.”

Cat nods. “Yes, that’s a great idea, I like it. You’re good with kids.”

Kara beams and Cat keeps nodding, looking pensive. “I’m branching out too,” she says. “I feel like I’m stuck in the same place and not going anywhere. It’s not good enough.”

“Okay…” Kara says slowly.

“I’ve been looking around, for a good story to follow up, something that would show I can do more than reporting on the latest boob jobs. And I’ve come across this.” She picks up her handbag and fishes out a manila folder, hands it to Kara.

Kara looks at the name on the tag on top. Morgan Edge. Kara frowns. “The president of Galaxy Communications? One of the richest and most powerful man in the country?”

Cat raises one eyebrow and nods. “And apparently also the criminal mastermind behind Intergang.”

“Whoa, Cat, are you serious?” Kara says. “This is huge. The police have been trying to expose that organization for years. You’re saying he’s behind it?”

“Well. The feds haven’t been able to prove the link yet. But it seems very likely, yes. He just has a lot of friends.”

“The feds? Oh my God, Cat, how did you even get hold of this intel?”

She shrugs dismissively. “I have my ways.”

“I don’t know,” Kara says, shaking her head. “This could be very dangerous. I know you want to climb the ladder and everything but, isn’t this a bit much to take on all on your own? I mean…”

Cat snatches the folder from Kara’s hands. “I’m well aware of the risks. But no one has ever achieved greatness by playing it safe. This could change everything.”

“Or it could get you killed.”

Cat chuckles dryly and looks away. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“No, I just meant-- You shouldn’t be doing this alone. Let me help you. I want to help you.”

“No,” she says. “I can do this on my own, thank you very much.”

“I know you can. Believe me, I know. You’re smart and fearless and relentless and I can’t think of anyone more capable than you for this. I mean, I don’t even know how you were able to get this from the feds. But these people… Cat, I’ve seen what they can do, they’re ruthless. And it’s not a job for one single investigative reporter. You need a team.” She pauses for effect and then says, “I am your team.”

Cat smiles and shakes her head. “You’re not gonna let this one go, are you?”

“Not in a million years.”

Cat purses her lips, but Kara can see she’s trying hard not to smile. “Fine. Whatever. But I’m the boss. You can be my assistant.”

Kara gives her a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

Cat grimaces. “Ugh. No, don’t do that.”

“Sorry.” She tries to sound contrite and serious but it’s hard. Yes, this could be potentially life-threatening, but she’s going to be working side by side with Cat, helping her achieve her dream and she can hardly contain her excitement. All she has to do is keep Cat safe and hasn’t she been doing exactly that since they met?

She looks at Cat who has her head down, flipping through the report; her hair illuminated by the soft light of the lamp looks even more golden and shiny tonight and the way it’s brushing her cheek so delicately makes Kara want to reach out and touch it just as lightly, run her fingers through her curls, push them aside ever so gently, lean over and--

Kara blinks. No, she can’t do this. She’s never let herself fantasize about Cat like that, she can’t start now. She sticks a smile on her face and straightens her back. “Hey,” she starts, her voice steady and clear. “Do you want to finally try out that new game, Diplomacy?”

Cat drops the folder on her lap and tilts her head. She pauses, studying her, the hint of an uncertain smile on her lips. For a moment it seems like she’s going to ask her something, but then she just broadens her smile and says, “Sure.”

“Great! Just give me a moment, I’ll clear the table.”

Cat goes to stand up to help her but Kara says, “No no no, you sit down. Let me do this. Just relax, alright?”

Cat studies her again from the sofa, regards her with a curious look, but then her gaze softens and she just nods and sits back again without questioning her, which is good enough for Kara. She doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, doesn’t want to spell out her apology and make it awkward again, but she can tell Cat knows what she’s doing and is happy to leave it unspoken between them, their rediscovered silent understanding better than any words.

When she’s finished cleaning up the table Cat pulls up the board game from under the TV and she starts reading the instructions. Kara grabs a blanket and lays it over their laps and Cat folds her legs up, stretches them so that her toes are touching Kara’s; she wiggles them and Kara wiggles back and they both smile without looking at each other and maybe things aren’t what they used to be and there are still quite a few things they’ll have to work out but Kara thinks that this moment right here is pretty much perfect the way it is.


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things happen (or do they)

Cat eventually manages to get hired at Galaxy Broadcasting, where she starts reporting live on local news - small robberies, traffic accidents and the likes - occasionally showing up conveniently at the exact spots where Supergirl just happens to be doing one of her standard heroic acts, thus granting her praise and trust from her superiors at the WGBS TV station, all the while doing undercover work, taking notes on any suspicious activities and rooting around unnoticed through her new boss’s files. After weeks of snooping around, she finds a substantial lead which unequivocally incriminates Morgan Edge and she follows it; Supergirl doesn’t have much more to do than be her glorified bodyguard, keeping her senses magnified up to eleven, watching out for her from a distance, hovering around to let Cat show the world what she’s made of.

In the end, Cat alerts the cops as she brings her crew to the shady Intergang headquarters, filming Supergirl as she busts their secret meeting in the most razzle-dazzle display of ass-kicking moves. All for the camera, of course.  
It’s a triumph and everything that Kara has ever wanted for Cat. She flies away as soon as the villains are handcuffed and off to jail, and lets Cat have all the glory. They’ll celebrate later at home.

***

She thinks champagne is definitely warranted for this occasion so she makes a quick pit stop after changing back into civilian clothes in a telephone booth. Then she goes back home, waiting for Cat. She orders her favorite Thai take-out, determined to keep treating her, even though she doesn’t feel like she needs to keep apologizing. She just wants to make tonight special in every way. It’s her night, after all. When she hears the engine of the cab pulling over she knows it’s her. She can’t contain herself, she rushes to the door, opens it and wraps her arms around Cat’s waist, lifting her up. Cat laughs and puts her own arms around Kara’s neck as she whirls her around the hall.

“You did it!” Kara says. “You did it! I’m so proud of you.”

She puts Cat down but keeps her arms around her, too happy to let her go yet.

“We did it, Supergirl,” Cat corrects her. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“That is a lie and you know it. It was all you. I just stormed in on cue and punched a few bad guys. You’re the mastermind of this entire operation.”

“Yes, well, I was pretty spectacular, there’s no denying that.”

“Totally. Which means, we need to celebrate.” Kara reluctantly releases Cat from her arms and stalks to the kitchen, where she opens the fridge and grabs the champagne bottle. She pops it open and pours two generous glasses for both of them.

She raises her glass and says, “To your imminent Pulitzer prize for investigative reporting.”

Cat rolls her eyes but she still clinks her glass to Kara’s.

“So what’s the plan now? Are you going back to the Daily Planet?” Kara asks.

Cat nods. “Perry White has assured me tonight I’ll always have a place there if I want it.” She scoffs. “Of course he did, what a hypocrite. I told him if he wants me back he’s gonna have to do much better than keeping me stuck in Entertainment. So we’re discussing our new arrangements when I’m going in tomorrow.”

“Awesome,” Kara says.

“But I liked reporting live on TV. The cameras do love me. So I’ll see if I can keep both jobs as soon as the dust settles at the TV station.”

“Wow. This is so…,” Kara shakes her head. “Wow. I know I was half-joking about the Pulitzer Prize thing but this is real. You’re going to be famous. It’s happening.”

Cat waggles both her eyebrows and gives her the cutest grin, making the corners of her eyes crinkle and Kara hasn’t seen this kind of carefree genuine smile on Cat for so long it fills up her whole heart.

Cat finishes her champagne and takes a deep breath. “Hey,” she says, “you know, I’m really glad we’re back to normal.” She reaches out and grabs Kara’s fingers in hers and squeezes them. And Kara smiles and can only nod and squeeze back because things are as far from normal as they’ve ever been and they’re never going back to the way they were. But if it means that she can keep Cat happy and safe and with her, than she’ll do whatever it takes. She’ll smile, she’ll help, she’ll support her. Anything to see that radiant open smile on her lips, over and over again, for the rest of her life. Cat is happy and it’s partly thanks to her and that is all that matters now.

 

***

  
It happens the next day. She had been ready for another night of Cat basking in her newfound acclaim and Kara being content to live off Cat’s self-satisfied radiance. She would even let her win at Scrabble and let her have the last potsticker. But when she climbs the steps to their apartment, she can sense things are off. There’s nothing obviously screaming at her telling her to tread carefully, but she knows. Still, she’s not prepared. She thinks she can handle a distressed Cat. She’s done it countless of times, she knows she’s good at it, practice makes perfect. So even though she hadn’t expected to find Cat sitting rigidly on their couch in the dark, hands on her knees, eyes red and swollen, staring into space, she thinks okay, time to play the good comforting friend, I’ve got this. She sheds her coat, slips off her shoes, leaves their take-out on the table and goes to sit gingerly beside her.

“Hey,” she starts. Just a tentative whisper, softly breaking the fragile silence Cat is immersed in.

Cat doesn’t respond, just grips her knees harder. Kara hadn’t thought she would. She knows she needs time, she always does.

“I’m here for you, when you want to talk, okay?”

She sees Cat’s forehead crinkle and then all at once she crumbles. She covers her mouth and lets her head drop with a muffled sob.

Kara shifts closer, puts an arm around Cat’s shoulders and tugs gently. Cat lets herself fall limply into her arms and keeps sobbing silently into her hand. Kara rubs her back in slow circles and makes soft soothing noises. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, I’m here, it’s okay.” She repeats those words as a mantra, letting Cat cry for as long as she needs. When her sobs have subsided a little, Cat sniffs and rubs the back of her hand over her nose.

“I got your shirt all wet,” is the first thing she says. Her voice is still broken, but she’s stopped crying, at least.

Kara chuckles lightly. “I don’t mind.”

“I didn’t mean for you to find me like this, I--”

Kara rests her hand on Cat’s leg. “It’s okay. I’m glad I’m here for you.”

Cat shakes her head and looks away, pulls her lips in, trying to suppress another sob.

“Give me a second, I’ll get you a--.” Kara is on her feet before she can finish the sentence. She speeds to her room, grabs a packet of tissues and returns handing one to her. “Here.”

Cat looks down at the tissue and smiles. “Thank you.” She dabs at her eyes, sniffs again. “My mother called.”

Kara is not surprised. She can’t imagine what her problem is this time, any mother should be more than proud to claim Cat as her daughter, especially now, but she knows that when Cat’s mother is involved, nothing good can come out of it.

“I think she meant to congratulate me,” Cat frowns and seems to be trying to collect her thoughts on what actually happened. “At least that’s what she said, at first. And then of course she had to piss all over it and make me feel like a piece of absolute shit.” She goes for a bitter laugh but it soon turns into another sob. Kara squeezes her thigh and starts rubbing her thumb on it. Cat takes a deep breath before continuing. “She questioned my methods, how I managed to get hold of the intel, how I got hired at the station. She accused me… oh god, I can’t...” She scrunches up her face and she’s taken over again by uncontrollable sobs. Kara doesn’t know what else to do but pull her in once more, hold her tight, cradle her tiny shaking frame and whisper in her ear.

“She’s wrong. Whatever she said, she’s wrong.” She pushes Cat’s hair off her forehead and places a soft kiss on it. “You’re amazing. You’re strong and smart and brave.” She kisses her forehead again as she repeats the same words to her, over and over, until Cat calms down a little. Then Kara pulls her back to lift her chin up with her finger; she looks into her eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Listen to me. I’m not saying this to make you feel better, okay? I truly, honestly believe that you are the most wonderful human being I know and the world is so lucky to have you. I am so lucky to have you.”

She’s been looking into Cat’s eyes the whole time and Cat has been looking back, her eyelashes still glistening with tears, her lips trembling, her cheeks flushed, and Kara is too busy pouring her whole soul into convincing Cat that she’s good enough that she doesn’t realize it’s happening until it is. Her hands are cupping Cat’s face - she hadn’t realized that either - and it starts so naturally, so smoothly that she watches it happening in slow motion, all her senses tuning into this moment - Cat’s heart thumping, Cat’s wet cheeks, Cat’s warm breath filling the space between them - and suddenly there’s a quick shift and that space is gone, replaced by Cat and her big eyes staring at her, looking anguished and terrified and vulnerable and all her world is reduced to this, to Cat leaning in, her lips impossibly close to hers, all Kara has to do is sit here and let it unfold, let Cat close the gap and--

Kara pulls back. “No, wait,” she says. “Stop.” She stands up, needing to put some distance between them.

Cat is stunned for a second and then her eyes widen and she slams her hand to her mouth, as if suddenly awakened from a spell.

“I-- I didn’t...” She’s frozen in her seat and Kara has never seen her like this. She looks completely lost. “I don’t know what-- oh shit.”

Kara rubs her temples, feeling out of her depth. She takes a step forward and sits again, but has no idea what to say, absolutely none.

“Cat,” she tries. “It’s okay. It was nothing…”

Cat shakes her head. “No, don’t.” She puts a hand up. “Don’t say anything, please.” She takes her bag, stands up and walks to her bedroom. She shuts the door behind her and Kara hears the soft thud of Cat’s body falling on her bed.

Kara sits there, replaying the last moments in her head, trying to process what just happened. Deep in her heart she knows she did the right thing. She wanted more than anything in the world to be weak for once, to have that moment all for herself, to be selfish. But she couldn’t, not when Cat was in such a defenseless, delicate place. It felt too much like taking advantage, it just wasn’t right. Cat wouldn’t have wanted that, had she been in her right mind, she knows it.

So why does the right decision have to be so painful? Why does she feel like she was just at a crossroad and completely missed her turn?


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara is in the doghouse.

The last thing she wants is to go back to how things were before her date. She has to fix this, before it escalates and gets out of control. She tries in the morning, knocks at Cat’s door, but Cat doesn’t respond. A quick check tells her she’s gone already. That’s fine, it doesn’t mean anything, she’ll try again in the evening. Or better still, she’ll ring her office. But when she does, a stranger answers her phone, tells her Cat is out, and when Kara asks when she’ll be back, she’s told that she probably won’t be. She sighs and tells herself she can talk to Cat in the evening, when she’s home. Except Cat doesn’t come home that night. Kara doesn’t leave the house the next day, determined to catch her at some point. Rings her office countless of times, even tries ringing the TV station, after finding the number in the phone book. But it’s all for nothing. Cat seems to be untraceable. She does catch her eventually, in the middle of the day, at what usually is her lunch break. Cat doesn’t say hello when she comes in, goes straight for her bedroom, but Kara is not about to let her chance slip. She barges in and Cat shoots her an angry glare. Not a great start.

“Have you ever heard of a concept called personal privacy? You should try it sometimes,” Cat says, as she rummages through her wardrobe.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Kara says, ignoring her protests. Good, straight to the point, no stuttering, no hesitations.

“Am not,” Cat says.

“You’re not even looking at me now,” Kara insists.

“I just need to get a change of clothes. I’m staying at Jonathan’s tonight, haven’t I told you?”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Oh. Must have slipped my mind. Anyway, I don’t have much time so…”

“Cat, please,” Kara says, trying a softer approach. “We need to talk. Can’t you just stop for a minute?”

To her credit, Cat stops rummaging through her stuff and turns to face her, hand on hip, lips pursed. “What is there to talk about?” she asks.

“About what happened? The other day? I just wanted to say…”

“All it happened is that my mother is a giant jealous asshole and I’m an idiot for even listening to her.”

“Yes, well, that’s not what--”

Cat rolls her eyes and goes back to stuffing clothes in an overnight bag. “Kara, I really need to go, and I already know what you’re going to say. That I was vulnerable, I didn’t know what I was doing, that you’re protecting me. Am I right?” She actually stops and looks at Kara expectantly.

“Um, okay, yes, but--”

Cat chuckles bitterly. “See, no need to have this conversation. I’m off. I haven’t eaten yet and I need to be back at the station in like...” she looks at her watch, “twenty minutes ago. Alright, bye.” She hoists her bag on her shoulder and is out the door without another word.  
Once again Kara is left there dumbfounded, at a complete loss as to what she should do.

So she goes back to what she knows. Protecting her city, punching bad guys, saving people. Her life is a mess and she might not have any idea as to how to fix it or how it even happened, but at least she has this to fall onto. If everything else fails, she can be Supergirl. Kara Kent has to take a step back for now.

***

She gets a little too confident, a little too reckless. The city is still grateful, she’s still worshipped, but she knows she’s taking increasingly high risks; she’s starting to feel invincible, and it’s addictive so she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t seem to do no wrong; all she needs to do is appear to make crowds cheer and clap.  
So she’s not prepared when she’s at home one night, watching the news, hoping to see Cat holding her mic, reporting on her latest close call rescue, and Cat appears at the door instead of on TV. She is leaning on the wall in the hall, arms crossed, face unreadable.

Kara smiles hesitantly. “Hey. Been there long?”

“You know I haven’t.”

At that moment, Kara hears Cat’s voice coming from the screen and she turns around to watch her. As expected, she is reporting about Kara but she lacks the enthusiastic flair she usually uses for Supergirl. She doesn’t exactly criticize her, but her tone is flat, almost unimpressed.

Kara turns the TV off.

“You should be careful”, she hears Cat say, still keeping her distance. “You’re coddling them. You don’t want people getting too comfortable. It’ll make them feel too safe.”

“There is no such thing as feeling too safe,” Kara says.

Cat scoffs. “Of course there is,” she says, dryly.

And with that, she pushes her hip off the wall and goes to the kitchen. She comes out of it a moment later holding a bottle of some hard liquor in one hand and a glass in the other and goes to her room. Kara doesn’t even know if she eats anymore. They haven’t shared a meal in days and she’s never here at dinner time. When she’s here at all. Kara doesn’t feel like facing another rejection from Cat tonight. She knows things won’t get better on their own, she’s learned her lesson, but she might just wait for the right moment. And now it just isn’t it.

***

Except there aren’t any more moments. Because Cat is working two jobs and she’s got a boyfriend who suddenly has become a constant in her life and when she is home she’s always in her room, locked, and Kara is at her wit’s end.

She hasn’t seen Lois since before The Date, mostly because she wasn’t ready to deal with her smug face and her _I told you so_ ’s, but now she doesn’t know where else to turn. She needs an outsider’s perspective. She asks her to meet her at a coffee shop, one that is carefully out of Cat’s range, and they meet one Sunday afternoon, for the first time without the pretense of an art lesson. She knows they wouldn’t get anything done, and anyway, Lois seems to have lost interest. She’s into playing the violin now, she tells her on the phone. Or more likely she’s into the violin teacher, Kara thinks.

Kara gets there early and it’s a new café for her so of course she has to sample their whole selection of sweet pastries. She also orders a caramel macchiato grande with cream on top and is about to tackle a huge chocolate and strawberry eclair when Lois joins her.

“That bad, huh?” she says, eyeing the display on the table.

Kara regretfully puts the eclair down for now. “Hi,” she smiles. “Want one?”

Lois shakes her head no. “I’m alright. I have to work to look this good. Unlike some people.”

“The truth is I’m from another planet sent out on a secret mission to test every single dish on Earth and report back to my mothership.”

Lois narrows her eyes. “You’re so funny. I’m going to get an espresso. Black.”

She returns a few minutes later with her coffee and takes a seat across from her. “So? I’m all ears. What did you do this time?”

“Nothing!”

Lois just glares and sips her coffee.

“Well, okay, I _didn’t_ do something.”

“Alright, I’ll start again. What didn’t you do?”

“I didn’t let her kiss me.”

Lois spits coffee all over her jacket. “Girl!” she says, when she’s put her cup down and dabbed at her coffee-stained lapel. “The least you can do is give me a heads up when you’re about to drop a bombshell like that.”

“Sorry,” Kara grimaces.

Lois waves her hands in the air. “Never mind that, just… start from the beginning. You’re saying that Cat tried to kiss you but you stopped her, lord knows why ‘cause you’re obviously head over heels in love with her and you can’t deny that, I was right all along on that one.”

“Philip filled you in, huh?”

“I figured it out. He just told me you had some kind of shocking existential epiphany, which by the way, I did not orchestrate, contrary to what you might suspect. I just thought, hey, I know this cute guy who has had his heart broken recently and there’s this other cute girl who is in denial but who knows, they might be right for each other. And if not you might come to your senses. It was a win-win situation,” she grins.

“Of course,” Kara says.

“But again, back to this situation….” Lois says, expectantly.

“Yes. Well. It just sort of… happened? I was comforting her, she was really upset about what her mother said about… something and I was holding her and telling her how amazing she is and then she just kind of leaned forward and I knew, I knew that if I didn’t move, if I just sat there and didn’t move, she was going to kiss me and…” she shakes her head. “I just couldn’t do it.”

“But why?” Lois asks, practically whining.

“Because she had just been crying and she was so distraught and miserable and I guess since I was comforting her and making her feel loved she... she wanted to show me how grateful she was.”

Lois puts her elbows on the table and takes her head in her hands. “Oh, dear.”

“Yeah. So now she’s stopped talking to me, she’s avoiding my calls, she stays with her boyfriend every other night and when she does say something to me it’s coated in vitriol and permafrost.”

Lois sighs. “In other words, you’re in the doghouse.”

Kara stuffs her mouth with a rocky road muffin and nods. “So, what do I do?”

“Have you told her how you feel?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Lois glares. Kara rolls her eyes, defeated. “Okay. For starters she won’t listen to me.”

Lois raises one eyebrow. “Where there’s a will…”

“Fine, alright. I just don’t think she feels the same way and I don’t want to ruin--”

“Is that why she tried to kiss you?”

Kara throws her arms up in frustration. “I told you. She wasn’t thinking straight.”

Lois chuckles. “No, she definitely wasn’t, you’re right on that one.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “It’s not just that. I mean… just because I feel something it doesn’t mean I have to act on it.”

“Oh my god, what are you, a Mormon?”

Kara feels cornered now, has run out of excuses, but she still has a pain au chocolat so she decides to munch on that to buy herself some time.

“You know what I think? I think you’re terrified.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You’re terrified,” Lois continues, undeterred, “and you’re making up a million ways to convince yourself why you shouldn’t be honest with the person you love and it’s eating you up alive. You’re hurting, Cat is hurting and I’m hurting too having to watch you two human disasters messing up your lives for no reason other than fear. Just take responsibility for yourself and woman up.”

Kara dusts her face off with the back of her hands and nods. “Yeah. Yeah. No, you’re right. You’re absolutely right, I am going to do the right thing. I’m going to tell her.”

Lois widens her eyes. “You are?”

“Or maybe you could talk to her first?”

Lois laughs out loud at that. “Sure. Yes. And then I could just flog myself for fun.”

Kara groans. “I really wish you guys were friends.”

“Yeah, well. There are more chances of my landing an interview with Supergirl than that happening.”

“You want an interview with Supergirl?”

“Me and every other reporter in the world,” she says. “Hey, by the way, did Cat ever get my card?”

“What card?”

“I sent her a congratulations card after the Intergang story. She kicked ass.”

“Oh. I don’t know, she never mentioned it.”

“It figures. I bet she burned it, or better still, used it to put a voodoo spell on me.”

Kara laughs. “I’ll ask her.”

“Not before you tell her you’re hopelessly devoted to her,” Lois reminds her, raising her finger in admonishment.

“Yeah. But maybe I won’t use those exact same words. She was never a big fan of that musical. She thinks its message is inherently sexist.”

“And she’s right. But the songs are good,” Lois says.

Kara looks at Lois and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, Lois.”

Lois looks slightly surprised. “For what?”

“For your time. For your patience and support and… “ Kara shrugs, “everything. One day I’ll return the favor and listen to all your life’s woes, I promise.”

Lois chuckles and pats Kara’s hand. “Just promise you’ll tell her and we’re good.”

Kara smiles and nods. “I will.”


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cat drunk dials Kara and Kara decides it’s time to come clean once and for all.

She’ll tell her. It’s all she can think about all day. As soon as she sees her, she’ll sit her down and she’ll pour her heart out and whatever happens she’ll see it through. No more hiding, no more playing it safe. She’ll either break up a friendship or… she doesn’t let her mind dwell on what that other option might be, it’s hard enough to work up the courage to just do it, that anything else is secondary. She has a huge weight on her chest and it won’t lift itself; she just has to come clean and face the music, whatever that might be.

So, yes, I’ll tell her, she thinks as she does the laundry, as she teaches her morning lessons, as she washes the dishes, as she writes down the shopping list. She’ll tell her. She will. She is so prepared to do it that the possibility that Cat might not come home today doesn’t occur to her until it’s after dinner time, the coffee table cleared and the dishes dried and put away and still there’s no sign of Cat. It’s a little past eleven when Kara finally gives up. Today is not the day. It will happen, just not today.

She sighs and heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth, when the phone rings. This is odd, she thinks. Nobody ever rings at this hour. She picks up.

She hears loud music on the other side, voices, noises.

“Hello?”

“I don’t need you, you know?”

Kara frown. Is this... “Cat?”

“I’m doing great,” Cat says, and Kara has to use her powers to tune out the background noise, it’s so damn loud. “I’m the best reporter on TV right now, my coworkers are all jealous of my success. People recognize me in the street, they want my autograph, for fuck’s sake.” She can tell, even with all the noise, that her voice is slurred, the way it gets when she’s had too much to drink.

“Cat, what are you--”

“I’m young,” Cat interrupts. “I’m beautiful, and there are at least three gorgeous women checking me out right now.”

“What the hell, Cat, where are you?”

“That… is not the point.” She can hear her better now, it sounds like she has put her mouth closer to the receiver and she’s making an effort to enunciate every word properly. “The point is, I’m doing fine without you. I have a whole life that doesn’t revolve around you and it’s great and I don’t need you. So, yeah....” she pauses. “That’s my point. Good-bye.”

“Wait, no, Cat!”

But she has already hung up.

Kara doesn’t waste time thinking about what she should do. She’s in her suit and out the window before she can talk herself out of it. She doesn’t know where Cat is, but she can look for her, listen out for that particular heartbeat she’d recognize in a million. She finds her soon enough, where she had suspected she’d be. The Nook. The lesbian bar they had ended up in for Cat’s birthday. The bar where she had first panicked and kick-started this whole sorry situation. Why Cat should be there, in the middle of the week, is a mystery to her, but she’s not going to think about that, she’s only going to focus on what she’ll tell her. It doesn’t matter that Cat is drunk. If anything, it might make things easier. There is still a chance Cat might not remember any of it tomorrow, which could work to her advantage if, as Kara expects, she doesn’t feel the same way. And if she does, well, she can always remind her the next day, in full assurance that she won’t be rejected. It’s a foolproof plan, one that she couldn’t have devised on her own but which turns out to work out wonderfully either way.

She quickly changes in a back alley and barges into the bar.

There’s so much smoke and people, so many people, she has to elbow herself in. She manages to get to the bar, but a quick look tells her Cat is not there. She scans the crowd but there are too many women, on the dancefloor, at the tables, in every damn corner. And still she can’t see Cat. Maybe she’s not here anymore, maybe she’s left and gone Lord knows where. She pushes her way through the bar and catches the attention of the bartender. It’s the same girl who served her last time. It feels like a lifetime ago.

“Hi. Um, I don’t know if you remember me, but I need your help?” she shouts. The girl approaches her and leans over. “I’m looking for my friend,” Kara says. “The blond one, who was with me last time? I know it’s a long shot but…”

“Oh, you mean your girlfriend? The really hot one?” she says.

“Right, um, yes. Have you seen her? She called me not long ago but I can’t see her anywhere.”

The girl looks uncomfortable. “Well. I have seen her, yes, but, I don’t know if I should tell you this...”

“What?”

“Um. What kind of relationship do you two have? ‘Cause she seemed pretty, um, let’s say, busy?”

Kara shakes her head. “Busy? What do you mean? Just tell me where she is, please?”

“Alright, but don’t shoot the messenger, okay?” She tilts her head toward a secluded corner, near the phone booth. It’s dark and she wouldn’t have noticed it if the girl hadn’t pointed it out; it’s a short corridor which leads to the restrooms and it’s almost empty except for something moving by the wall. She walks closer and she’s stopped in her tracks.

It takes her a second to process it but then she sees it. Cat pushed up against the upholstered wall by some short, black-haired woman, Cat’s arms around the other woman’s neck, Cat’s mouth locked with hers, Cat’s hands buried in her long silky hair, Cat’s dress hiked up to reveal smooth pale thighs, and the woman’s hands, they’re just everywhere, everywhere.

Kara is frozen in her spot for a long excruciating time, like a deer caught in the headlights. She sees everything, every little detail; the way Cat’s leg is slightly bent up to brush against the woman’s side, the way her skin on her neck is glistening with sweat, how her eyes are closed, how every inch of her body is pressed against this woman.

When the woman leaves Cat’s mouth to start nipping at her neck, Kara suddenly snaps out of her stupor to give way to a whole different kind of emotion. Who the hell is this woman? How dare she manhandle Cat in such a crude manner? It has to stop. Now. She walks up to them, yanks the woman away, ignoring her loud protests, and turns to Cat.

“What the hell is going on?” she yells over the music still pumping in her ears.

Cat takes a second to focus her gaze on Kara, she blinks a couple of times and then frowns. “Kara? What the f--”

“What are you doing? Who is that, Cat? ” she points behind her, but the woman, after having cursed in vain at them, has promptly disappeared into the crowd.

Cat stares at her with her mouth wide open, too shocked to form words, apparently. When she recovers she puts her hands on her hips and straightens her back. She stumbles a little and when she finds her balance again she says, “I’m sorry but since when are you the guardian of my social life?”

“Since when do you go around kissing random women in bars? This is not you, Cat. You don’t want this.”

Car scoffs. “You have no idea what I want. And you have no right to barge in here and keep screwing up my life. What are you even doing here, anyway?”

“You phoned me.”

Cat blinks. “Did not.”

“Did too. Told me how much you don’t need me, how great you’re doing…”

“Ha ha. See? Then I already told you all you need to know.”

“... and then I come here and I see you in the middle of a full-on public make-out session with a stranger.”

“Oh cry me a river, Kara. It was just a kiss.”

“No, it wasn’t. Her hand was going up your dress, Cat. If I hadn’t stopped you…”

“What? I was gonna lose my lesbian virginity? Is that what you’re so afraid of? Newsflash, Kara. I don’t need saving. I’m not one of your damsels in distress. I’m perfectly capable of ruining my life on my own, thank you very much. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna--”

“The hell you are,” Kara says, grabbing her forearm.

Cat is startled, looks down at Kara’s firm grip. “Kara,” she says slowly. “Let me go. You’re hurting me.”

Kara is horrified. She drops Cat’s forearm as if it was hot coal and takes a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to.”

Cat leans back on the wall and closes her eyes for a second, rubbing her arm. “I know.”

“Come on, let’s go. I’m not leaving you here like this. Oh Rao knows I wish I could, but you’re too drunk and I don’t care what you’re going to say. So just grab your things and we’ll go.”

Cat shoots her an angry glare, but Kara stands her ground, until Cat rolls her eyes and pushes herself off the wall.

Kara waits for her while she collects her coat from her table and follows her outside. She hails a cab and they sit in silence on opposite sides throughout the ride home.

She sees Cat glancing her way warily once or twice, her mouth twitching, as if trying to say something, and Kara is not in the mood to meet her halfway. She’s too busy keeping her tears inside. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to stop if she lets them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if anyone's wondering, the short, black-haired woman is Lucy Liu. I doubt she'll ever make another appearance, but I thought I'd point it out. For visuals.
> 
> Also, may I direct you towards [this masterpiece](http://covergollum.tumblr.com/post/164617096561/iblamethenubbins-a-meme) I'm still cackling


	21. Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit more angst before the big season finale
> 
> Featuring Overdramatic!Kara & her pit of despair

It’s only when she’s at home, in the darkness of her own room, that she starts feeling real pain. Anger had covered that up, she hadn’t been aware of anything but her outrage. And now, when that has subsided, there’s nothing left inside of her but hurt. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t have any right to control Cat’s actions, that Cat should be free to do whatever she pleases with whomever she chooses. She still feels like she’s been betrayed. And it hurts like hell. Flashes of memories of Cat pressed up against that wall, her hair all mussed, her dress riding up her thigh, and that woman’s hands touching her everywhere, keep tormenting her. It’s something she’ll never be able to forget, branded into her brain forever. It doesn’t even matter that for Cat that was just another stress reliever, like alcohol or sugar or a bubble bath. For some reason, that makes it even worse. How can she take something like this so lightly? Something that should be sacred, to be cherished as special and rare and important.  
And of course knowing that had it been a man it would have hurt less, if at all, doesn’t help either. Since they’ve known each other, Cat has had a string of boyfriends which Kara managed to tolerate just fine. But never girls. It had always been just the two of them, and even if their relationship had never been physical, there was a certain understanding, a kind of respect, a knowledge that they both mattered the most to each other and that they would never do anything to hurt the other. And now Cat had just gone and betrayed that trust.

And amidst all of this, there’s the silly, petty disappointment that she’s never going to be Cat’s first girl. She had never admitted it to herself, but now that it has been taken away from her, she knows she wanted it just as fiercely as she wants Cat all to herself.

She wills herself to go to sleep, in an attempt to shut down her mind for a few hours, but sleep doesn’t bring any relief. She tosses and turns, while she yells at Cat over and over again in her dreams, and when she’s not yelling at her she’s kissing her desperately, pressing her body against that wall just like that woman did, one hand on her breast, the other pushing the hem of her dress higher and higher, daring Cat to stop her, and even then, with her hands all over Cat and her mouth on hers, she’s still not feeling anything but anger and hurt.

Eventually she wakes up in a sweat, her sheets all tangled up between her legs. It’s barely morning, the sun is not out yet, but she knows she can’t stay in bed any longer. In fact, she can’t stay in this house at all. These walls feel like they’re stifling her, she needs to get away and stay gone, for a while at least.

She gets up in the dark and quickly packs a few things into a bag, scribbles down a note for Cat, leaves it on the living room table and then shoots out her bedroom window.

***

She lands on the Kent’s front porch still in time for breakfast. And boy, does she need it. Flying always leaves her famished and she had sped all the way from Metropolis, which means she’s starving. She knocks on the wooden door and a moment later Martha comes to open it.

“Oh my Lord, Kara!” she says, a hand flying to her chest in shock. “Jonathan! Look who’s here! Oh my goodness. Come in, come in.”

She drops her bag in the hall, gives her a long hug and then she follows Martha inside, where she finds Jonathan in the middle of frying some bacon and eggs.

She hugs him too and they don’t waste time asking questions, they just sit her at the table and present her with a huge breakfast plate.

“Is Kal still in bed?” she asks, as she wolfs down her food.

Martha sits beside her and nods. “He’ll be down in a minute, he’s going to have a fit when he sees you. He’s being missing you.”

“I know. I miss him too, all the time.”

Martha pats her shoulders. “Maybe later you’ll change into less flashy clothing, huh? And then you’ll tell us what’s bothering you, if you like?”

Kara drops her shoulders and grimaces. “I just… need a place to hide, if that’s okay.”

“You’re not in trouble, are you?” Jonathan asks, his eyes darkening.

“No, no, nothing like that. I mean, I just need to be away from… everything. For a while.”

“Sure, honey,” Jonathan says. “But promise you’ll tell us if you’re in real trouble, alright?”

“I promise.” She forces a smile and goes back to her breakfast.

“Pop? Can I have French toast this morning? I’m ravenous!” she hears Kal-El calling, his feet tapping down the stairs impossibly fast.

Jonathan winks at Kara and puts his hands on his hips, ready to savor the scene.

“I know we said to have them only on Sunday but--” Kal-El storms into the kitchen and stops so quickly in his tracks he almost leaves a mark on the floor with his heels.

“Kara?? No way!” He flings himself at her and hugs tight, burying his face in her hair.

“Yes way, buddy.”

“But-- where is Cat?” he asks when he pulls away.

Kara takes a deep breath and tries to hide the pain from her face. “She-- she’s not here. It’s just me. Isn’t that enough?” she asks, poking him in the ribs.

“Of course. But you guys are kinda inseparable these days.”

“Well. Turns out we can be. Separable.”

“But will she be here soon? Is she coming later?”

Kara shakes her head. “No. No, I’m sorry. She’s not coming.”

Kal-El makes a sad face and Kara ruffles his hair.

“Oookay. Time for breakfast,” Martha says. “Come on, leave your cousin alone for now. Plenty of time to catch up later with your bellies full.”

Kal-El smiles and takes a seat, and for a moment Kara feels like she’s back in the old days, having breakfast with her family before school; in a minute she’d be grabbing her bag and her lunch box and she’d be walking to the bus stop, waving goodbye to her new family and to her baby cousin. She sighs. She almost wishes she could go back to those times, things were much simpler then. Not easier, not in high school on a different planet. But definitely simpler.

***

Once she’s cancelled all her classes and called the gallery to warn them she’d be out of town for the next few days, she spends the rest of the day moping in her bed, wallowing in self-pity. And the next one, and the one after. She only emerges from her pit of despair to feed herself twice a day and to chat a little with her family, and then she excuses herself to go back to bed. She draws the curtains and listens to Time After Time and Live to Tell and With or Without You and every old sad love song she still has on tape. It makes it even worse to remember that most of those mixtapes she had made with Cat, when they used to learn the lyrics by heart and then lyp-sync to them in this very bedroom, with their hands on their hearts, pretending to be heartbroken and laughing at how ridiculous they were.

Cat calls on the second day she’s there, Martha tells her. Kara refuses to talk to her and Martha looks concerned but closes the door and tells Cat to maybe try later. She calls again the next day and the day after, but Kara keeps refusing to get on the phone, until Cat stops calling altogether. Martha sits on the side of her bed, tries to get her to open up, but it’s no use. Kara needs to stay in her shell and avoid dealing with her problems. She still keeps her ear out for trouble in National City, she still watches the news, and keeps ready to fly out if needed; she hasn’t abandoned her city, she’s just taken a leave of absence from her own personal life.

On the fourth day she leaves the house, decides it’s time to go for a walk. Spring is coming and she’s starting to feel cooped up, she needs air. As soon as she’s out of the house Kal-El joins her. She hasn’t asked him to, but he does anyway. He just tags along and she doesn’t have the heart to ask him not to. They circle the house and take the little path that leads into the corn field and then into the forest. Kal-El trots beside her, every now and then hovering along, trying to catch her attention. Eventually she gives in.

“I see you’ve been practicing,” she smirks.

“Yes! Look at this.” He springs up and throws his head backwards, does a backflip in the air and lands softly on his feet.

“Really cool,” she says.

He beams, looking very proud of himself. “I can do two in a row with a run-up.”

Kara chuckles. “Getting ready to join a circus?”

Kal-El makes a face. “No. Just having fun. It’s not like I can go flying around like you saving people.”

“You will. When you’re old enough.”

Kal-El shrugs. “Anyway. What’s up with you and Cat?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why don’t you want to talk to her?”

Kara looks at him sideways. “Who told you I don’t want to talk to her?”

Kal-El has the decency to look sheepish. “I, um. I overheard.”

“Kal! That’s wrong.”

“I know! But I was worried, is all. You’ve been moping around since you came here and I just wanted to know why. So… why?”

Kara shakes her head. She really doesn’t want to discuss this with her little cousin, but she’s got to give him something or he’s never going to let this go. “We had an argument. She… She did something that hurt me.”

“On purpose?”

“I don’t know,” Kara says, honestly. “Probably not. But it doesn’t matter, she still did it.”

Kal-El takes a deep breath and it makes him sound so grown up and for a moment Kara wish she really could confide in him.

“She cares about you, you know?” he says.

“Yes. And I care about her.”

“So what are you doing here? Just, go back, make up already.”

Kara shakes her head. “Sometimes things aren’t as simple as we want them to be.”

Kal-El doesn’t respond, he just stares into the distance, his face serious and his brow furrowed, and this new reflective side of her cousin makes her feel uncomfortable so she says, “Hey, wanna race back to the farm?”

Kal-El’s eyes widen and he’s instantly back to being a twelve-year-old. “Yes!”

“But no funny business, alright?”

“Got it. No flying, no tickling, no attempts at distracting you by pointing at baby ducks.”

“Right. Fair and square.”

Kal-El narrows his eyes. “I can beat you anyway.”

Kara laughs. “You can try.”

And as she speeds, side by side with her cousin before she sticks her tongue out to him and leaves him to eat dust, she is free. She doesn’t feel pain or disappointment or anger. She only feels the air on her face and her muscles burning and the smell of freshly cut grass and for now it’s enough.


	22. Twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the season finale. Enjoy it <3

Kara has been staying at the Kent’s a little over a week when Martha comes looking for her. She’s stopped listening to sad songs, now she’s in the “make yourself useful” phase. Today is “declutter the barn” day.

Martha peeps through the gate. “Kara, honey, are you in here?”

“Yes?” she says from the top of a haystack, where she’s busy mounting a row of shelves on the wall.

“Um, dear. It’s, huh, it’s Cat,” she says.

Kara purses her lips. She thought she had given up by now. Maybe she should give her a chance. Maybe it won’t hurt to talk to her just this once.

“Tell her I’m in the shower,” she says instead.

“No, sweetheart, you don’t understand. She’s here.”

“What?!” Kara misses the nail and the hammer lands on her thumb instead. “Damn it,” she mutters, looking at the cracked hammer in her hands. “What do you mean ‘here’?”

“I mean in our living room. So you better get down here quick and get yourself ready.”

This was not part of the plan. She doesn’t really have a plan, but if she did have one, it wouldn’t be this. She drops the broken hammer and flies out the barn and through her bedroom window. She definitely needs to change; she starts rummaging through her discarded clothes on the chair until she picks something that is vaguely acceptable. A pair of jeans that don’t look too dirty and her grey Smallville High hoodie. She shimmies out of her sweatpants, puts the cleaner clothes on; she combs her hair, pulls it up in a messy ponytail, looks at herself in the mirror, scrunches up her face, pulls her hair down again, smooths it down with her hands. She takes another look. It’ll have to do. She draws in a deep breath and starts walking slowly downstairs.

She finds Martha, Jonathan and Kal-El all smiling awkwardly at Cat, who is stood rigid in the middle of the room, with a cup of something hot in her hands.

Kara stops at the bottom of the stairs and shoves her hands in her pockets. “Hey,” she says. Simple, noncommittal, neutral. Yes, she can do this.

“Hi,” Cat says. She gives her a little wave and a soft uncertain smile that makes her stomach clench and no, maybe she can’t do this. She needs more time, her defenses are down, she isn’t ready. But she can’t turn her away now. She’s come all the way from Metropolis, the least she can do is hear her out.

“So,” Jonathan says, patting Cat on her back and making her drink spill a little, “we, um, we’ll leave you two to discuss… whatever you need to discuss. Come on Clark, let’s leave the ladies alone.”

Martha and Jonathan go to the kitchen while Kal-El stands there a little longer, smiling at Cat and shuffling his feet until Cat winks at him and he blushes all the way up to the tips of his ears. He’s still anchored in his spot when he catches Kara’s eyes flashing at him. He clears his throat, waves quickly at Cat and leaves.

“So,” Kara starts. “You’re here.”

Cat shrugs. “You wouldn’t come to the phone.”

Kara tries really hard not to smile, not to be won over so easily by Cat and the way she just has to get what she wants, no matter what.

“How did you even get here from the airport?”

“Got a bus.”

Kara raises both her eyebrows. “A bus? But you hate public transport. You always say they’re germ factories.”

Cat rolls her eyes. “I didn’t touch the handrails. And I have my hand sanitizer, so...”

Kara nods and they just stand there, looking at each other from opposite sides of the room, neither of them ready to take the first step.

Finally, Cat takes a deep breath. “Look, Kara, I--”

“Wait. Let’s not do this here. Let’s go outside.”

“OK,” Cat says quickly.

“And I want what you’re having. Is it coffee?”

Cat shakes her head. “Hot chocolate.”

Kara’s eyes light up. “Even better... Hang on.”

In the kitchen she finds the Kents all pretending to be busy all of a sudden and she gives them a suspicious look. She moves slowly to the cooker, still keeping an eye on them, then she pours what’s left of the hot chocolate in a big mug and heats it up with her heat vision. She leaves backwards, still throwing daggers at them with her eyes.

“Okay, we definitely need to get out of here, the walls have ears in this house,” she says to Cat.

She leads her to the back porch which is a simple narrow wooden deck with an old creaky armchair, but Kara has always preferred sitting on the floor. She had brought cushions here and a quilt for when it gets nippy and she thinks it’s the coziest spot in the house to just chill, contemplate the mysteries of the universe or to have an intimate, honest conversation with your once best friend.

She takes a seat on one of the cushions and pats the one next to her, looking at Cat. She expects Cat to resist the invitation but she just sits quietly, rests her back against the wall and hugs her knees, cradling her mug.

They sit there for a while in silence, sipping their chocolate and listening to the sounds of the country; Kara used to love to sit here in late summer and just be lulled by the sound of hundreds of cicadas singing their song; it’s too early for cicadas still, but not for spring crickets. They’re softer and quieter, she finds it relaxing and she slowly lets go of that constant dread in the pit of her stomach that has been with her since she left Metropolis.

“I’m still mad at you,” Kara says.

“I know.”

“I mean, I appreciate you coming all the way here and I’m ready to hear you out, but I won’t make it easy for you.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Good.”

“So. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Cat chuckles dryly. “Jesus. I feel like I’m in the principal’s office.”

Kara scoffs. “You were never in the principal’s office.”

“That’s ‘cause I was too smart to get caught.”

“Is that what this is about? You just got caught?”

“Well, you weren’t supposed to see… it.”

“So, that wasn’t even the first time, is that what you’re saying?”

“Kara…” Cat puts the mug down and turns her knees towards her so that she’s facing her. “That was--”

“Please don’t say it was nothing.”

“No! Just, let me talk, okay? This isn’t easy for me. I want to be absolutely honest with you, even if it might end up ruining everything for us.”

“Oh-kay. Now I’m scared.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Cat continues, “but I’ve been an absolute mess lately. Not at work, thank god, but in every other aspect of my life I’ve been a train wreck. And all because I couldn’t stop thinking about--” She pauses. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened with you. And about everything that’s been going on between us. And one day I just, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I went to that bar and looked for a girl who looked the least like you and, yeah. You know the rest.”

Kara is still not ready to accept what Cat is saying, she’s still tense and mad and she needs to hear the whole truth. “Did you like it? Because it looked like you liked it.”

Cat’s hesitation is enough to make the dread in her stomach reappear. “It’s pathetic,” she says. “But the truth is I only enjoyed it when I closed my eyes and…”

Kara has stopped breathing altogether. “And?”

Cat exhales. “And I imagined it was you.”

Oh god. This is it. This is all the confirmation that she needs, and yet she’s petrified. The dread is still there, but now it’s of a completely different kind. It’s happiness and surprise and fear all wrapped into one big knot and what is she supposed to do with all of these emotions?

“So, I need to know, Kara. Because I feel like I’ve laid myself bare here and I still don’t know-- Kara, why did you come looking for me that night? Why were you there?”

Kara’s breath hitches. “I-- I was going to…” she swallows. “I was going to tell you how I feel. About you.”

“And how do you feel?” Cat’s voice is barely a whisper.

“I-- I feel--” Her breathing is heavy and she wishes she could just show it to Cat because words are failing her right now. “I feel like I should have been that girl, in that club,” she says, finally.

Cat looks straight into her eyes, not moving, not asking. She’s completely open, unguarded, not holding anything back from her. She’s just waiting. Except Kara can hear Cat’s heart pounding so fast in her chest she’s scared it might burst.

So Kara knows this is her cue. Cat is going to give her all the time she needs, but it’s up to her now. And Kara doesn’t need more time, she wants this and she knows now that Cat wants it too, and even if Cat hadn’t said anything at all she’d know, because Cat is not looking at her eyes anymore, she’s looking at her mouth and she’s wetting her lips and Kara doesn’t know how much more encouragement she needs.

“Cat?”

“Yes?”

“I’m terrified,” Kara says.

Cat smiles. “Don’t be.”

So Kara leans in, closes her eyes, she’s so close she can feel Cat’s breath on her own lips, just a little closer and--

The door slams open and they both jerk back in their seat in a heartbeat.

“Hey guys,” Kal-El says, skipping onto the porch. “Mom wants to know if you would like to have dinner now or later, because we’re all kind of starving but we don’t want to be rude or anything so she asked me to ask you. Do you want to have dinner now? You’re only allowed to say yes.”

Kara clears her throat and Cat runs a hand through her hair and Kal-El just stands there, looking at them, waiting impatiently.

Then he frowns. “You guys look weird. What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Kara says, jumping up. “We’ll eat now, won’t we, Cat?”

“Sure!”

She offers a hand to Cat and she takes it and as she stands she comes up a little too close to Kara and they both blush and look down at their feet and Kal-El shakes his head. “Weird,” he mutters.

***

They have dinner and then they sit in the living room and they chat and they play music and Kal-El shows Cat all his new comics and Martha and Jonathan ask Kara questions about being Supergirl and her lessons and before she knows it it’s time to go to sleep. She remembers the last time they were here at Christmas, when Cat sneaked into her bed because she was cold and they cuddled all night and she slept so soundly, feeling safe and happy and warm. It’s unthinkable now.

She wishes goodnight to everyone and she walks upstairs, watching Cat and Kal-El talking on the couch. Kal-El is telling her about how he joined the newspaper team and how the editor wants him to interview the stars of the school musical but he’s actually looking into a story about a kid who got punished for doing something he didn’t and Cat looks so proud to hear he wants to follow her steps and become a reporter that Kara can’t blame him for wanting her attention all for himself.

She changes into her pajamas, brushes her teeth and gets into bed. Shortly after she hears a soft knock on her door and she knows it’s Cat.

“Yes?” she says, lifting herself up on one side.

“Hi,” Cat says, when she opens the door.

“Hi.”

She doesn’t step in and Kara doesn’t invite her.

She leans her head on the doorframe and smiles. “So… goodnight then.”

“Yes,” Kara smiles back. “Goodnight.” Rao, they’re ridiculous.

Cat is about to leave when Kara stops her. “Hey, when is your flight back?”

Cat shakes her head. “I don’t have a flight back.”

Kara furrows her brow. “You don’t?”

“Uh-uh.”

“So, um, how…?” Kara says, narrowing her eyes.

Cat just gives her a slow grin and tilts her head and it slowly dawns on Kara. It can’t be. She can’t possibly really mean…

“Do you mean to say…”

“Yes, I mean to say.”

Kara sits up in her bed, still unable to process this information. “You want me to fly you back?”

“Yes.”

“Up in the air, you with me, all the way to Metropolis?”

“Yes, Kara, that’s the idea.”

Kara has dreamt about this moment ever since they met. Yes, she has carried Cat a few times, but only for a few seconds at a time, let alone more than one whole hour.

“You should close your mouth before you catch a fly, honey,” Cat says. She gives her a little wave and then closes the door behind her.

Kara drops back on the bed, still stunned. First the almost kiss and now this? How is she supposed to get any sleep tonight?

***

Eventually Kara does get a couple of hours sleep but she’s so agitated that she’s dressed and ready to go before dawn. Which of course means she has to hang around and wait for Cat to get up. Jonathan and Martha are up and about already so she helps them with their farm chores until it’s breakfast time and she feels it’s an appropriate hour for Cat to be woken up. She sends Kal-El who, despite it being a weekend, has been up bright and early, almost as excited as Kara.

Jonathan makes them French toast and the smell that wafts through the kitchen pulls them all in. Cat still has bed hair and a groggy face when she comes in in her pajamas.

“‘Morning,” she says as she casually touches Kara’s shoulder while rubbing her eyes with the other hand. She sits beside her and yawns and Kara finds it hard to hide her heart eyes when all she wants to do is stare at her all day. But they have French toast to eat and then bags to pack. Or so she hopes. They haven’t actually discussed when they’re going back yet.

As if on cue, Kal-El asks, “So, Cat, how long do you think you’ll stay?”

“Well…” She looks at Kara and Kara just smiles and leaves it to her. “I’d love to stay here with you guys and relax a bit more but I actually have work tomorrow so…”

“So we’ll fly back today. Right? After breakfast?” Kara asks and Cat nods.

“What do you mean _we_ ’ll fly?” Ka-El asks.

Kara grins. “It means I’m flying Cat to Metropolis.”

Kal-El drops his fork and leaves his mouth open just as Kara did and Cat actually bursts out laughing.

“I am so jealous,” Kal-El sighs, when he recovers from his shock.

“Your time will come, little buddy,” Kara says, which does not help his mood at all. Kara wishes she could be more sympathetic with her cousin but Cat has surreptitiously put a hand on her knee under the table now and she’s drawing little circles with her thumb and Kara forgets all about Kal-El and his woes and can only concentrate on the feeling of Cat’s hand on her and what it’s doing to her. Suddenly she’s not in a rush to finish her breakfast anymore.

“Why are you all red in the face all of a sudden?” Kal-El asks and Kara coughs nervously and Cat giggles and takes her hand away and Kara thinks that, yes, it’s definitely time to leave the nest.

They all help clear the table and then Kara and Cat go upstairs to pack the few things they brought with them. Cat only has a tiny rucksack and Kara’s is hardly any bigger. They’re ready in a matter of minutes, Cat in her jeans, hoodie and warm boots and Kara in her super suit.

It’s hard saying goodbye, but at least there aren’t any tears, just really tight hugs and promises of coming back soon. And then it’s time to go. Kara puts their bags on one shoulder and looks at Cat.

“Are you ready?”

Cat beams and nods. “Take us home, Supergirl.”

Kara sweeps her up, lets Cat wrap one arm around her neck, the other around her waist and then up they go.

***

She takes it slow. She can feel Cat is tense in her arms so she doesn’t speed the way she normally would on her own and she doesn’t go as high. At first Cat keeps her eyes squeezed shut and holds tight onto Kara’s neck. Kara doesn’t really mind, she loves having Cat so close to her, being able to bury her nose in her hair as much as she likes and inhale the lovely smell of her shampoo, feel the warmth of her body pressed to hers, but she knows Cat is missing out like this. This is not the way to do it. So she starts by pointing out little things to her, like “look, there’s our old school,” or “hey, isn’t that lake beautiful from here,” and “doesn’t that cloud over there look like a mouse?” She keeps going like that until Cat eventually feels safe enough to leave her eyes open and enjoy the ride.

Once Cat relaxes, Kara can relax too. She has always loved flying, it’s her favorite super power, but she had never truly realised how special it is until today. She feels like she’s in one of her romantic comedies, in the scene where the violins start playing and the final credits are about to appear, except she doesn’t feel like this is the ending of anything, it’s definitely the beginning of something - of everything.

They take a couple of breaks, to let Cat rest her arm and stretch her legs, but they still make it to Metropolis a little before lunchtime. Kara finds their building and lands softly on the rooftop. She puts Cat down and Cat lingers there for a few seconds longer than necessary, and they both look at each other with huge silly grins on their faces.

“So, here we are,” Kara says.

“Yes, here we are,” Cat says, still grinning at her and they both don’t know what else to say, until Kara takes a small step back and goes, “Hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Wanna have a picnic up here?”

“A picnic?”

“Yes. I’ll just put something together quick with whatever we have. I’ll be back in a minute. You just stay here.”

Cat tucks her hands in her pockets and lifts one shoulder. “Okay.”

Kara takes the stairs as fast as she can, and once she’s inside she grabs a blanket, some red wine, glasses, all the bread they have, some crackers, cheese, carrots, hummus, olives, some strawberries, even a bar of dark chocolate - and Kara is impressed that Cat has actually been grocery shopping while she was gone - she puts everything in a basket, she changes into comfortable clothes and then runs back up.

“There you go. We won’t stuff ourselves but at least it’s something.”

“It’s perfect,” Cat says.

They lay down the blanket and before they start eating they toast to Sunday picnics on rooftops and super powers and Kara feels so blessed she might actually cry.  
After they finish eating they lie on their backs there, side by side, their bellies full, relaxing in the warmth of the spring sun, the soft breeze ruffling their hair; when their feet lightly touch it feels so natural and comfortable that they let them, and just as naturally they let their fingers entwine, playing with them, while looking at the clouds in the sky. Then Cat turns on one side and props herself up on her elbow, resting her cheek on her palm. She combs her fingers through Kara’s loose hair looking lovingly at her and Kara closes her eyes and shivers.

“Remember that time in tenth grade,” Cat says, “when I was staying over at yours and I let you braid my hair.”

Kara smiles, her eyes still closed. “Yes. Because you had never let me before and I was so nervous about doing it wrong.”

“Remember how I told you to stop all of a sudden and I left the room?”

“Yes. You never said why. Was it because I hurt you?”

“No,” she says. “I panicked.”

Kara opens her eyes and looks at Cat, frowning. “Why?”

Cat shrugs one shoulder. “I actually never wanted you to stop. I loved it, you touching my hair, caressing my neck... And it scared the hell out of me.”

“So you ran away. Like I did.”

Cat gives her an apologetic smile but doesn’t say anything. So Kara lifts her chin and studies her. There’s no panic now, no need to run away. Just a question, still nagging at her.

“That woman, in the club. She wasn’t your first. You’ve kissed other girls before, haven’t you?”

Cat pulls her lips in before answering. “Would it matter? If I did?”

“I, um…” _Yes_.

“Would it help if I said I never really felt anything when I kissed them?”

“You didn’t?” she asks, holding her breath.

“No.” Cat shakes her head slowly and delicately brushes a strand of hair off Kara’s forehead. “It has always been you, Kara.”

Kara exhales and she knows that this is it. Her heart starts thumping in her chest because she knows no one is going to stop them now, it’s just the two of them and it’s time. She lifts herself up on her forearm and stares for a moment longer at Cat, until Cat nods almost imperceptibly and Kara can’t wait any longer. She shifts just a little bit closer and presses their lips together. It’s strange and different at first but also familiar and right, so right. As if she had been doing it all her life, as if suddenly the world had shifted around her and it finally made sense.

And then Cat moves even closer, she cups a hand over Kara’s cheek and her mouth shifts higher, capturing her top lip and Kara feels Cat’s tongue gently coaxing her way in and Kara is terrified, she’s in completely new territory now. It was scary enough to touch Cat’s lips with her lips but this is a whole new level of intimacy that she had only allowed herself to think about in her dreams. This is real and it’s happening now. And so she lets it. She opens her mouth slightly and Cat slides in with a soft moan, all gentle strokes and tender touches, and Kara gets lost in it, forgets anything else but the taste of Cat’s mouth, the warm breath on her upper lip, the heat of their tongues touching, their bodies pressed together, their legs entangled, the slow movement of Cat’s hand in her hair, how her fingers find their way down the nape of her neck, drawing twirls on her skin and sending shivers down her spine. She could do this all her life.

After what feels like an eternity or maybe just one fleeting second, they break the kiss. They hold each other close, grinning, unable to move apart yet.

Kara takes a deep breath. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Cat says, also breathing in much needed air.

“So… how does it feel?” Kara asks. Because she knows nothing will ever be the same for her, no matter what happens next. But she needs to know if Cat is with her.

Cat takes a moment to think about it. “It feels… warm.”

“Warm?” Kara asks.

“Yes,” she says slowly, carefully. “It feels like when it’s winter and it’s cold out and you get home at the end of a long day to find the fire lit up and a cup of hot cocoa waiting for you. It feels... like coming home.”

Kara smiles and pulls her close again, kisses her softly.

“How does it feel for you?” Cat asks.

“Impossible. It feels unreal, to be granted this much happiness, finally. But it also feels right. Like it was meant to be?”

Cat chuckles. “God, we’re sappy,” she says and Kara laughs. “If I weren’t living it, I’d make myself sick with how disgustingly cute we are.”

“But you aren’t. Sick, I mean.”

Car rolls her eyes, but keeps smiling. “Were you not paying attention?”

“I was. But I also did tell you how I still can’t quite believe it.”

Cat smirks. “Come here, then,” she whispers, capturing her lips again. “Let me remind you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be another season, the final one, after a little break. With lots of fluff, some sexy times and a smidgen of angst here and there, but nothing like what we've gone through. The angsty season is over. See you then ;)


	23. Twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the season 3 premiere. The season of kissing, fluff and... other stuff.
> 
> Enjoy <3

Kara wakes up feeling the faint light of the sun filtering through the curtains on her eyelids and delicate fingers trailing up and down her arm. She shifts back with a quiet “hmm” to find a soft body pressed against hers; feels warm lips placing a lingering kiss on her neck and she hums some more, stretching lazily. She turns on her back and finds Cat wide awake, looking at her.

“Morning sunshine,” she says, smiling.

“Good morning,” Kara says.

Cat leans down and kisses her on the lips.

“How long have you been up?” Kara asks.

Cat shrugs. “How can I sleep when I have this beautiful woman in my bed.”

And Kara blushes because this is still so new to her; anytime she wakes up next to Cat, in her bed, more often than not with Cat awake watching over her with loving eyes, she feels she’s living an impossible miracle and has to remind herself she’s not dreaming it.

“I could say the same thing,” Kara says.

“And yet.”

Kara laughs. “And yet I’m a superhero who uses up a lot of her energies and needs her few hours of sleep per night to function. And you need them too.”

“I got a few hours sleep, don’t worry.” She gives Kara another quick peck. “Breakfast?” she says over her lips.

Kara pulls her on top of her. “In a minute,” she says, pushing her down for another slower, deeper kiss.

That’s all they’ve been doing. Kissing. They’ve kissed in every room of the house and they can’t stop. Except, Kara still feels she shouldn’t be doing any of this. She shouldn’t want Cat, shouldn’t sneak into her bed at night and let their legs entangle, shouldn’t want to do… other things. Because all Kara wants is to do all of what they _aren’t_ doing. She wants to discover Cat’s body with her hands and her mouth, she wants to know what it feels like to be touched by her too, but she doesn’t let herself. She still feels they’re playing a forbidden game, that she should wait for her parents to find the right match for her. It’s stupid, she knows it, she’s perfectly aware of being alone, left to her own destiny, and yet, she doesn’t feel allowed to shape it herself, not when it comes to love, relationships and… sex.

Cat doesn’t push her. Kara can tell it’s not easy for someone as impatient as Cat, who is used to getting what she wants, whenever she wants it, but she is holding back for Kara.

“I’ve waited so long for this, there is no reason to rush now,” she tells her.

And then there’s the other issue, the one Kara hasn’t been able to voice openly yet. The fact that Cat is so experienced in this matter and Kara just isn’t. She’s never been intimate with someone, while Cat might never have slept with a woman as far as Kara knows, but she’s still on a whole other level. It’s intimidating.

And what if, when she lets all her fears go and lets her barriers down, she loses so much control that she ends up hurting Cat? Physically hurting her? She can’t risk that.

She wishes she could forget who she is and just let her desires take over, but she can’t, not yet.

So every night they play their little charade; they tell each other goodnight, go to their own bedroom and then, when Kara is ready, which takes anything from ten minutes to one hour, she tiptoes into Cat’s bedroom. It’s always Kara slipping into Cat’s bed, never the other way round. They have never discussed it, it just happens, and Kara is perfectly happy to keep it this way. So their nights have been all about kissing in the dark, cuddling, actually _sleeping_ together, and right now, it’s driving both of them crazy.

The slower, deeper kiss has become a full-on makeout session, breakfast seemingly forgotten. Kara has one hand on Cat’s back, the other in Cat’s hair and her mouth on Cat’s earlobe while one thigh has found its way between Cat’s legs and Cat has started panting in Kara’s ear, and Kara knows she should stop but right now her body is refusing to receive her brain’s signals, too immersed in the way Cat feels under her hands, the way she tastes, the way she…

“Okay, okay,” Cat manages to say under her breath, pulling herself up a bit. “We need to stop this.”

Kara pretends she doesn’t hear, pulls Cat’s head down again to recapture Cat’s earlobe, pressing her thigh even harder onto Cat’s center and Cat whimpers and falls onto Kara again. She rolls her hips against Kara’s and clutches at Kara’s shoulders and Kara pushes her thigh up, matching her rhythm, dragging her palms along her back and Cat hisses. “Kara, I can’t… We need to stop now. Please.”

This time she pulls herself all the way up. She looks Kara in the eyes, biting her lip, her hair all ruffled, her pj’s top rumpled, and Kara knows she’s right. She’s still not ready to lose control and this was definitely going to lead them to places she is too afraid to explore.

“Okay,” she exhales. “Okay. Let’s, um, let’s have breakfast.”

“Yes… uh, you go ahead. I’m just gonna… I’m just gonna take a quick shower,” Cat says.

Kara tries not to think about Cat in the shower, naked, her skin wet and flushed by the hot spray of the water, her body lathered up in foam, her back against the tiles and her hand trailing south, to find that release Kara can’t give her yet... No, she definitely can’t think about that. She needs to focus on… not that. She goes into the kitchen in a daze, starts gathering up all the ingredients on the table: milk, eggs, sugar, flour, butter, syrup. Yes, this is good, food is good, food is helping. Except, she trusts Cat in the kitchen a lot more than she trusts herself so she makes the coffee instead. Cat is meticulous, knows how to be precise, knows how to follow the rules, how not to be led astray by morning kisses and wandering hands.

Once the coffee is done, she pours herself a cup, stirs in cream and sugar and sits, waiting.

Cat comes in smelling of her jasmine shower gel and fresh laundry, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail, wearing her long blue House of El t-shirt and nothing else, as far as Kara can see without her x-ray vision, which she’s not going to use. She had been surprised and more than a little outraged when she had first seen the t-shirts in the shops, but one day Cat had come home with one of them and her heart had actually melted. Because she wasn’t some stranger who didn’t know what that symbol meant. It was Cat, wearing her family coat of arms, and what is Cat if not family? So now it has become one of her favorite things, seeing Cat in that t-shirt, and Cat knows it.

She dons her apron over her t-shirt and says, “Okay, we have about an hour before I need to leave for work. So, scrambled eggs or pancakes?”

Kara glares, unimpressed. “Cat, what kind of question is that?”

Their eyes meet. “Both,” they say at the same time.

Kara watches Cat sift the flour in a plastic bowl - because of course she’d sift the flour - with her mini cupcakes apron and her ponytail that leaves some strands of hair framing her cheeks and when she pushes them away with the back of her hand she leaves a speck of flour on the tip of her nose and Kara thinks she’s never seen anything prettier in her entire life.

And then it dawns on her that she doesn’t need to hide anymore, she’s allowed to say these things.

“You are so pretty,” she says.

Cat scoffs. “Now? Yeah, right.”

“No, it’s true. So pretty. I mean, you’re always pretty, but now I can actually tell you without it being weird. Because, you know, we’re, you’re…” she fumbles.

“Yeah,” Cat smiles.

And there it is again. The feeling that none of this is real. That she could wake up at any moment and Cat would still be…

“Hey. Whatever happened to that guy you were seeing?”

“Oh, shit, Jonathan!” Cat says, dropping the sifter. “I forgot!”

Kara’s eyes widen. “Are you serious? He still thinks you’re dating?”

Cat rolls her eyes and keeps sifting. “No, I'm joking, you idiot. I broke up with him ages ago. I’m not that heartless.”

“Oh. But, when?”

Cat waves her free hand dismissively. “Before I came to Kansas to get you back.”

 _To get me back_ , Kara repeats in her head, a fuzzy warmth spreading all over her.

“And how did he-- I mean, what did you tell him?”

Cat shrugs. “I told him that I couldn’t keep seeing him because,” she pauses, eyes firmly on the bowl. “Because I was in love with someone else.”

Kara gasps. “In love,” she whispers.

Cat lifts her eyes to meet Kara’s and they’re so serious and hesitant Kara’s heart clenches. She walks over to her and wraps her arms around her waist, crossing her hands over Cat’s stomach. Cat cracks an egg into the batter. Kara leans down and places a soft kiss on Cat’s neck, right under her ear and Cat’s breath hitches.

“I love you too, you know?”

“I know,” Cat says quietly, but she doesn’t sound like she means it so Kara continues.

“I have been in love with you for I don’t even know how long. It’s just taken me a while to figure it out, because I’m dumb.”

Cat chuckles and Kara goes back to kissing her neck. She leaves a trail of soft ones all the way down to her collarbone; she lingers there, caressing her stomach and Cat hums and still keeps working on the batter, whisking the milk in; she starts the trail back up slowly, this time sucking gently, leaving wet spots all the way to her ear, takes her earlobe between her teeth and sucks and that’s what makes Cat drop the whisk with a whimper. Encouraged, Kara lets her hands roam underneath her shirt, ghosting her stomach, her hips, her ribs, revelling in the way Cat tenses up under her delicate touch; she wanders upwards, just beneath her breasts, careful not to touch them - they haven’t crossed that line yet - but enough to lightly brush the skin there with her thumbs and Cat drops her head back, trying to stifle a moan.

“Kara,” she warns.

“Hmm?”

“As much as I--” Kara takes in her other earlobe in her mouth and starts swirling her tongue. “Oh… oh god, Kara,” she sighs. “As much as I’d love for you to never stop what you’re doing, this-- this is torture.”

Kara stops. “Right. You’re right. Sorry. It’s just, you’re so…” She tucks her face into Cat’s shoulder and hugs her even tighter. Cat turns her head sideways and places a kiss on top of her head.

“Why don’t you beat the eggs while I finish this?”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’ll be here to make sure you don’t send the eggs flying into space or something.”

Kara kisses her again on the lips because she can and gets to work.

 

***

 

They’re on the couch, watching the news. Well, Cat is watching the news, Kara is mostly watching Cat, sprawled sideways, her head on Cat’s lap; it’s crazy how much bigger the couch feels now. Cat’s weaving her fingers through her hair, something she apparently loves doing and keeps doing whenever she can. Every now and then Cat leans down and kisses her.

“I’ll never get tired of this,” Kara says.

“I hope not,” Cat says, brushing her thumb along her eyebrow.

“This is weird, though, isn’t it?”

It’s been days and it still feels that way.

“Yeah. So weird,” Cat agrees.

“But good weird. It’s a good weird, right?”

Cat snorts and looks like she wants to make a snarky remark but then looks down at Kara, who can’t help but give her the worried puppy eyes, and chuckles.

“Yes. Very good.”

Kara squeezes her shoulders in delight and relaxes. They entangle their fingers and stay that way until the news of a blazing fire at a warehouse downtown comes up on the screen. Kara reluctantly disentangles herself, gives Cat an apologetic smile and Cat nods, murmurs, “Go. Be safe.” And with that she flies off into the night.


	24. Twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kara and Cat inadvertently take their relationship a step further. 
> 
> And yes, it means what you think it means. Note the change in rating from T to M.
> 
> Enjoy :)

It doesn’t happen overnight, but it happens, one day at a time. She brings in her pajama first, she leaves it under her pillow, on Cat’s bed. She still calls it Cat’s bed, because that’s what it is in her mind. But the next day she brings in all her underwear and places it in one of Cat’s drawers. The next day she brings in her guitar. Until one day Cat just tells her to move her whole wardrobe in. They make space for her clothes, it’s not the easiest task, but they manage. The left side is Kara’s, the right is Cat’s. There is even a grey area where they keep the things they’ve been borrowing from each other. Same for the jewellery and toiletries that don’t fit in the bathroom. Left for Kara, right for Cat. She leaves her books and the pictures on the walls and they decide Kara’s room is no longer Kara’s room, it’s their studio. Officially. Unofficially it’s only Kara’s, because Cat prefers to work in the living room or in the kitchen, when she’s there at all. And Kara still paints mostly in her corner in the living room, but she keeps all her sketches and canvases there, her paint supplies, her scribbling journals. She tries to think of Cat’s room as _her_ room too, but she can’t yet. It’s a process.

She’s been painting a lot, recently, to make up for her time lost moping in Kansas. Without even giving it a second thought, she resumes her project on Cat. She rolls her eyes at her former self, the oblivious one who had believed that starting a whole project based on your friend, studying every angle of her face, painting her features over and over again, is something that a person would do platonically for their friend, _in friendship_. She starts working on it for what it is now, a project of love and devotion and, well, worship. She has it bad but at least she knows it.

***

One late afternoon Cat comes in and slams the door behind her. She stops there, hand still on the door handle, breathing hard, legs shaking.

“What’s wrong?” Kara says.

Cat shakes her head and swallows hard. “I need a drink. Of water. A glass of water.” Her voice is barely a whisper and Kara is by her side in an instant.

“Sure, sure. I’ll get it for you,” she says, squeezing her arm.

Kara speeds to the kitchen and is back in less than three seconds, holding a glass of cold water. “Here.”

Cat is still breathing heavily and looks pale. Way too pale. She can hear her heartbeat thumping too fast in her chest. She takes her hand and leads her to the couch.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” she says, smoothing down her hair, while Cat sips her water. “Breath.”

“I need…” she closes her eyes. “Sugar. I need sugar.”

“Coming right up.” Kara speeds to the kitchen again. Grabs the sugar jar and a teaspoon and returns to Cat’s side.

“There you are.” She stirs a spoonful of sugar into the glass and hands it to Cat again.

Cat drinks it all in one go and then slowly, slowly, the color returns to her cheeks. “I-- I think that was a mild panic attack,” she says.

Kara frowns. “Have you had them before?”

Cat nods. “They used to be worse, when I was in school. Sometimes in college too. That’s why I stopped smoking pot.”

Kara wants to ask why she never knew about them, but she knows it’s not the time to ask. It’s time to soothe. She rubs her back, holds her hand, and waits for Cat to feel safe enough to talk.

“There was a man. A paparazzo, hiding behind a van. He was waiting for me.”

“What? Why?”

“Because there are magazines who would pay him good money to publish a picture of me, that’s why. I can’t believe they already know where I live, this is a nightmare.”

“But-- you’re just a journalist. I mean, a really good, really beautiful journalist, but still. It’s not like you’re a rockstar.”

Cat lifts one shoulder. “Nowadays you’re a celebrity as soon as you appear on TV. Have I told you people want my autograph?”

“Yeah, you might have mentioned that.”

“So now I have photographers stalking me. And this one jumped out of nowhere and started taking photos, with his flash right in my face. I-- I guess I wasn’t ready. I felt so… exposed.” She shakes her head as if trying to forget it ever happened.

“It’s okay, you’re okay now,” Kara says, squeezing her shoulder.

Cat rolls her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I can’t overreact like this. I need to get used to it. It’s not like they’re going to stop.”

“No, but you’re not used to it yet, it’s normal you got scared.”

Cat doesn’t say anything, just looks tense and angry at herself. So Kara says, “Hey, why don’t I run you a hot bath? I feel like hot water would be calming. Would you like that?”

Cat nods slowly. “Hot water is good. For panic attacks, I mean.”

“Great, I’ll run it for you.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Kara is glad she can do something. She can’t bear to see Cat like this, so vulnerable and fragile. She wants to be there for her, to protect her, even if her protection can only manifest itself with glasses of water and hot baths. She uses her calming almond milk bath foam and pours in a few drops of lavender essential oil for good measure. She makes sure the water is just hot enough not to burn, puts her hand in it and splashes the water about to form nice soft foamy bubbles. She takes two clean white towels from the drawer, a big and a small one, and places them on the chair beside the bathtub, turns on the little corner lamp on the side table and turns off the big light. Then calls Cat to say the bath is ready.

Cat comes in a moment later, says a quiet thank you and Kara leaves her to it. Kara lingers at the door for a moment, wanting to make sure Cat is really okay, but then decides she’s done all she can for her and retreats to the couch. She turns on the TV, flicks through the channels idly, still too worried to concentrate on anything. And then she hears the door of the bathroom open and she’s on her feet before she knows it.

“Everything okay? It’s not too hot, is it?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Cat says, smiling softly. She’s already wrapped in the big white towel and she’s holding it tight against her chest. “It’s just…”

Kara walks over to her, already in overprotecting mode. “What is it?”

“Would you… would you stay with me? I don’t feel like being alone right now.”

“W--with you? In the bathroom?”

“Well, I was thinking more of, like, you holding me, in the bathtub.”

“Oh.” She is so not prepared for this.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Cat says quickly.

“No!” Kara says instinctively. She doesn’t want to deny Cat anything right now, she wants to comfort her, make sure she feels safe and loved and, sure, she can totally do this. No big deal. It’s just a hot, relaxing, calming, soothing warm bath, right?

“I do, want to. I really do.” And she does, so very much. But she’s just also very scared and very unprepared. But maybe it’s best if she is, she’d find a million ways to talk herself out of it if she had time to think about it, while now she just has to be brave and dive.

“Just, let me get more towels.” She fishes them out of the drawer and places them on the chair and then she just stands there, unsure what to do next.

It’s not like they have never seen each other naked. They were friends as teenagers, so there had been plenty of times when they had to change in the same room, when they had sleepovers and shared bathrooms. But it’s different now, isn’t it? Undressing in front of each other, being naked together after they’ve kissed and confessed their undying love marks a new step in their relationship, a new line crossed, and Kara is so aware of this fact that she is not sure she isn’t having a panic attack herself right now. How unfortunate that, with all her superpowers, she can’t will her heart to chill the hell out.

She’s frozen to the spot so Cat takes a step forward. “Here, let me”, she says, and she calmly - _calmly_ , and the irony is not lost on Kara - pulls the hem of her shirt up and takes it off for her. She starts unbuttoning her pants too, but Kara stops her. “I-- I can take it from here.” So she does. She shimmies out of her pants and while she is taking her bra and panties off, Cat opens her towel, leaves it on the chair and steps into the bathtub.

Kara tries her best to look calm, because that’s the whole point, calm Cat down, it won’t do to look more anxious than her. She swallows the deep breath she’d love to take and dips her foot inside. Cat is sitting in the middle of the tub, hugging her knees and not looking at her, so she positions herself behind her, and Cat immediately moves backward to nestle between her legs. Kara slides her arms across her stomach and pulls her closer, cradling her.

“This is nice,” she says, because it actually is. The hot water washes away all her tension almost instantly. The foam surrounding them is thick and soothing and most importantly, hides any nudity she’s not relaxed enough to handle right now.

Cat hums in response and puts her hands on top of hers, leans her head back to rest on her chest.

“Talk to me,” Cat says, quietly.

“About what?”

Cat shrugs. “Anything. How’s painting going?”

“Good, actually. I’ve started working on… well, you. Again.” She expects Cat to say something to that, but she doesn’t, so she keeps going. “And I love it. I’ll have enough to form a full set soon, but you might have to pose for me again at some point.”

Cat just hums and apparently it’s all the response she’s going to get for now. “And, um… I don’t know. Private lessons have slowed down a little, so I was thinking I should really propose the kids art workshop to the children’s centre. I just need to update my CV and my portfolio and bring them in.”

Cat nods and Kara can’t think of anything else to say so she just kisses Cat’s shoulder, presses her face into the crook of her neck and breathes in. She could actually sit in this bathtub all night like this and be perfectly content.

“I think it’s time to think about having your own art show, don’t you?” Cat says after a while.

“Oh. Well. I don’t know.”

“You need to step it up, you can’t just stay in one place all your life, Kara.”

“I’m pretty happy where I am right now.” She kisses her skin again and rubs her thumbs along Cat’s hand and Cat chuckles.

“I’m talking about your career. You need to put yourself out there, get noticed.”

“Hmm, is that such a good idea? I mean, kids are wearing t-shirts with Supergirl’s face on it.”

“Yes, but it’s your art that needs to get famous, not you. You might just, I don’t know, wear a wig at public events or something. And…”

“What?”

“And Supergirl might have to give the public more information about herself than what they know now. Which is nothing.”

“More information? How would that help?”

“Well, if you told the world you live in the Fortress of Solitude for example, and your home planet is Krypton, they might not even look for you here. They don’t need to know you have a secret identity. I don’t even think anyone suspects you _have_ a secret identity.”

“Yeah. That’s a good point, actually.”

“I know.”

“So... just so we’re clear, we’re talking about giving an interview, yeah?”

Cat nods.

“Lois says every reporter on the planet wants to interview me.”

“And she’s right.”

Kara giggles and Cat turns her head slightly. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just… you’ve both agreed with one another about two different things recently, and you don’t even know it.”

She can almost feel Cat rolling her eyes.

“She admires you, you know? Deep down, she thinks you’re great,” Kara says and Cat scoffs.

“She said she sent you a card? After the Intergang thing?” Kara asks.

“Ah yes, she did. Well, I deserved it.”

“Oh, come on.”

“What do you want me to say? That she’s great and smart and gracious and a good friend to you? ”

“That would be a start.”

“Ugh,” Cat sinks a little lower in the bath. “Why are we even talking about her?”

And Kara has to agree with Cat, because as much as she wants to pave the way for Cat and Lois’s friendship, this is probably not the best time to do it. She pulls her up and says in her ear, “How about that interview, do you want to talk about it?”

“That depends. Are you going to give it to me?”

Kara gently places her hand on Cat’s chin and tilts her head towards her. “I could never even dream of giving it to anyone else.” She leans down and kisses her. It’s just a pressing of lips at first but Cat pulls up a hand behind Kara’s head and deepens the kiss, and Kara welcomes it. She runs her hands over Cat’s impossibly smooth legs and Cat responds by arching her back and softly moaning into her mouth and suddenly neither of them feel the need to speak anymore. They kiss and kiss and kiss and Kara knows on a peripheral level that this is the longest, deepest, most feverish kiss they’ve shared yet, but she’s too busy losing herself in the taste and feel of Cat on her tongue and hands to truly register anything else. The lather makes everything slide so easily, she can’t help but let her hands roam freely, but still, she doesn’t let them wander off, they stay within the perimeter of what she’s allowed herself so far and it’s enough to set her senses on fire. When they break the kiss, Cat leans back on her chest and lets her own hands wander along Kara’s legs, encouraging Kara to keep doing what she’s doing. She runs her tongue along Cat’s neck while grazing her arms and Cat responds by hissing and arching her back again and Kara can’t help but notice Cat’s breasts peeking out through the foam, her nipples red and stiff and Kara is overwhelmed with desire to touch them, kiss them, worship them. She runs her hands on Cat’s stomach in circles, with her mouth still on Cat’s neck, watching her hands moving higher and higher, until she can’t take it any longer.

“Can I-- Can I touch you?” she asks faintly.

“Oh god, please do,” Cat says, and Kara feels overpowered just by those simple words, begging her. And yet she lingers on her stomach for a little longer until Cat gets impatient and takes her hand and moves it on top of her own breast. She squeezes it and pushes it up, encouragingly. So Kara takes what she’s given, moves her other hand up, fills her palms with both of her breasts and Cat moans happily and Kara thinks she’s never felt anything so wonderful under her hands. She massages them, lathering them up with more foam, and rubs her thumbs on her nipples and they’re just so soft and firm and so perfect in her hands, she can’t believe she’s waited so long to feel them.

Cat shows her appreciation by breathing hard and running her hands on Kara’s legs, her hips, the back of her neck; she can tell she’d love to do more but she can’t reach much else in this position so she takes what she can get until she says, “Kara… please…” and Kara doesn’t even stop to think about it, she knows what Cat is asking and she’s in such a lust-filled daze she doesn’t question it, just slides her hand down and reaches Cat’s soft curls; she stops for a second when Cat whimpers and then she lets her hand go farther, reaching her center. Cat tenses for a second and then relaxes in Kara’s hands with a sigh and Kara doesn’t need any more encouragement, she’s right where she wants to be, where she needs to be. Cat rolls her hips against her hand, matching her rhythm and Kara doesn’t push her fingers deeper, she just loves the feel of Cat like this too much, and it would be awkward from this angle anyway. Cat doesn’t complain, she just grips Kara’s knees and opens up for her even more, dropping her head back and Kara concentrates all her efforts on meeting Cat’s needs, not caring if the water splashes outside the bathtub or that it’s getting cold and that the foam has all but disappeared. She hones in only on Cat’s breathing, on the way she’s tensing up, her movements getting less and less controlled, until she shatters in her arms with a loud cry and a spasm. She rides out the pleasure under Kara’s hand and Kara keeps slowly rubbing her fingers, until Cat reaches down and gently removes her hand, humming contentedly.

They don’t say anything while Cat recovers from her orgasm and Kara from her first time giving pleasure to anyone ever. Kara is surprised she doesn’t feel any shame at all, just a certain kind of pride for having satisfied Cat. She wants to do it over and over again. And then it occurs to her that in her daze, she hadn’t even thought once about the possibility of hurting Cat. Little by little all her insecurities and fears are crumbling without her even realizing it.

Cat sighs and then turns all the way round, facing her on her knees. She crawls into Kara’s lap, wrapping her legs around her hips and leans forward to kiss her. Kara hadn’t thought about what would come next, she had just sort of assumed that Cat would be tired or sleepy but she doesn’t seem tired at all. If anything, she’s even more awake than before. She bites Kara’s bottom lip and pulls it and buries her hand in Kara’s hair. Then she leans over Kara’s ear. “Take me to bed,” she whispers, and Kara is done listening to her fears, she just wants to listen to Cat and do whatever she tells her to. She helps Cat stand, then grabs a towel for her, wraps her up in it. She takes one for herself, dries herself quickly and then picks Cat up; she flies to the bedroom, while Cat latches on to her mouth and never lets go, not even when she lays her down onto her bed, _their_ bed. Cat rolls herself on top of Kara, tosses her towel on the floor and then leans back down, pushing one leg between hers. Kara runs her hands on Cat’s still damp back, and Cat lets her hands wander all along Kara’s legs. It’s her turn to explore now. She starts peppering wet, sloppy kisses on her neck, while her hands find her breasts and Kara arches into the touch. She feels Cat’s wet tendrils brush her skin before she feels Cat’s tongue swiping across her nipples and it’s good, but it’s also frightening, to hand over control to Cat. She wants to give in to Cat’s touch, she really does, but her body stops listening. She wills herself to relax and it works for a while, and the way Cat is swirling her tongue on her breast is definitely helping, but when Cat’s hand starts moving slowly south, scraping her abdomen on the way, Kara is suddenly terrified. She stops breathing while she follows Cat’s hand with her eyes and she doesn’t know what to do, she should say something, she should calm down, she should…

“Kara,” Cat says, “honey, you’re shaking.”

“I-- I am?”

Cat nods. “Is everything okay?”

“Sure,” she says hastily. “Everything is perfect. Totally fine.” She tries to smile but it comes out as a grimace.

Cat frowns. She lifts her hand and brings it up to cup Kara’s cheek. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I know,” she nods. “It’s just-- I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m sorry.” She shakes her head and bites her lips, but it happens anyway. Tears start flowing from her eyes and she covers her face with her hands in shame. “I’m sorry. I really want to,” she says again.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Cat slides off Kara and scoots close, wrapping an arm around Kara’s waist. She kisses her forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Kara says again.

Cat pushes away Kara’s hands from her face. “Please stop apologizing. I love you, no matter what. And I don’t care if you’ll never be ready, nothing is going to change that. I’ll always be here for you, you’ll always have me, do you understand?”

Kara sniffs and nods.

“You can’t force this,” Cat continues, hand rubbing her stomach in slow circles. “You’ll know when you’re ready. And when you do, you’ll let me know. But until then, I’m just happy to have you in my bed and wake up next to you and know that you’re here. It’s everything I need.”

Kara turns her head and looks into Cat’s beautiful, wide eyes and smiles. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Cat smiles back, pulls herself even closer and kisses her lightly. “You exist.”


	25. Twenty-five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Cat have different ideas regarding their future living arrangements. Also, Kara finds a possible solution about her intimacy issues.

She has started running. Not that she needs real physical training but it helps clear her mind, puts her in a good mood, and it might be just a psychological thing but she actually does feel energized after a good run, especially when she spends so much of her working time inside. It’s after a long run on a Sunday morning that she passes the local newsagent kiosk and gets an idea. She returns home arms loaded with a box of fresh cinnamon crullers and a bunch of fashion magazines, which she dumps on the kitchen island, where Cat is sipping her coffee still in her nightie.

Now that their relationship has sort of… progressed, Cat has dropped the cotton pajamas for this silk nightie which barely exists it’s so flimsy; Kara can’t find it in herself to complain about it especially when Cat’s excuse was that she’s too hot sleeping beside a furnace like Kara and it was either the nightie or nothing. Kara cannot deal with that level of nothingness yet, so flimsy silk nightie it is. 

She picks up one of the glossy magazines, flips through the pages until she finds the one she’s looking for and shows it to Cat.

“Did you know about this?”

It’s a photo of Cat crossing the road, her face covered in oversized sunglasses, looking very businesslike and professional, in her high heels and power suit and briefcase. 

“Of course I knew about it, I told you, remember?”

“OK, but it’s not just the odd magazine. You’re in, like, all of them?” She flicks through another one, where Cat is sipping a latte in a café sitting at a table outside, talking to some other glamorous-looking lady. In another one they’re comparing her outfit to what Claudia Schiffer is wearing on the runway of some fashion show. Apparently Cat wore it better.

Cat shrugs. “What can I do? They love me.”

“But why haven’t you told me how huge this is? Should I be worried? Are they going to start photographing me too, because I know you?”

Cat waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t be silly. You’re invisible to them, the way you dress. No offense.”

Kara frowns. “None taken. I think. But still, you could have given me a heads up.”

Cat puts her coffee down. “Okay, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you at some point or another, but we’ve been… busy otherwise,” she says with a sly grin and Kara tries her best not to blush because she should be past the point of blushing in front of Cat like that, but fails miserably.

She clears her throat. “Still. They’re calling you a style icon. What does that even mean?”

“It means people want to wear what I wear, take my picture to their hairdresser to copy my hairdo, things like that.”

“This is insane. Is that why you’ve been ordering all these new designer outfits that keep arriving in the mail? You’re lucky I’m here to receive them, by the way. Why don’t you go shopping in the shops like the rest of us?”

Cat sighs. “I don’t buy them. They send them to me.”

“Your fans?”

“No,” Cat chuckles, “the fashion houses. If I wear them, people are going to buy them. It’s cheaper than advertising and it doesn’t cost me anything. It’s a win win situation.”

“Wow, I had no idea. I bet Kal has been cutting out all your pictures and sticking them up in a scrapbook he can fawn over to his heart’s content,” she says. 

“Aw, bless him. I know grown women have been doing that, they’ve even asked me to autograph theirs, so why shouldn’t he?” she shrugs. “There’s just one tiny little problem. My wardrobe is not big enough, I might need a walk-in closet soon.”

“But we don’t have space for a walk-in closet.”

“I know.”

“So… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying we might, one day, consider finding a bigger place. At some point,” she says picking up her coffee and taking a sip, obviously trying to avoid her gaze.

“Another place, different from this one? Away from here?”

Cat grimaces over her cup. “Yes?”

“But… but this is our home.”

“I know. But you couldn’t possibly think we would live here forever?”

“Why not?”

“Because, Kara… It’s-- I mean, I love it here, I do. It’s perfect for us now, but it’s barely a step up from student accommodation. It can’t be forever.”

Kara had never paused to think about this, it had never occurred to her that she’d have to leave the place where she first kissed Cat, where she first touched her, where… everything started, really. And there are still so many more memories to make, she can’t imagine they won’t be making them here one day.

“Besides,” Cat continues, “we’ll have to think about buying, we can’t keep renting all our lives.”

“We could buy this one,” she says.

“Oh, Kara, be reasonable.”

“I am being reasonable! There are tons of reasons why we should stay here. The rent is cheap, we’re near the Daily Planet, the café around the corner sells the cupcakes you love.” She’s not mentioning any of the more important reasons, but she can tell Cat knows. There’s only one card left to play.

“I really feel at home here, Cat. I’ve lost so much in my life already, please let me keep this.”

She knows she’s hit a spot because Cat’s shoulders drop and she looks defeated. She also knows she’s playing dirty, but she’s not lying either. She needs something concrete and permanent she can hold on to. She has the farm in Kansas and her adoptive parents, but she’s always known she’d move out from there one day. This now is her home and she doesn’t want to give it up, not ever.

“OK, look,” Cat starts, her tone mellow, less condescending. “I can store some of the new stuff in your room--, I mean in the studio, for now, okay?”

Kara nods.

“And we won’t talk about this for the time being.”

“Not ever,” Kara murmurs, knowing full well Cat heard her.

***

Kara is sitting on her high painting stool, lazily sketching some new ideas, when out of the corner of her eye she sees Cat passing by. She turns her head and blinks. Cat has borrowed something of hers again, this time a faded blue denim button-down shirt which looks oversized on her, hanging loose on her bare legs - except for her grey socks - and what is it with Cat and not wearing pants around the house? Not that she’s complaining. 

She swivels around on her seat and crosses her arms, appraising her fully when a thought crosses her mind. She uses a burst of super speed to grab her polaroid camera from the studio and steals a snapshot of Cat coming out of the kitchen with a cup of tea in her hand, her face free of makeup, looking grumpy and tired. 

“A-ha!” she says, triumphantly, shaking the photo in her hand. “I’m going to sell this to the media.” She takes a look at the photo and giggles. “Such a style icon.”

Cat’s eyes widen. She puts her mug down and flings herself at Kara trying to reach for the photo. Kara dangles it up high, taunting her. “You’re never gonna get it.”

Cat makes a frustrated noise. “Give. it. to. me,” she says, hopping on her feet in vain.

Kara is having too much fun watching Cat getting more and more frustrated. “How are you so cute when you’re angry?”

Cat glares. “You’re going to sleep on the couch tonight,” she says, sounding for all the world like she means it.

“Okay,” Kara relents, “let’s not get carried away. You can have a look at it,” she says, lowering her arm and Cat snatches it from her fingers, almost tearing it in the process.

While Cat is busy frowning at the picture, Kara takes the opportunity to pull Cat in by her shirt. “You know I want it back,” she says into her ear.

“Not a chance. I’ll burn it and scatter its ashes into the wind.”

“But you look so cute!”

“How many times do I have to tell you that cute is not a word I wish to be associated with?”

Kara pouts and Cat rolls her eyes and sets the photo down on the table behind her. She climbs onto Kara’s lap, straddling her, wraps her arms around her neck and pushes her hips forward. 

“Oh-kay,” Kara says, clearing her throat. “Not cute. Definitely not cute.”

“Uh-uh,” says Cat, slowly shaking her head. She leans down and thrusts her tongue into Kara’s mouth without preliminaries and Kara whimpers, before she can collect her bearings enough to respond. She runs her hands along Cat’s bare legs while Cat keeps kissing her fiercely, holding her face in her hands, sucking on her bottom lip and making sounds that send a pool of heat between Kara’s legs. She imagines Cat breaking the kiss and then lowering her mouth to her neck, slowly trailing down, climbing off her to get on her knees, her fingers quickly unbuttoning her pants, holding her gaze the whole time; she imagines Cat pulling down her panties and then… and then she feels her legs closing shut, automatically, in fear. 

She sighs in frustration and Cat releases her mouth with a pop. She frowns. “What is it?” she says, her lips swollen, the shirt slipped to one side leaving one shoulder bare and her hair even more dishevelled than before. Kara wants to kick herself. There’s got to be something that she can do, that _they_ can do to get out of this.

“Nothing, I just--” Then a thought suddenly strikes her. “Um, Cat?”

“Yes?” she says, cupping her face with one hand, smiling softly now, all the heat of the previous moment gone.

“Would you, um, would you take me out on a date?”

Cat tilts her head and drops her hand. “A date?”

Kara nods. 

“Why? We live together. We sleep together…” Cat narrows her eyes and frowns.

“I know but, I feel like we’ve skipped some steps. We were friends for years and then suddenly we’re kissing and… and other stuff,” she swallows. “And it’s great and everything, but I still feel like we’ve cheated. There are rules, steps that need to be taken.”

“Okay, let me get this straight. You want me to woo you, am I correct?”

“Um.”

“Take you out for dinner, send you flowers, that kind of thing?”

Kara lifts one shoulder. “That’s just how we do-- did things on my planet. You’d eventually have to ask my parents for the right to, um, mate, with me. And that’s when we could-- you could--”

Cat’s gaze softens. “Oh, Kara.”

Kara feels so stupid, having to ask this of Cat, when she’s being so patient and understanding with her already, but it’s the only way she can think of that would make her lose her fears, that would make her feel like she has a right to give herself to Cat completely.

“Okay,” she says, straightening her back. “Kara Zor-El Kent, will you go out on a date with me?”

Kara beams. “Yes,” she breathes. “Yes, I will.”


	26. Twenty-six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's date time

Cat plans the whole date in secrecy. No matter how many questions Kara asks her, she doesn’t give in.

“Just wait and see,” she tells her. But Kara doesn’t want to wait and see, she’s too curious and excited and she needs to know now. So she keeps asking questions, tries to read into what Cat tells her (which is close to nothing), tries to trick her into revealing clues (which doesn’t work but doesn’t stop her from trying). All she knows is that they’re having dinner early, somewhere, and that they’re going to a thing after, and that she needs to dress smart. For the thing, not the dinner. It’s the thing that intrigues Kara the most. She’s obviously excited about food, but not knowing what comes after is excruciating. What could be better than food? More food? Fancier food? Kara is going crazy. Short of searching their room, she’s tried everything.

Cat is obviously very good at keeping secrets because suddenly it’s date time and they need to get ready. Traditionally she should be picked up by her date, but Kara’s happy to forgo that part in their case. They still get dressed in separate rooms and and Kara ends up having to wait for Cat who takes longer than usual to come out.

It’s all worth it though because when she opens the door Kara is awestruck. Cat is simply stunning, in a mini gold crochet dress, gold sandals and dangling silver earrings. Suddenly Kara feels underdressed in her simple flare black dress.

She swallows, her mouth suddenly gone dry. “You, um, you look…”

“Yes, Kara?” Cat drawls, pausing at the door to allow Kara to get her fill.

Kara takes a deep breath. “You look like a movie star.”

Cat grins. She walks towards her and pulls her in by the waist. “And you make me want to skip dinner altogether.” She runs her hands along her thighs and Kara shivers.

“O-- okay,” she says, because Cat is kissing her neck now and she literally doesn’t know what is happening anymore.

Cat chuckles against her skin. “Oh my. Would you willingly skip food?”

“Wait, what? No,” she says, pulling Cat away. “Food. Let’s food!”

“That’s my girl,” Cat says, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Come on, our limo should be here any minute.”

“Our limo?”

Cat closes her eyes and waves dismissively. “It’s rental.”

While Kara is still stunned by this piece of information, Cat grabs their coats and pulls her outside by the hand.

   
*** 

Inside it’s like a classy mini hotel lounge, with cream leather seats and a mini bar. Kara takes it all in in awe.

“Cat, this is… woah, is that a chocolate fountain?”

“That’s out of bounds until after dinner. Here, have a glass with me.” She pours something bubbly into a flute and hands it to her. She pours one for herself and clinks her glass to Kara’s, holding her gaze.

“It’s champagne, isn’t it?”

Cat just smirks and wiggles in her seat, obviously already smug by how the date is going so far.

It takes a while to get there. They get out of the city and then start going up a hill, bend after bend, until Kara can’t take it anymore. “Can you tell me where we’re going now?”

Cat huffs. “You really don’t like surprises, do you?”

“I do. I love surprises. I just don’t like being kept in the dark.”

“Honestly, Kara. You’re worse than a child.”

“That’s not what you said in bed last night,” she says.

Cat gives her a side glance and purses her lips, trying to suppress a smile. “I stand corrected, you’re worse than a teenage boy.”

But Kara is still proud of herself, of being able to joke with Cat about being intimate with her. She might not be as smooth as she’d like to be but it’s all part of the process of easing into their relationship, of making it normal and legitimate and real.

They’re still only halfway there, though. Cat had tried to talk Kara into waiting to have sex again until she felt ready to be loved in return, but Kara had told her she didn’t want to go back to how things were. She loved touching Cat that first time in the bath, didn’t feel self-conscious or ashamed. She felt powerful and excited and whole. There was no way she’d give up that now. Still, Cat had been very reluctant and Kara had learned that she could be convincing. Very convincing.

So now, almost every night, Kara makes love to her, with her fingers, with her mouth, with her whole self, but shuts down every time Cat tries to reciprocate. It’s frustrating for her and hurtful for Cat; she doesn’t say it but Kara knows that Cat’s starting to feel unwanted. They just can’t keep going like this.

Their limo stops when it gets to a little square of what looks like a tiny village.

While Cat thanks the driver and confirms the time for their next pick up, Kara gets out, looking around.

“Are we still in Metropolis?” she says, reaching the dry-stone wall overlooking the city below, all darkness and glittery lights.

“Sure,” Cat says, when she catches up with her. “It’s just a little suburb out of the way.”

“Is this where all your celebrity friends gather, away from the lowly masses?” she asks, twirling around to face Cat.

“It is a well-kept secret among the few.”

Kara smiles, filled with pride about all that Cat has achieved so far, and excitement for the night ahead.

“So, shall we?” Cat says, offering her arm.

“Yes,” Kara says, taking it.

The restaurant is tiny, just like this whole place. It’s almost like being at someone’s house. Cat has reserved the table on the balcony, which is all for them. There are candles and roses and sweet classical music wafting through the discreet speakers on the windowsills.

Kara smiles at Cat and reaches for her hand over the table. She holds it, runs her thumb over it, and Cat smiles back at her, but pulls her hand away as soon as their server comes.

“Can I bring you something to drink?” the waitress asks.

Kara lets Cat flaunt her local wine knowledge while she sits back and thinks about her previous date. When she was trying really hard to feel something _more_ , something special. While now… well. It would be hard not to feel overwhelmed with happiness just to be here with Cat. Even just saying her name in her mind makes her weak in the knees. She’s here with Cat. She’s with Cat. What could be better than this?

“Is this okay?” Cat asks and Kara blinks, brought back from her reverie, and smiles her brightest smile. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

Cat narrows her eyes. “You haven’t even tasted it,” she says, pointing with her eyes at the glass in front of her.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

She sips the wine, and it _is_ perfect, from what she can tell, and she says so. In all honesty, it could taste of ashes and it still would be perfect for Kara, but she knows that Cat cares about her opinion. So Cat orders a bottle and then they have a look at the menu. It’s Italian and Cat tells her she can order as much as she wants of anything and Kara is so excited she can’t breathe for a second. She’s tempted to order everything on the menu, but a quick look at their table tells her there wouldn’t be enough space, so she limits herself to two of each course. The waitress doesn’t blink and just takes their order without commenting and Kara is impressed. She’s used to people on this planet being horrified at the amount of food she eats, so it’s refreshing not to feel like an oddity now.

“You told the staff not to say anything about my order, didn’t you?”

“I might have. Do you mind?”

“No. On the contrary,” she smiles. “You’ve thought of everything.”

“Well,” Cat shrugs, “what’s the point of doing anything if it’s not done to perfection?”

Kara wants to roll her eyes at Cat’s dismissal of her own thoughtfulness, but she refrains. She’s too happy to spoil it even one bit. And soon the food comes and Kara’s mind is too busy with how delicious everything is to leave space for anything else.

They have three different kinds of pies for dessert, Cat taking a bite of each one and Kara wolfing down the rest, and while Cat sips the espresso on the house, Kara leans back, feeling utterly content and in harmony with the cosmos.

“So, what’s next?”

“Now we head to town,” Cat says with a twinkle in her eye.

“I know I said I hoped the next stage involved more food, but I really don’t think I can eat more. If the next stage entails food, that is.”

“You don’t have to eat, if you don’t want to.”

“Oh, so it _does_ entail food?”

Cat rolls her eyes, puts the cup down and stands up. She walks over to Kara and offer her a hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

***

Cat gives the driver a card with an address on it and Kara can only relax and let the night unfold the way Cat has planned. She does make good use of the utterly decadent chocolate fountain though, despite what she said earlier about not being able to eat anymore, because why let such an opportunity go to waste? She dips fresh strawberries in it, taking turns in feeding one to herself and one to Cat. She knows Cat only accepts them to entertain her but there’s something sinful about the way she takes the bite and then licks the chocolate off her lips, locking eyes with Kara while she does. It makes her wish they could just spend the rest of the night inside this limo.

The limo drops them at a side road way too soon for Kara’s liking and it’s only when she gets out of the car that she realizes where they are. There is a long line outside an art studio where a smartly dressed security guard is checking people’s invitations. Cat places a hand on the small of Kara’s back and gently pushes her forward.

“Unfortunately we need to join the line like everyone else,” she whispers in her ear.

“Cat, is this-- Did you--”

Cat looks straight ahead, managing somehow to look completely unruffled and totally smug at the same time.

“Did you get an invitation for Ava McKenzie’s opening?”

Cat nods.

“How?”

McKenzie is the hottest painter in town at the moment. She’s only in her early 30s but her work has already featured in some of the most important art showcases of the decade. Everyone and their mother wants to be here tonight and Kara is no exception.

“Shouldn’t you know by now? I have my ways.”

Kara snakes an arm around Cat’s waist and squeezes it gently. She rests her head on Cat’s shoulder and says, “I love your ways.”

She doesn’t mean to but her super hearing picks up a spike in Cat’s heart, pulsing wildly in her throat, as if it could rip through at any moment. She looks at Cat, concerned. “Is everything alright?”

Cat takes a deep breath and disentangles herself from Kara’s grip. She smooths down nonexistent creases out of her dress and says, “Of course. Everything is perfectly fine.”  
Kara is unconvinced, until Cat looks at her and smiles softly and everything is good again in the world.

The first thing Kara spots, before she even has a chance to look at the art on the walls, is the buffet table. There are cheese platters with tiny jars of honey on them, there are mini sausages and olives, caviar tarts, salmon and avocado rolls, meatballs, courgette fritters, and the widest range of maki rolls Kara has ever seen. She fills up a small plate with a bit of everything and goes back to Cat. She grabs two prosecco flutes from a server passing by and hands one to Cat.

“I can’t believe they don’t have any potstickers,” she mutters, munching on a couple of mini sausages.

Cat raises both of her eyebrows. “What happened to being too full to eat anything else?”

Kara gives her a lopsided grin. “You know I can’t say no to free food.”

Cat shakes her head and takes a sip of her wine. “As long as you don’t get sick on the way back.”

Kara keeps grinning and starts to relax. “So. Big art show, huh?”

“I know this is not your style, but I thought you’d like to see how a big exhibition such as this one is done. Maybe you can get ideas for your future one.”

“Are you kidding me? I love Ava McKenzie. She might not be my inspiration artwise, but she is a legend in the field. To accomplish so much so fast? That’s extraordinary. And she’s so cool and confident and outspoken and charming and…”

“Alright, I get it. You like her.”

“Well, not _like_ -like her, it’s not that I-- I mean… you know what I mean, right?”

Cat sighs one of her over dramatic sighs. “I’m guessing you’d like to meet her?”

“M-meet _her_? As in now? Here?” Kara freezes half-bite.

“Come on, try to act like a grown up and follow me,” she says, strutting her way through the crowd. “She knows we’re here, you don’t want to disappoint her, do you?”

They find McKenzie surrounded by a group of admirers fawning over her. Cat elbows her way in and somehow Kara finds herself between Cat and one of her biggest living artist heroes. She looks like the legend she is. Dark spiky hair, leather jacket and attitude to go with it. She sees Cat and her face brightens.

“Ava, darling,” Cat greets her and Kara stares with her mouth open as McKenzie leans over and kisses Cat on both cheeks.

“Hi, Cat, so glad you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Here, I want you to meet my dear friend Kara Kent.”

Kara’s first instinct is to extend her arm to greet her but both of her hands are full so she just nods awkwardly. “Yes. Cat’s friend. That’s me.”

Kara doesn’t want to feel weird about the way Cat introduced her. She is her friend, after all. No, _first_ of all, actually. And it’s not like she was expecting Cat to announce her as the love of her life to the world. She tries to shake the weird feeling away as McKenzie regards her curiously.

“Lovely to meet you, Cat’s friend,” McKenzie says.

Cat makes her trademark unimpressed face and says, “Kara is also an artist. Her work has featured in the Daily Planet, you might have heard of her.”

“Oh, of course I have. I love your stuff, Kara.”

Kara’s eyes widen. “You do?”

“Definitely. Especially your fantastical landscapes. I love the bold strokes and your choice of colour. We should chat sometimes. Here, take my card.”

Kara hands her plate to a passing server and takes the card before McKenzie disappears, swept away by other adoring admirers. Kara is left there blinking, half thinking she just imagined the whole thing.

“Did that just happen? It happened, right?”

“It definitely happened,” Cat assures her.

“She wants to talk to me, in private. For real.”

“Kara, when will you realize you’re hot stuff? Start acting like it.”

Kara feels herself blush once again while she tucks the card safely in her clutch. “OK,” she clears her throat, “so… what now?”

“Feel like taking a look at the exhibition? That is, if you’re finished being starstruck?”

“I am not--”

But Cat hooks her arm around Kara’s and pulls her away, clearly showing no patience for her feeble attempts at defending herself.

It’s true that the art is not exactly her genre, but she still admires it. And the whole organisation, the layout, the choice of venue, it all helps Kara envision her own show. Which will totally happen one day, even if the thought makes her feel queasy. And it’s totally on Cat. It’s her support, her encouragement, her faith in her that continually pushes her to do more, to rise up to the potential that Cat has always seen in her. She’s suddenly flooded with love and gratitude for her girlfriend and without thinking too much about it, she turns to face her, pulls her in by the waist and lovingly brushes a strand of hair off her face before leaning in and...

Cat freezes.

She looks terrified. She pulls away, frantically looking around.

“What’s the matter?” Kara asks.

Cat shakes her head and whispers “Not here, Kara.”

Kara is too stunned to speak.

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” Cat says under her breath. She pretends to look at the painting in front of her, drinking her wine while Kara stands there, her heart sinking lower by the second.

Kara recovers her speech enough to say, “Cat, what the hell?”

Cat purses her lips but doesn’t say anything more and Kara is suddenly furious. She’ll be damned if she doesn’t get Cat to explain herself.

“Can we at least talk about this?” Kara says.

“Not here,” she says again.

“Okay, then.” She scans the place quickly and sees a restroom on the other side of the hall. “Come on,” Kara says, without touching her. But her voice is commanding enough that Cat follows her without needing more instructions.

Kara waits for Cat to catch up with her and then locks the door behind her.

“So, I’m not allowed to kiss my girlfriend in public, is that it?”

“Kara…”

“You’re ashamed of being seen in public with me? I’m good enough to be your awkward arty friend in front of your celebrity crowd, but not to be your actual girlfriend?”

“Ashamed? Kara, what are you talking about? I’ve never been more proud of you than I am now.” She tries to take Kara’s hands but Kara takes a step back.

“Well, then. Why?”

“Why?” Cat is heating up now too. “How can you ask me that?”

Kara is close to tears and her head is too full of disappointment to truly get what Cat means at first. Then it dawns on her that she would never expect Cat to be parading her love in public on Krypton. They’d have to hide, meet in secret, never be honest about their feelings to anyone. But for some reason, she had let herself forget that it’s not too different here on Earth. They have enjoyed a kind of sheltered bliss so far, and she had taken for granted that it would translate into the outside world too. Because Cat is not just her best friend. She’s her hero. She should be stronger than conventions. Bolder than prejudice. She knows she’s not being fair, but she can’t help feeling let down.

“I just thought-- I don’t know,” she wipes away a tear. “I just thought things would be different, for us.”

“Why, because you’re a superhero from outer space who doesn’t abide by Earth’s rules?”

“No,” she says, almost offended. “Because you’re Cat Grant.”

“Oh, Kara,” Cat says, her voice softening. “That is exactly why we can’t show ourselves in public like that. They would destroy me. And you. We might even lose our jobs. We can’t risk that. Not now.”

“I know-- it’s just… I wasn’t thinking about any of that. All I want is to go out there and shout from the top of my lungs how much I love you and, and I can’t. Maybe I never will be able to. And, I don’t know, it seems like you’re not as angry about this as I am.”

Cat doesn’t retort angrily as Kara expects her to. She just steps into her space and takes her hands. Kara lets her this time. “You don’t think I want to do all that too? God help me, I would in a heartbeat, if I knew it wouldn’t be the end of both of our careers.” She raises a hand to cup her face, gently rubbing her thumb on her cheek. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. If this is not the perfect date you wanted. But no matter what happened tonight, you mustn’t forget the most important thing.”

“What?” Kara asks, holding her breath.

“I love you.”

Kara gives her a half smile and exhales. “I love you too.”

“You’re…” Cat looks up at her, eyes trembling. “You’re my everything, Kara.”

And Kara is still a bit angry and hurt and she wishes she could forget the last fifteen minutes of her life but she can’t help melt at Cat’s words.

“Can I kiss you now?” she says, despite herself.

Cat softly presses her lips on hers in lieu of an answer.

When she breaks the kiss, Cat says, “I think we’ve monopolized the bathroom long enough. Are you ready to go back there?”

Kara doesn’t feel ready. She wants to keep hiding in this fancy bathroom, wants to kiss Cat again and hold her close, press her nose on her neck and breath deep.

“Yes,” she says, instead. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character of Ava McKenzie is completely made up, in case you were wondering.
> 
> Also Cat's dress is inspired by [this one](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/b3/1a/19/b31a19f54d585b88e132cebd9f7ee68a--crochet-stitches-patterns-stitch-patterns.jpg) worn by Calista
> 
> Cat's is much shorter, though ;)


End file.
